Fearless Fables
by KateMarie999
Summary: A series of canonical stories set in the Growing Up Haddock universe. Most of them focus on Hiccstrid parenting. Non linear timeline. Mostly lighthearted. If you love the characters in the series, you'll love this! Only HTTYD and R/DoB are canon.
1. Talons and Toddlers Part One

_A new __Growing Up Haddock__ story series? Oh yes! This particular series is about the miscellaneous stories I'd created but hadn't been able to write into one of the actual stories in the series. For new readers, my __Growing Up Haddock__ series is all about Hiccup and Astrid's foray into parenting fraternal twins named Fearless Finn and Adrianna Miracle. This opens up a lot of possibilities and ideas._

_For those of you who are wondering, yes there will be more of __Little Miracles__ and its sequel, __Under Pressure__. These are just short stories about the twins! And the best part is that they're intentionally comedic and not emotionally distressing at all!_

_Co-written by __**amyboomerang**__. You know, the one who also co-wrote A Snoggletog Carol. We tend to write a lot of comedy when together and angst when separate._

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><p><strong>Talons and Toddlers<br>Part One**

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><p>"Umm… Umm… Guys this is really heavy—" Hiccup huffed under the weight of the massive crate he had just heaved from the upper level. Toothless made a strangely strained noise as he tried to support his human who was beginning to topple sideways down the stairs. "I could really use some help…" He lost his footing momentarily as he shot a desperate expression to his guffawing family. "ASTRID!"<p>

Astrid was too busy laughing at that moment to respond, so Adrianna took pity on her exhausted father who was now leaning, panting, on the railing, with the box perched precariously on the stair immediately beneath him. She ran up the stairs, squeezed past Toothless, and tried to grab the box from beneath. She strained to help lift it. Hiccup did not waste much time in watching her.

"Thank you, Addie, but I don't think—" she was now climbing onto the top to get up to where her father was, unknowingly shifting its center of gravity. It began to slowly tip beneath her weight—"you're going to—ADDIE!" He grabbed the little girl around the waist a second before the box tipped and tumbled down the stairs. Toothless narrowly missed its careening adventure by leaping with a frustrated squawk onto one of the rafters. At the base of the stairs, Astrid regained her poise long enough to dodge the crate as it broke open and spilled its contents across the floor.

Adrianna took one look at the mess now covering the floor and slowly looked up at her father with a sheepish expression. "Sorry daddy."

"No, no. It's okay. You actually made my job a lot easier. And we didn't need that crate anyway."

"Dad, what _is_ that?" Finn asked, probing a massive metal coated object which had landed atop the majority of the baby paraphernalia they were donating to Gustav's soon to be firstborn.

"Oh. That." Hiccup replied slowly, scratching the back of his head as he descended the stairs, Adrianna still in tow. He hoisted her to the floor on the other side of the mess before jumping gingerly over it himself. "That is... well…"

"That's your old playpen." Astrid interjected. "I'd forgotten how much like a prison it looked." She began to set it up aright so they could see it more clearly. The playpen stood almost three feet high, and its crowning glory was a metal infused door and locking mechanism.

Adrianna tried to push up the latch at the top of the gate. As soon as it wiggled free, she grabbed the handle and tried to swing it open, only to be surprised when it would not budge. "It's stuck." She said, pulling hard on it.

"No, no, it's supposed to do that." Astrid replied.

"Though if it were stuck we'd never notice," Hiccup added.

"Let me try, you're just weak." Finn said, pushing his sister's hand from the gate. He braced his feet on either side of the gate and heaved backwards with his full weight.

"If your grandfather couldn't get that open, I doubt you will." Astrid dryly remarked while taking a seat by the table to watch.

Finn let go and glowered at the mechanism. "What was this again?"

"Your playpen. We never opened it either; we just sort of… hoisted you over." Hiccup said. "Actually, I think Gobber was the only person who ever did know how that lock worked."

"He tried to show you once." Astrid piped up.

"Yeah, and it took four hands and three feet to do it. Not to mention the strength of a dragon."

"Not like we have any of those here, or anything." Astrid deadpanned. Stormfly, who was stretched out by the hearth made a soft noise of approval while Toothless leapt from the rafters down onto the stairs, eager to lend his assistance to the task.

"Why is the lock so… so…" Adrianna began, searching for the right word.

"Elaborate?" Hiccup said helpfully.

"Impenetrable?" Astrid corrected.

"Yeah… that." Adrianna said, not fully comprehending the words her parents had offered.

"Well… It's an interesting story…" Hiccup began, looking awkwardly off into the corner where the playpen used to be located. There were still scrapes on the wall where it had been rocked into the wood repeatedly by toddlers eager to escape. "We had a lot more lax security at first, but it turns out you all were pretty stealthy by the age of one or so."

The twins both looked at each other inquisitively. If they had been watching, they would have been captivated by the scathing looks the dragons were shooting the now erected playpen. Toothless seemed, especially, to take it as a symbol of ill will.

"What happened?" Adrianna asked, climbing onto the seat next to her mother. Finn decided to investigate the lock again.

"Well, we aren't entirely certain of the details," Astrid began, "but from what witnesses said we've pieced together the majority of it." She cast a mischievous look to her husband.

"Well, you know how the dragons sometimes babysit you? Well…"

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><p>"HICCUP! ASTRID! COME QUICKLY!" The door slammed open on the family breakfast. Fishlegs came to a halt at the foot of the table.<p>

"Well, I'm glad it was only the first reasonably timed breakfast the family's had since the kids were born." Hiccup drawled while spoon feeding Adrianna. Astrid was in the middle of a battle to get some of the food from the spoon into her son's mouth, as opposed to his shirt, the table, the walls…

"MagnuswastrainingherWhisperingDeathanditgotspookedanditburrowedundertheAcademyandwecan'tfinditanymorebutwethinkitwasheadedtothewellandyourememberthelasttimeaWhisperingDeathgotnearthewelland—"

"Fishlegs—Fishlegs, calm down." Hiccup put his free hand up to try and halt his friend's incomprehensible diatribe. "I got Magnus, Whispering Death, burrow, and well. What happened?"

Fishlegs took a deep breath. "Magnus's Whispering Death burrowed out from under the Academy stables and we think it's heading to the well."

"Well, Magnus's Whispering Death is only just a hatchling. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Just lure it out with some food." Hiccup replied.

"Yeah, about that… Magnus had just put a saddle on it, and she may have still been wrapped up in it when it went under."

"MAY have been?"

"Well… She's not in the Academy anymore…" Fishlegs said awkwardly. He had been put in charge of helping the youngest recruits while Hiccup and Astrid were both preoccupied with the baby days.

Hiccup started suddenly. "I think this may need immediate attention!" He announced.

"MAY need?" Astrid retorted while she ripped off Finn's bib in a hurry and tried to rub the excess food from his face. "We need to go. Now."

As she deposited Finn in the playpen, Hiccup cleaned Adrianna up as well. "We can't both go. What about the twins?"

Astrid took Adrianna from his arms and placed her next to her brother, who was now reaching through the bars trying to grab hold of his mother's skirt. "We are both needed. Think about it. What are you going to do if you have to calm down a frantic Whispering Death and cut off a saddle at the same time? Not to mention calming down Magnus, which has never been one of your strengths."

"Gee, thanks so much for the confidence." Hiccup retorted.

"GO. NOW." Astrid grabbed her husband's arm and began rushing him out the door.

"But what about the twins?"

"It'll only take twenty minutes! They'll be fine. They are in their playpen and this is an emergency. What's the worst that could happen?"

As Fishlegs pulled the door closed behind him he shakily said, "Um… Astrid… Did you have to say something like that? You know… When you say stuff like that…"

"STUFF IT!" Astrid shouted. Urgency was something she definitely had a better hold on than either of the two men she was with.

Adrianna stared desperately at the door and began to cry, hoping for the reaction she got when her father closed the door on her too early at bedtime. She wanted nothing more than for him to rush through that door and scoop her into his arms. However, this time no one came. Finn, on the other hand, took the opportunity of his sister's reclining position to use her leg as a step to get higher on the gate.

Toothless, who had been prepared to rush out after his rider before the door had been slammed shut, was startled from his vigil at the window by an even more anguished cry from Adrianna than had previously been heard. He swung his head around just in time to see Finn step off of his sister and fully onto what turned out to be the gate to the playpen. The simple motion of changing his weight over entirely to the top section of the gate caused a low creak as the wood splintered and the lock popped open. Toothless felt his heart plunge like he had just dived into the ocean. The young were loose.

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><p><em>The second chapter is finished and I don't want to brag but I do think it is the most hilarious thing Amy and I have ever produced. I'm making this a collaboration because she and I do comedy so incredibly well. The other <span>Growing Up Haddock<span> stories are mine with a little help here and there so please don't think I'm incapable of writing something good on my own._


	2. Talons and Toddlers Part Two

_Can I just say that __**amyboomerang**__ and I had a BLAST coming up with ideas for and writing this? I really hope you enjoy it._

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><p><strong>Talons and Toddlers<br>****Part Two**

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><p>Finn had always been interested in shiny objects—darting lights, beads, buttons, silverware—and currently one of his mother's daggers which had fallen beneath the family table. He toddled cheerfully across the room and picked it up to examine it. A second later a replacement tail fin slapped it out of his hands. Finn looked up into Toothless' face, which was staring intently into his own. For a moment he was almost afraid… but, then began to giggle and clap his hands. Toothless did not understand this little human.<p>

A moment after the knife had been cruelly snatched from him, Finn noticed something else of interest. His mother had left her food on the table, and it looked like such fun paint. Knowing very well that neither of the large creatures his parents kept seemed to be permitted to be near him, (something about them being "too big" and the possibility of "crushing them") he decided that the now nearby ledge which was the dragon's face would make another convenient step his journey for self-satisfaction. He climbed up, using the mouth as a foot hole and grasping the top of his head for support, and then tumbled cleanly onto the table as his stair pulled back in surprise. Finn's little fingers were instantly drawn into the berry porridge, crushing the small fruits between his hands with a laugh. Toothless, now having shaken off the feeling of being used as a staircase had barely a moment of reprise before SQUELCH—his face was smeared with berry juice. In shock the dragon stood still for a moment while the finger painting commenced.

Even the most patient of dragons would begin to snap at this moment. He growled his discontent with the situation, yanked his head back, and tried to wipe the liquid from face with a taloned foot. His tail swished with agitation, rubbing against the doorknob and cracking open the door. Finn, who had been cheerfully embellishing the top of the table with his artwork, looked up at the noise (because he looked forward to his parents praising his masterpiece) and, seeing the door now open, suddenly got a marvelous idea. Right through the crack in the door he could see the most wonderful thing a tiny boy could see—a mud pit. The rain that morning had left a soft, squishy pool of dark liquid begging to be played in. He quickly dropped from the table to a chair, and from the chair to the ground. He ducked beneath the still preening dragon and raced as quickly as his little legs could carry him right out the door and into the mud.

Toothless stared out the door for a moment, letting the escape sink in. Suddenly it occurred to him—his human would probably not like it if his young left his pen. He lunged through the door after the little boy, leaving a now quiet and curious Adrianna completely alone.

Stormfly had also noticed the redhead plunging headfirst into the mud pit below her. She let out a croon before standing up from her comfortable sunbathing rock to follow him. Not eager to get herself dirty (Nadders are prestigious about their appearance after all), she stood awkwardly at the squishy bank. Toothless reached the bank of the pit a second later at rapid speed—a little too rapid. He could not manage to stop, and ended up sliding across the mud like ice, right over the playing child. Stormfly almost snorted in amusement. Toothless steadied himself and shook the mud from his face, when a voice echoed across the island from the arena.

"SNOUTLOUT, WHAT IN THOR'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO THINK THAT THROWING A SHEEP WOULD CALM A DRAGON _DOWN_?!" It was his human. He did not sound happy. Toothless' first reaction was to dart after the voice, but a splash of mud hitting his nose quickly brought him back to reality. Finn was beginning to build a mud house, and Toothless appeared to be the guest of honor.

Stormfly, in the meanwhile, had found the most secure bank on the mud pit to perch while she used one foot to try and pluck the child from the mud. She did not see her owner appreciating her lifting the young by its head, so she needed to grasp it by its removable skin. It kept moving, however, which did make this task difficult. Especially on one foot.

"Daddy!" A high-pitched, distinctly feminine voice floated across the lawn. Both dragons froze and looked across the grass to where Adrianna was toddling her way onto the swinging bridge which served as the road to the Academy. "Daddy, I coming."

They exchanged a look, and after a moment silently agreed. Toothless darted towards the bridge, allowing Stormfly to focus her attention back on the job at foot. Only, the young had disappeared. She looked around frantically, finally spotting it, free of its upper skin, darting towards the village faster than a young Nadder after a scampering mouse. She let out a sigh of frustration, taking off after the child at a rapid pace.

Adrianna, meanwhile, intent on following her father's voice, had become slightly preoccupied with the sight of the ocean slapping at the multitudes of sharp rocks down beneath the bridge. She giggled at the sight of some fish leaping in the water in the distance, and had almost forgotten her objective when another scream echoed from the Academy.

"TUFF, WHEN I SAID IT NEEDS TO COOL DOWN FIRST I DIDN'T DOUSE IT IN WATER. THAT'S JUST GREAT, NOW ITS WET AAAAAAND FURIOUS." There was a pause. "AND SHOOTING SPIKES, DUUUUUCK!"

Adrianna giggled again. Her father sounded like he was playing over at the Academy. She wanted to play too. In her rush to turn back to her path, she lost her footing on the bridge and tumbled off to the side. She let out a gasp—

And had Toothless been a split second later, he would have been tasked with wordlessly explaining why it was his human had left the house the father of two and returned the father of one, assuming Stormfly could get the other young under control. The little girl, now grasped between his teeth, was giggling madly, hiccupping and saying "Fly, fly!"

_Not now_, he thought, understanding very well this command. He returned to the lawn outside of the house before collapsing to gasp in heavy breaths of air, the child now sprawled on the lawn, dripping with dragon saliva. "Ewwww…."

Toothless closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He was certain he had only closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure, but when he opened them he discovered the young was gone. She had vanished like a Changewing into a forest. Actually…

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><p>Finn loved his Uncle Gobber's workshop. There was so much to play with. Panpipes, blocks, toys, and the occasional forgotten weapon which had fallen under the workbench. Gobber was usually pretty good about keeping his forge child friendly since so many of the children in the village tended to run through its open windows and doors while playing. He usually closed it up pretty tightly when he was not in just to insure no one got into anything they shouldn't, but as it so happened in his haste to go help rescue Magnus, along with most of the population of Berk it seemed, he had forgotten.<p>

Finn was going to have a blast. Hopefully not literally, or at least someone would have hoped this if they had been there.

Finn's first act was to start pulling the crates of equipment and toys out from under the workbench. Uncle Gobber's toys were the best. Some of them were even sharp! Most of them he called "tools" but a few of them were called "Don't touch that!" Those were his favorites. He located one of the smaller "Don't touch that's" which featured a pointy ball and a stick. He tried to lift the stick up and giggled as it flopped back to the floor as soon as he released it. Small dents began to form in the dust beneath his feet, which fascinated him. He bent down to examine them, and in doing so, something else caught his eye.

Across the back wall, which was made entirely of stone, Finn spotted an orange light glowing from the farthest down of two holes. The fire danced, small but strong and free, in the back of the furnace. Gobber had obviously forgotten to completely extinguish the flames in his haste to head out. He obviously had not realized how mesmerizing they were to little boys. Finn crawled closer to investigate.

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><p>Stormfly had lost the young almost as soon as they had entered the village. With most of the villagers at the Academy watching the current spectacle, you would have thought that it would be easier to spot one little boy. However, the little one had dodged between buildings and quickly shaken her off the trail. She ran through the abandoned plaza, looking between every house before a loud, familiar giggle finally clued her into his position. Her head snapped to the side, and out of the corner of her eye she could see movement through the door to the forge. She rushed forward just in time to spot a pair of little feet poking out of the hole at the base of the forge where the fire was lit. The orange glow further gave her a sinking feeling about what the young was doing, and let's face it, humans are about as fireproof as wood.<p>

Her immediate response was to snap her beak into the plush removable skin which covered the lower half of his body and drag him, squirming, from the furnace. He let out a shriek of indignation as she lifted him up into the air and tried to back out of the forge, unfortunately backing into work stations and causing them to crash to the ground. She turned in shock to check on the tables, and as she did the little one managed to wiggle his way out of his removable skin and fall, headfirst, to the ground. Fortunately a pile of work aprons caught him as he bounced to the ground, and the little boy lost no time in scampering away, now only clad in his tiny boots.

Stormfly dropped the removable skin and darted after the young. It was not going to escape again.

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><p>Toothless was following the squashed flowers and muddy footprints of the smallest human through the woods behind the Haddock home. In the distance he could hear a tiny voice singing cheerfully as she adventured through whatever she had been discovering. Toothless, nonetheless, was having an inordinately difficult time tracking her down. It was almost as though she started to go one direction, got distracted, and then went another. She was worse than a Terrible Terror chasing a spark of light.<p>

"I fan da dwagon undar the staar," Toothless did not understand any of the words the human was singing, and it was not helping him uncover her whereabouts. "Der was a daddy and a mommy and der was a Finn and dey were wit the Addie and da—oooh…" The singing cut off suddenly as the child obviously had found something to occupy her again. Toothless hoped desperately she was not going to leave that distraction for a while.

Suddenly there was a loud SNAP, a terrified scream, and Toothless realized his wish had probably just been granted, albeit not how he had expected.

He raced after the crying voice as quickly as he could.

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><p>Stoick awoke in the fiery haze of the healer's hut, and sat up. For a moment he was not one hundred percent certain what had awoken him. His head was throbbing, the room was spinning, and he had the distinct impression that the herbs the healer had given him to help with his cold (which she had called "pneumonia") had done more than give him a little extra pep for the day. In fact, he was going to have to have a word with her about lying to a chief. He was certain he had told her he did not have time for a sick day.<p>

He swung his legs off the edge of the bed where he had been sleeping when a loud squawk outside the window caught his attention. He looked up just in time to see a blur of pink and brown disappear beyond the frame, followed by a rapid and angry sounding blur of blue. He shook his head to clear his vision, just in time to catch the blur again.

"Did I really just-by Thor…" he muttered. He could have sworn his grandson, stark naked and covered in mud, was running through the plaza pursued by a ruffled looking Nadder. He shook his head slowly. Maybe he did need the sick day.

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><p>Stormfly was doing her best to herd the small human back towards its pen, but it was doing its best to elude her flapping wings and nudging beak. He dodged under wagons, raced through the open doors of homes (and leaving behind evidence she wasn't certain the inhabitants would enjoy). One elderly couple sitting down for lunch had to endure his parading through their home almost three times. Stormfly would stick her head in, caw indignantly, and try to squeeze through the furniture which was still standing before he rushed out through the back door. She was beginning to tire, and her patience had long since run out.<p>

The little boy had stopped to splash his hands in the excess water and mud that had gathered in one resident's flowerpot. She crept up behind him slowly, holding her breath in so as to not alert him to her presence. Slowly, slowly… her head lowered so it was beneath his backside and then, quickly before he could escape, she snapped her head up, tossing the little boy with a startled "oof" into the air. Taking to wing immediately, she grabbed his ankles with her feet, her talons clamped around the last of the removable skin. It was time to go home. No arguments. For once, the child seemed to be too busy cheering to notice.

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><p>Toothless followed the screaming sobs to a large, high tree by a clearing in the forest. Looking up, he spotted the little girl suspended, flailing, in a dragon trap. It was strangely reminiscent of another time a blond human had become trapped in a net, and Toothless, just relieved she was no longer mobile, was almost tempted to leave her there until his human could control her. However, the dragon's pity won out, and he rescued the crying child. He climbed the tree nimbly to the top to take a closer look at the contraption. He had the strange feeling shooting it from beneath may end up being slightly dangerous—unless of course this child had been meant to look more like Gobber than Astrid in limb count. When the young noticed the dragon climbing the tree, she quieted down a little and seemed to reach out to grab him.<p>

"Toofwess" she said. He paused and looked at the child. Neither of the young had ever said his name before. He felt a strange swelling of pride within him. He crooned gently and reached out and nudged the little girl with his nose. She rubbed his nose enthusiastically. "Toofwess come." She stated.

He pulled back and focused his eyes on the rope. After a quick calculation, Toothless gathered his plasma and spat a small blast of it at the rope, cleanly severing it in two. The little girl let out a screech of fear as the net plummeted towards the ground, but the descent was stopped almost immediately by Toothless' strong jaws snapping around the top of the net. She dangled beneath him as he slowly backed down the tree.

He put her down only for a moment, during which she tried to stand from within her encumbering confines. He looked around the forest quickly, trying to regain his bearings before gathering the child up again and heading home. He hoped beyond hope that Stormfly had captured the other young.

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><p>Stoick was feeling a little woozy, but well enough to stumble towards Gobber's workshop to find out what had happened while he was sleeping. He was beginning to become concerned about the distinct lack of people in the village. Even his earlier hallucination, as bizarre as it had been, had not worried him half as much as this. Unfortunately for him, just as he had finally convinced himself thoroughly that he had been hallucinating, a familiar giggle caught his attention. From above.<p>

He looked up almost straight into the familiar, albeit upside down face of his grandson as Stormfly flew him overhead.

"Yep," he said slowly, turning around to return to the healer's house. "Still naked. Shouldn't have gotten out of bed."

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><p>Stormfly and Toothless arrived back at the Haddock residence at around the same time. They shared a meaningful look as if to ask what had happened to the other, as they were both now dirty, distinctly worse for wear, and carrying a young who was far too pleased with themselves for their current condition. After a moment, they both decided quite decisively that they did not really want to know. They squeezed in the door and headed to the playpen, where they deposited their charges and pushed the gate back closed.<p>

Toothless collapsed with a thump on the right side of the pen, curling closely around it. Stormfly turned momentarily to emit a series of spikes before the gate so that even if the children had possessed the energy to escape again they would have been unable. She then also lay down beside the pen, and between them the two dragons completely enwrapped the pen.

Though sleepy, both dragons stayed awake enough to tell whether or not the children were about to do something risky (or rather Finn, as Adrianna was rather well ensconced), they both managed to make out the sound of their humans approaching in the distance. They seemed to be having a pleasant conversation in excited tones.

"I think we learned quite a bit about Whispering Deaths today. Like that they are attracted to the noise of singing Terrible Terrors."

"Good something in the village is," Astrid replied wearily. "Once they learn how to do it, they never shut up."

"True." Hiccup replied. "But it's good that Magnus escaped with only a few minor injuries, and, you know… the gaping hole in her shoulder."

"She'll be fine, and in any case, scars are cool. I mean, look at the gaping hole in your leg."

"Ha, ha." Hiccup replied sarcastically. "Thank you. I do take it as a sign of my most rugged Vikingness." There was a brief pause. "Why is there a shirt out here?"

"Hmm?" Astrid seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Must have come off the laundry some time during the night. It looks like one of Finn's." She went to investigate as Hiccup opened the door.

"Come on, guys, you know you aren't supposed to be near the kids. They may pull your spikes out, or try and pry open your mouths and—well, that's different." At that moment the dragons had backed wearily from the pen and Hiccup had finally caught sight of his sleeping offspring beyond them.

" I guess I'll just have to rewash it with whatever he's wearing now," Astrid said as she came through the door, closing it behind her (she was very paranoid about the children running outside without supervision).

"His birthday suit?"

"His what? No—oh… Well," she looked at Finn feeling rather perplexed. "I guess that needs washing too."

Hiccup and Astrid stood quietly looking at their children, almost too tired and shocked to be able to respond. Finally Hiccup thought that the obvious should be asked, "Why is our daughter in a dragon trap?"

"And why is our son naked?"

"And better question," a voice boomed through the open window, "why were your son's skivvies in my workshop?"

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><p><em>This was so much fun. I cannot wait to share the third part with you as well. We're working on the second story and every time either one of us really thinks about how ridiculous the plot is, we start laughing. It's that funny. I hope my incredibly depressing <em>_Little Miracles__ chapter has been slightly redeemed._

_~KateMarie999_


	3. Talons and Toddlers Part Three

_Yet another chapter that was a real joy to write!_

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><p><strong>Talons and Toddlers<br>****Part Three**

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><p>The diaper was a <em>little<em> worse for wear. By a little, this meant a gaping hole through both pants and undergarment. In other words, completely ruined.

Astrid and Hiccup responded naturally, as most parents would when faced with this phenomenon. They stared, open mouthed, at their son's clothes before turning to face the playpen again.

"What did you DO?!" Astrid said in a sudden flurry to grab her son and inspect his bottom. "That looks like Stormfly's beak—but she'd never, but there's no way, but… but… there's no mark so I guess we'll never know _what_ he did!"

Stormfly nodded, perfectly happy for her human to not ever know what methods she had resorted to so as to return the young unscathed.

Hiccup had managed to undo the mechanism entrapping Adrianna. The little girl toppled, sleepy, but still extremely happy out into her father's arms. As she snuggled into his neck, Hiccup saw another thing which made his heart leap into his throat. There were holes—no, _teeth marks_ in his little girl's shirt. And they looked mysteriously like…

"Toothless."

The dragon opened his eyes wearily and focused on his human with a soft coo. Hiccup pulled the shirt up to first inspect his child's back (no bite marks, check) before beginning his interrogation.

"Why," he started slowly, "why are there… why would you do this?"

The dragon jumped up by the window, stuck his head out and meaningfully looked straight at the offending bridge. Hiccup walked over and followed Toothless' gaze.

"I don't understand. Could you… mime it for me or something?"

Toothless' head plates fell flat on his head as a look of irritation crossed over his features. He turned and returned to where he had been napping.

"Okay… I'll just think about it for a bit, shall I?" Hiccup inspected his daughter's back again. No wounds, some dirt, and what appeared to be dried dragon saliva. "Aaah, that's just great." He groaned. "That'll take a while to come out."

Toothless shot his human a scathing look. Great way to be ungrateful.

"Strip her. Time for a bath." Astrid was already filling the tub with the buckets they had set aside for that evening.

"Never words I like to hear," Gobber said, having now entered the house and collapsed at the table. "Looks like your son has inherited Hiccup's art skills."

Astrid and Hiccup, hands full of toddler, both turned their heads to inspect it. Astrid sighed. "He's been preparing for his bath all day by the looks of it, and he was mighty busy doing so. Painting the table, playing in mud, visiting Gobber's workshop—"

"Destroying my workshop more like. The entire place has been turned upside down. It looked like a full-scale dragon attack happened in there." The parents eyed their dragons again suspiciously. Gobber continued, "and then of course he left his skivvies by the furnace."

That took a moment to sink in. "THE FURNACE?!" Astrid's face began to change color in shock. She plunged the little boy into the water and began scrubbing, desperately seeking singe marks. Finn began screaming at the top of his little lungs (which had amazing lung capacity when he decided to use them), in sharp protest to his freezing washing.

"Umm… Astrid, I think it's cold…" Hiccup said awkwardly. Astrid fixed him with a glare which was probably about the same temperature as the water.

"Shut up." She glanced to Toothless across the room, "a little help?"

The dragon still looked rather peeved, and refused to give too much attention to the scene. He spat a fast spark at the fire pit beneath the tub, and it ignited with a white flame. He then turned his back on the family to continue stewing in peace.

The door swung open once again as Stoick ambled in. "Kids, you will never imagine what happened today," he began.

"Well, I think at this point we're willing to believe anything." Hiccup deadpanned.

"I went to the healer and she knocked me out with these incredible herbs that made me see things…"

"See things?" Astrid echoed incredulously.

"You went to the healer?" Hiccup added. "Voluntarily?"

"Finn was running throughout Berk naked, being chased by that Nadder of yours, Astrid." He took a seat next to Gobber. "When I went outside she had him by the ankles and was flying him around town. What happened to this table?"

"I don't think that was a hallucination, Dad…" Hiccup said slowly. Astrid was now inspecting Finn's feet for claw marks.

"Especially if these holes in his boots are any evidence," Gobber added helpfully. Hiccup took the boots to examine them next to Stormfly's talons. They fit.

"Well, that's one mystery solved." Hiccup tossed the boot into the pile of ruined clothing that had appeared by the tub. "Only about a hundred or so left."

"What other mysteries?" Stoick asked.

"Well, we start with how they got out of their playpen. Then there's the question of with why Addie was in a net. And why there was a gaping hole in Finn's skivvies—"

"He was crawling into the furnace in Gobber's workshop." Astrid offered. The room all turned their attention to her. There was a moment of silence.

"Well, that's going to give me nightmares." Hiccup said.

"Me too," Gobber added. "Charred child is not one of my favorite workshop decorations."

Hiccup's face paled a little. "I don't think that's helping, Gobber," Stoick murmured.

"No, no, that mental image is now firmly ingrained into my mind. I don't think I will ever erase it from my subconscious." Hiccup glanced back out the window. "We also don't know why there are teeth marks on the back of Addie's shirt, and all Toothless will do if you ask is look at the—oh my. Oh, oh, my." A horrible thought flitted through Hiccup's mind. "I think I suddenly want to do some construction."

"Construction?" Stoick tried to imagine this.

"Yes, childproofing. The bridge."

Astrid made a strangled noise. "No!"

"Oh, yes. Addie almost went for a swim. Off the bridge. Into the rocks." Hiccup swung his arms awkwardly as he tried to cope with this mental image. "Another thing I will see in my dreams tonight. But, Toothless," the dragon looked up, now a little more pleased as the human was catching on, "Toothless must have grabbed her, so… so… she isn't dead."

Adrianna giggled at this moment, and began to splash the water in the tub. Stoick decided to summarize events up until this point, "So, your children escaped from the house, one went mud-diving and then tried to become one with the furnace, before running through the village stark naked, and the other attempted to learn to dive before wandering into a forgotten netter trap."

"Yes, yes, I think that is exactly what happened," Astrid was now drying the children in an almost amazingly overprotective fashion. Was it possible to smother them with yak's fur accidentally?

Hiccup crossed the room to where the dragons were. "I feel like we should be really thankful right now for our dragons. I mean, if they weren't there then who knows what would have happened. Bud, just… sorry, for being so…"

"Accusatory?" Astrid suggested.

"Dense?" Gobber added.

"Thank you for summing that up." Hiccup turned back to the dragon, who looked a little too gleeful at his rider's expense at that moment. "But, yeah, thank you. For being there. And saving her. And you too, Stormfly, for protecting Finn. You both are… lifesavers. Literally."

"But the real question is how they got out." Gobber interrupted the scene. "I mean, Hiccup made that pen himself."

Everyone turned their eyes on the young father. He looked quickly from one accusing face to another. "Now, come on," he started over to where the pen was to inspect it. "It looks fine. I mean, I made this with the finest materials, and it's my own design. It's as solid as a rock." He patted it affectionately. The lock immediately popped open and the door swung out to where Stormfly's spikes were blocking it. "Okay, I admit, there may have been a few flaws in the design."

Astrid rolled her eyes slightly at this. Gobber released a loud guffaw of amusement as he stood up to slap Hiccup affectionately (or as Hiccup thought of it, violently) on the back. "Well, I can take care of it for you if you'd like. You should have come to me in the first place, Hiccup. I have lots of experience building gates. I even built the gate on your playpen."

Stoick cut in, "A lock which never worked."

"It did. You just didn't listen properly when I was explaining it. You can be a little hard of hearing sometimes."

"Story of my life," Hiccup muttered.

"What was that?" Stoick had barely caught the words, but knew fairly well what had been said.

Hiccup turned back to the pen. "Well, I guess I could tweak it a bit," he said slowly.

"A _bit_?" Astrid replied. "I want it to look and function like a prison. Give it to Gobber."

"I actually built prison gates once…" Gobber trailed off.

"Yes, it took me a while to figure that out," Stoick remarked. "I should show that to you one day."

Finn suddenly tugged on Astrid's arm and announced, "Mommy, hungry."

Astrid sighed. "I guess you would be after streaking all over the island."

"In more ways than one," Gobber added helpfully, earning a glower from Astrid.

"Time for lunch. Gobber, can you take that pen and fix the gate for us as soon as possible?"

"Sure. I'll be back tonight." Gobber folded the wooden pen up in a moment and put it under his arm. "I'd better start working on it before Finn decides to visit again."

"I should be going too," Stoick stood and accompanied Gobber out the door. "Even without hallucinations, I need to lie down for a while."

The parents, now left alone with their children, had a surreal moment of silence once the two older men had disappeared, wherein they attempted to find words now that everything had been explained.

"Well," Hiccup began awkwardly. "I guess I should go get the fish. Yeah…"

The twins, now sitting on the yak rug by the hearth, still swaddled in their drying cloths, giggled mischievously. Both parents had a strange feeling they would be staying home with their children for the rest of the foreseeable future.

* * *

><p>Hiccup reached out to take the pen from Gobber's arms, a little shinier by the gate than it had been the last time. The instant the older Viking released it, Hiccup found himself hunched over, face nearly at the floor.<p>

"Wow, um," he pulled his good foot out from under the now incredibly heavy contraption, "I see you've made some adjustments."

"Improvements more like. Your little terrors can't get out of this gate." He patted it affectionately. What had earlier been a simple turn lock was now a rather elaborate looking mechanism of bolts, spring-loaded pins, and latches.

"So… How do we open it?" Hiccup said slowly.

"Oh, it's easy. Well, not easy enough for the babies to figure out, but certainly nothing for the great inventor Hiccup!" Gobber removed a mallet and a long peg from his belt, which he then hammered into the soft dirt floor where the playpen had sat earlier. "Just bring it over here, lad."

Hiccup, who could barely move the heavy gate, strained to drag it across the floor. In fact he was going so painfully slowly that Astrid went to join him. Between the two of them they still only just managed to haul it to Gobber's side. As soon as it reached him, Gobber went about stationing the gate.

"This is the same design I used for your playpen, Hiccup." Gobber said proudly. "I found the designs on the mess on my floor. I hadn't been able to find them for years." Gobber tested the lock and the gate swung open easily. "It shouldn't take too much practice to get used to it." He closed it again. "Why don't you try it?"

Hiccup stepped up to the gate. The whole area by the lock was now reinforced with iron. A large rectangular locking mechanism took up the first third or so of the gate, which had a series of three latches to be flipped open, as well as a handle. At the bottom of the gate, a metal stopper had been dug into the floor, which needed to be pulled up before the door would open. Hiccup went about opening the latches, and pulling open the stopper, but even then when he grabbed the handle he found that the gate would not open.

"Uh, Gobber," he said slowly.

"Hiccup, you're doing it all wrong," Gobber announced, clapping the young man on the back for the second time that day (Astrid would discover bruises from this later). "You have to press the button and then pull."

Gobber put the tip of his hook on a painfully small button on the top of the lock box. Hiccup felt the locking mechanism give way.

"Yeah, that was completely obvious." He hauled back on the handle, but the gate refused to budge.

"Put your back into it!" Gobber cheered. Hiccup took the handle by both hands and pulled with all his might. The door crept a few centimeters out of its frame. At that point, Astrid grabbed her husband's elbows and added her strength to the battle. The door was now opened about three inches—still not wide enough for a child to fit through.

"Hmm… I didn't think the spring-loaded hinges created that much force." Gobber said thoughtfully. Toothless helpfully grabbed the back of Astrid's skirt and pulled. Hiccup and Astrid slid across the floor as the gate came open. The twins were giggling at the spectacle from the corner of the room where they had been playing.

"Well, that wasn't overkill at all." Hiccup said, releasing the door. It snapped shut with alarming speed.

"No kid is ever going to escape this baby. I've named her Edna. It sounds like a nursemaid for some reason."

Hiccup and Astrid both fitted Gobber with their most astonished look. "I am so glad I am not being kept in the prison you built locks for." Astrid said finally.

Gobber glowed at this assumed praise.

"Well, gee, Gobber," Hiccup began slowly. "I think that, maybe… we might have some trouble with this gate. Seeing as it takes practically the whole family to open it."

"You'll get the hang of it." Gobber said cheerfully. "It just takes some practice. At least you'll never have to worry about accidents with Edna on the lookout." He turned and headed to the door. "You'll thank me later. A worry free childhood is worth the investment of a few afternoons of practice. I'd better get going though. I left the furnace running."

"So…" Hiccup looked at Astrid inquisitively. "What do you say to putting this in storage until they're going through puberty?"

Astrid smiled. "We can just put them in overtop. So long as they don't learn to climb over it, it shouldn't really be an issue. And Gobber is right; it's nice to know they can't get out without us here."

Hiccup cast a look at the gate. "Well, I guess that's true."

* * *

><p>"And we never did figure out how to open that gate easily." Hiccup said. The twins stared at the gate, and then back at their father.<p>

"How did you put it upstairs?" Finn finally asked.

"Your grandfather. And Gobber. We let them do the heavy lifting."

"The _really_ heavy lifting." Astrid clarified.

The twins stared at the gate incredulously. Finally Finn piped up, "I never ran around Berk naked."

"Yeah, you two are exaghertat-exagglebate-making it up."

Hiccup smiled fondly at his daughter. "Well, you all can ask Gobber."

"Or the elderly couple who confirmed the location of Finn's mole." Astrid suggested.

Finn turned pink as his sister giggled. "I still don't believe it," he said firmly.

The door suddenly banged open as Gobber came in to collect the gate. "Hello, Haddocks!" He said. "Ah, Edna, old thing! It's been such a long time. You know, this reminds me," he turned to Finn, "did I ever tell you about the time you ran around Berk in nothing but your booties?"

Finn scowled as his face reddened further. "Shut up!" he cried as he stomped up the stairs towards his room. A moment later is slammed shut.

"Did I say something wrong?" Gobber asked Hiccup with great concern.

"No, no, he's just… going through an awkward phase. Early."

"Well, maybe he'll be like you, Hiccup. You're still in an awkward stage." Gobber gathered the pen up under his arms.

After Gobber had left, Astrid shared a meaningful look with her husband. "You know, I'm almost going to miss Edna," she said. "We had a lot of good memories with that thing."

"Yeah," Hiccup began sarcastically, "and a lot of injuries. I think I threw my back out trying to open that thing."

"It did its job pretty well, though." Astrid continued. "They never did escape it again."

"That we know of."

"And it survived to be given to a new family." Astrid finished.

Hiccup stared at the empty place where the playpen had stood. "Are you sure we shouldn't have kept that for when they go through puberty?"

"Hiccup…" Astrid half sighed, half laughed.

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?" The two adults had almost forgotten the presence of their daughter. "What's puberty?"

They exchanged a look.

"I think that's a topic for another time." Astrid said hurriedly. Hiccup had begun to change color in a similar way to Finn.

"But when will we go through it? What happens?" Adrianna continued to pry.

Hiccup's face was decidedly hot by now, and he decided that this was the time to make his getaway. "You know, Astrid, I… I have… that thing. Yeah, I have that thing I have to go do… in the place. Where there are things. To do."

"Coward!" Astrid called after her retreating husband as he disappeared out of the house, followed quickly by his dragon. She could hear them taking off outside.

"But moooooom!"

He was going to pay for leaving her with this.

* * *

><p><em>I hope you enjoyed this short story! The next one is already written and quite hilarious. Like I said, this is not meant to be dramatic! a<em>_**myboomerang**__ and I are having a great time!_

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	4. The Iron Pants

_This story is a treat for those who have read __Unexpected__. It takes place between the birth and the Welcoming Ceremony. Kind of an in-between tale._

* * *

><p><strong>A Few Tweaks: The Iron Pants<strong>

* * *

><p>"Mom's gonna love this," Finn announced proudly as he looked over his creation. He had spent the last several hours painstakingly sanding down the rough edges of the small wooden weapons rack before he had given it to his sister to paint. Their father had come to them only about a week before to remind them of their mother's upcoming birthday. "But why'd you have to go and make it all <em>girly<em>?"

"It's not _girly_, and in any case mom's a girl!" Adrianna retorted. The weapons rack was a beautiful, bright baby blue, and decorated with small rose colored polka dots. "Where should we put it so she sees it when she comes back?"

Finn furrowed his brow in deep thought. His bright blue eyes scanned the room for a perfect location. Somewhere it would be seen the moment his mother returned from her outing to the Academy.

"Over there." he said at last, pointing to a window close to the front door. The only things currently occupying the space were a pair of ugly, oddly shaped metal flowerpots containing wilting herbs. "Then she can grab her weapons before she goes out."

Adrianna brightened at this prospect and immediately ran to the location. She was too short to reach the place her brother had pointed out but she wasn't about to let _that_ stop her. Standing on tiptoe, she strained her body as far as it would reach. She was still several inches short of her goal.

"Get me something to stand on!" she grunted, trying to raise the rack just a little bit higher.

Finn immediately grabbed the first object he saw: a rickety old bucket that was missing a small piece of its brim. This, he reasoned, was the perfect stair for his sister. He flipped it upside down and pushed it to her feet. She immediately stood on it and strained even more to hang the weapons rack on a nail in the wood. A little higher… a little more…

"Mom's coming!" Finn shouted, his eyes focused on his mother's flying form coming into view outside the window. Toothless, who was watching them from the far corner of the room, stood in response to the rising excitement in Finn's voice. "Hurry up!"

"Don't rush me!" Adrianna snapped irritably.

Just as she finally managed to hang the rack, she took a small step back and the bucket toppled over. Her arms flailed about, desperately trying to grab onto something to support her weight, but they only managed to find one of the metal flowerpots, which she knocked in front of the door. Toothless lunged forward just in time to catch her on his nose before she hit the floor.

This was the sight which met Astrid as she opened the door: her daughter resting, one foot on a broken bucket, body leaning backwards across a dragon's head; the sound of her son's raucous laughter; and the contents of a flowerpot strewn across the floor.

"Well, I see that you all have had a quiet morning." Astrid commented as she stepped over the mess into her house. A sudden glint of silver caught her attention, and she stooped to remove something from the mess. "Why is there an axe head in my flower pot?" Had she been looking his way, she may have noticed Finn cock his head in what could only be described as baffled recognition. Adrianna straightened herself and ran to hug her mother. Right before she reached her, the girl's foot caught on the flowerpot and she tripped into her mother's arms.

"Yep, you are definitely your father's child." Astrid deadpanned as she caught her daughter.

"That hurt! Why is it so heavy?" Adrianna asked, rubbing her sore foot.

Finn walked over and picked up the indestructible home garden. It featured an oddly squished oval opening at the top, and expanded into a wider base. A thick leather piece at the bottom of the container had flipped over in the fall, revealing two rather sizable holes and a metal covered water drain.

"Mom," he asked slowly, "what are these big holes for? Roots?"

Astrid had to stifle a sudden laugh as she looked over at what her son what inspecting. Over the years she had forgotten about the awkward matching contraptions she had re-imagined as flowerpots.

"Unfortunately not," she replied, taking it from him and turning it over in her hands, allowing the memories to well up. "These actually were for legs."

"_Legs?!_" The twins managed to say this in unison, both utterly aghast at the idea.

"What could fit legs in that?" Finn asked.

"What would wear that?" Adrianna countered.

"Well…" Astrid began slowly, "it was actually a present from your father for my birthday right after you were born."

"Daddy gave you flowerpots?" Adrianna had a hard time imagining her father presenting her mother with something so mundane, not to mention… housewife-ish.

"No,_ I_ gave me flowerpots. Your father gave me something… different."

Finn wrinkled his nose slightly. "But you said—"

Astrid gestured to the couch along the far wall. "Sit down, you'll enjoy this." She grabbed a separate chair and sat down with the flowerpot in front of them, ready for storytelling. "Now, you two may not know this, but after you were born we spent about two weeks staying with the healer while you were growing and I was healing. During that time, your father…"

* * *

><p>Hiccup's hands were still cold from washing them in the bucket of icy water beside the table in the healer's hut. He was tempted to put them on his sleeping wife to warm them, but even still sore and immobile from her traumatic birthing the week before she could pack a mean punch. He made do by wrapping the bandage that had been around his left hand pre-washing around both. So long as he was careful not to jostle the fractured bone in his hand, he should be able to have a comfortable night. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep a loud, screeching wail echoed through the hut.<p>

"Hiccup…" Astrid moaned.

"No, that would be Finn." Hiccup replied, pulling his cold hands back from within the warm bandages. "Because I just finished cleaning his sister up he decided it was obviously his turn."

"Well, you know that parents aren't supposed to play favorites," Astrid muttered, snuggling back into the bed. "He's going to wake up half the village."

"Yes, waking up only me would just show a total lack of ambition for a future chief. Leadership runs in his veins, so he should start off life bringing the whole village together at the crack of dawn."

Hiccup pulled his screaming son from the crib in the center of the room and headed into the larger healing room in the center of the hut, where he could close the door and leave his wife in some peace. A low fire was still burning in the center of the room, and he could hear the elderly healer snoring in the room adjacent. He placed the baby on the table they had been using for changing diapers and began to untie the knots holding the wrap in place.

"It's like the two of you plan to do this," he continued his quiet tirade. "Within seconds of each other, I swear." He pulled the dirty diaper out from under his son, began cleaning him, and trying to center him on the clean diaper laid out for him. "I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this, how long has it been now… A few days, no, wait, it's been…" He paused suddenly as realization rushed over him, "it's been a week, little guy! Happy firstweekday! No, wait, that doesn't sound right."

The baby cooed and wiggled excitedly on the new diaper. "Yeah, that's right," Hiccup said cheerfully, smiling at the little boy, "celebrate! You've made it a whole week with me changing these disgusting things. Not to mention having me and Astrid as your parents, well, Astrid is—" He froze suddenly. "Having a birthday. Tomorrow, actually. I was a little preoccupied with your birthday that, I totally—oh dear." He started drumming his fingers on the table anxiously. He only had twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea for his wife's first married birthday, not to mention parental birthday, and create it, and… Oh dear. "What should I do? I mean, what do you think she'd like? I mean other than weapons, but frankly I think we have enough weapons. Actually, I feel like giving her more weapons might be dangerous. What about something to do with, you know, becoming a parent? Something that would be meaningful to this new adventure, this new… Do you have any ideas, Finn?" He leaned down over his son just in time for something wet and very warm to hit him full on in the face.

"Oh gross. That was… just… oh gross." He wiped his face off with another diaper from the clean pile in the corner of the table. "Well, thank you for your suggestion Finn, but I think that we've had enough of that. Oh, gross. I definitely need a bath now. And I definitely can't go back to bed."

After Hiccup had managed to get Finn cleaned up and put back in his crib, he headed out into the dawning day to begin drawing water for a bath, still muttering to himself.

"If that is any indication of my future experiences as a parent, then there has got to be an easier way to deal with this. This is exhausting." He pulled off his night shirt and dunked his head and upper body into the water, trying to scrub away any remains of his son's suggestion.

Suggestion.

Wait.

Hiccup yanked his head out of the water as quickly as he had plunged it in. He had an idea. A brilliant, completely foolproof idea. Without even bothering to go inside and find a clean tunic, he turned on his remaining heel and bolted off across the village, not stopping until he had barged into Gobber's home.

"Gobber!" He shouted as he came through, forgetting himself completely in his excitement. "Gobber, I have a wonderful idea, but I need your help because of my hand!"

He heard something flying through the air towards him, and a moment later there was a dull _thud_ as an axe imbedded itself into the wall next to his head. Immediately afterward, a gruff hand came out of the near darkness and grabbed him around the neck. "Eeeck! Gobber! Gobber! I can't breathe!"

Gobber, still half-asleep, seemed to come to some realization that the strange bluish blob in front of him was actually Hiccup's face, and relinquished his hold of the young man's neck. "Great Thor, Hiccup, what were you trying to do, sneaking up a man in his skivvies?"

"Well… that was an awkward question…" Hiccup rubbed his neck. For only possessing one hand, Gobber still could manage to throttle relatively well.

"So what was it you wanted so much you had to wake a man up?" Gobber asked, thunking across the room to find an appropriate hand for the day.

"I had a brilliant idea. Get dressed and come to the forge, I need your help with something."

"I could say the same to you. What are you all wet and naked for?"

"Nak—oh, I forgot to put another shirt on. Yeah. You don't want to know." Gobber raised an eyebrow in a mischievous way, "No, not that, it was Finn, and, yeah, it was messy."

"Ah, well, I think similar things used to happen to your father," Gobber stated patiently as he began to screw on a hook, "there was this one time I was put in charge of changing you at a war meeting because your father said—"

"No, no, I just don't even want to hear this story." Hiccup interrupted. "I'm just going to, yeah, go get a shirt. I'll meet you in the forge."

Gobber yawned and began to prepare for the day as the door closed behind his former apprentice. This was going to be-

* * *

><p>"Genius. Your husband is a genius, Astrid."<p>

Astrid cocked her head inquisitively from where she was sitting up in her bed, still cradling Adrianna in her arms and using her foot to rock the bedside cradle in which Finn was drifting off to sleep. She had just finished nursing Adrianna when Gobber and Hiccup had burst into the room after being locked up for almost a full day at the forge. She was feeling distinctly annoyed.

"Where have you _been_? Bed empty, no note, prosthetic gone, out of my _mind_ with worry! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III you'd better have a brilliant explanation for this one!"

Hiccup suddenly felt rather small and distinctly threatened. "Yeah, uh, about that… I had an idea." He found it difficult to look at his seething wife all of the sudden.

"You mean an idea _other_ than abandoning me with your week old children?!"

"Yeah, another idea, not that, no, wait, I didn't have that idea to begin with, this is a totally separate and completely non-abandoning idea."

Astrid was not convinced. Hiccup was beginning to feel as though this may not go exactly as he had anticipated. "Well, umm, I bet you don't remember what today is!" He began.

"My birthday."

"Oh, so you do remember."

"Yes, I do generally remember my birthday, Hiccup." Astrid's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, well, I thought maybe with the other birthdays it had slipped your mind…" He almost felt disappointed.

"I was planning on apologizing to my mother when she came by today. Then I was going to ask her to babysit while I tracked down and killed my errant husband."

"Can we not do the killing part?" Hiccup asked, definitely feeling quite sheepish at this point. "In any case, I really think that you're going to like this idea. It will totally make up for… my… leaving… Not that I'm leaving you, but for not returning, and… And… Gobber, just give me the present."

Gobber, who had backed up to allow the couple more privacy for their bickering, stepped forward, carrying with him two fabric wrapped packages. He handed one to Hiccup and turned again to Astrid, "You really are going to like this, I think, Astrid. It's a stroke of—"

"Genius. I heard."

Hiccup stepped forward with the package out in front of him like an offering and placed it on her lap before leaping out of the way, just in case. Astrid lifted Adrianna up to her shoulder so that she could free one hand to tug the fabric wrapping out of the way.

"What... is it?" She asked slowly, looking at the oddly shaped metal… thing in her lap.

"It's a diaper." Hiccup said, rather proudly. "The only one we'll ever need!"

"Isn't it great?" Gobber interjected. "Hiccup thought of it himself."

"That doesn't surprise me," Astrid groaned. She lifted it inquisitively to get a better look and frowned a second afterward. "Hiccup, this thing weighs more than both our kids combined!"

"Well, we made it a bit big so they can grow into it some." He headed towards the crib. "Here, let me show you with Finn."

"NO!" Astrid dropped the "diaper" and lunged for the crib, grabbing the second baby out of it. Her hair fell haphazardly around her face as she held the two small bundles tightly to her chest. "You are _not_ going to put that _thing_ on either one of my children!"

"Oh, they're _your_ children now. Until just yesterday they were mine every time they needed their diapers changed."

"What on earth are you thinking?" Astrid spat at him.

"Come on, let me show you how it works—"

"Not on them!"

"Okay, then, just let me demonstrate on this… doll! Yeah, one second," he reached out and grabbed an almost life-sized baby doll which one of the women in the village had given as a present to Adrianna, and he deposited it within the metal contraption. "So, as you can see, this is what it looks like when it's on a baby, well, not a baby per se—"

"And how exactly are we going to fit clothes over that?" Astrid gestured to the gaping distance between the doll and the edge of the diaper. "It's huge!"

"They can just wear big clothes."

"And how will it stay on?" Astrid shot back.

"Well…" Hiccup looked at the loose diaper, knowing that if he shifted to holding the doll instead it would hit the ground like a rock. "We can work on that. Minor problem. I am open to suggestions."

"How about using _cloth diapers_?"

"Come on, just give it a try. It'll grow on you."

Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, the great thing about this is you never have to take them off. If they get dirty, you just wash them out from within. You see, there's a drain down here," he pulled a little switch on the back of the diaper, which caused a small piece of metal inside the diaper to pull up in the front, revealing a drain in the crotch of the diaper. "And then you can run water through it. Shake it a little bit, maybe add some soap. The baby gets a bath, the diaper gets cleaned—it does two things at once! Isn't that convenient? Not to mention, sanitary. Let me demonstrate…" He grabbed the nearest vessel of water and tipped into the diaper beside the doll. The drain worked perfectly, just as he had planned, but Astrid seemed more focused on the negatives of the diaper than the positives.

"It comes out the legs."

"Yeah, well, I mean, they did need to be a bit bigger so the twins can grow into them. We can put some leather or something around them to help… plug it up."

"And what do we do if the kids 'grow into them' too much and we cannot get them off anymore?" Astrid was still skeptical.

"Oh, well, I planned for that." Hiccup looked especially proud of this feature. "Give me one moment, you have to sort of jimmy this thing in the back… But just think, Astrid" he positively glowed at her, "they won't be able to get hurt if they fall on their bottoms while learning to walk, we won't have to deal with dirty diapers, bath times will be a cinch, I mean… this is perfect." There was a loud click as he set his escape hatch into motion, and the back of the diaper opened and slid to the side perfectly. However, the accomplishment was marred by an equally loud ripping noise as the doll's legs detached and fell to the floor. Astrid's eyes followed them in horror.

"You wanted to put _THAT_ on our children?! Do you want sympathy?!"

"Ah, well, no," Hiccup looked at the diaper in his hands awkwardly. The back panels had done as he had designed them to, and slid into the diaper, which, as a matter of fact, had bypassed and closed the leg holes completely, ripping off the doll's legs. "I guess there are a few kinks left to work out."

"A FEW?!" Astrid was enraged, and was clutching the two crying infants tightly to her chest. "They can't move in them—"

Hiccup interrupted, "Well, it does make it easier when they start crawling away to keep them in one place—"

"they will get sores from never being properly dried—"

"Well, we actually thought of attaching some sort of funnel and having the dragons—" Gobber tried to add in.

"they will get pinched, or fall out of them, or grow into them, and they'll lose their legs—"

"I'm pretty sure I can fix all of those!" Hiccup yelled, trying to get a word in edgewise.

"What in Thor's name convinced you that this was a good idea in _any way_?!" Astrid shouted over him. By this point both of the babies were crying rather frantically, and Gobber was the only person in the room who did not look like he was in the middle of battle.

Hiccup fell silent, feeling somewhat hurt. "I was just trying…"

"To _kill_ our children?!"

"To make things easier! You know, make it so that it was easier and we didn't get… peed on… or anything." Hiccup was struggling to get his thoughts out of his mouth, or even truly coherent within his head. He had gotten a rather pathetic amount of sleep since the twins had been born.

Astrid blinked in confusion. "If you're worried about… pee… then you just… put something up in front of him while you're changing him."

Hiccup's face fell. "Yeah… I guess… that does make sense."

There was an awkward silence punctuated by the wails of their newborns. Hiccup averted Astrid's gaze, feeling distinctly sheepish.

"Well... umm..." he finally said. "I guess I will go... uhh... work on your other gift." he shrugged awkwardly and shuffled into the other room.

Gobber felt a little out of place in the couple's argument so he handed the second diaper to Astrid with a gruff, "well I wouldn't put them on the kids yet but, you know, a few tweaks and..." Astrid was glaring at him now. "You know, he really was trying to be helpful."

Astrid sighed deeply. "I know. But does he have to try so... so..." she struggled to find the right word. "So _hard_?"

"That's just Hiccup. I'd'a thought you'd have known that when you married him." Gobber stated. "Well... I'll head back to the forge now. Happy birthday, Astrid. Goodbye, little guys."

The older Viking slunk out of the room, leaving Astrid with two crying babies and heavy metal contraptions for which she had no use. Just as the door seemed to close, it slammed back open as Hiccup flew in, a dagger outstretched.

"Gods, Hiccup, are you _trying_ to kill our children?" Astrid jerked back in surprise, holding both babies even closer to her chest.

"No! No! It's for you!" her husband exclaimed, brandishing the sharp object far too enthusiastically.

She placed the babies in their crib and reached out to accept the dagger. It was breathtakingly beautiful; the hilt was hand carved and engraved with her name and the tang was perfectly balanced.

"It's perfect." she gasped. "But either you're the fastest blacksmith in the world or you made this a while ago."

"Oh. Yeah. Well you remember that argument we had before the kids were born?" Hiccup scratched the back of his head. "The one where I lost my temper and said something completely inappropriate and offensive."

"Oh yes, I remember that. Vaguely." Astrid deadpanned.

"Right. Well I made that for you as an apology. But when I was looking to give it to you, I got a bit... distracted." Hiccup continued.

"By my kidnapping?"

"That was a contributing factor, yes." Hiccup shrugged. "And what with... things happening," he jerked his head toward the crib. "I kind of forgot until now."

"Well... I guess I can find _some_ use for these." Astrid said, gesturing toward the iron diapers.

"I knew you'd warm up to them!"

"As flowerpots." she finished.

"Oh... well... I guess that works too." Hiccup remarked.

She reached up, grasped him by the tunic, and pulled him in for a kiss. "Thank you. For trying."

* * *

><p>Both children were laughing uproariously as Astrid finished her story. She had held the former diaper up to demonstrate its multiple features as she reminisced.<p>

"Did daddy really think that was going to work?" Adrianna giggled, attempting to stifle her hiccups.

"Well... you guys kept him pretty busy so he didn't get a lot of sleep." Astrid explained, looking at the iron contraption fondly.

"So dad invented that diaper changing barrier... because of me?" Finn asked incredulously, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Oh yes. You went through a bit of a leaky phase until you were outhouse trained."

Adrianna's giggles grew louder, as did her hiccups while Finn's face reddened slightly.

At that very moment, Hiccup came sauntering in, his hands full of some new contraption that he had just completed. Upon seeing the main character in their story, his family's laughter became much more raucous.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked, glancing at each guffawing face.

"Oh I was just telling them about your original intention for our flowerpots." Astrid informed him.

"Oh... well thank you for undermining their confidence in me as a parent." Hiccup remarked dryly.

Adrianna hopped to her feet and threw her arms around her father. "It's okay, daddy. I still love you." she said cheerfully through yet another hiccup.

"I'm sure they love you even more since they can now appreciate still having both of their feet." Astrid added.

"Yes, thank you for bringing that up. I'd very nearly managed to bury that particular blunder in my subconscious." Hiccup placed the contraption down so he could properly hug his daughter. "For the record, Gobber still thinks it was a brilliant idea."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "That's why Gobber is not a parent."

"That reminds me, why doesn't Uncle Gobber babysit us anymore?" Finn asked.

"Well... that's a story for a different day." Hiccup smiled and affectionately patted his newest invention. "Now who wants me to turn this thing on and show you how it works?"

Both children screamed in horror and bolted from the room. Hiccup looked slightly offended. "But... but it's not dangerous! Not if you use it right!" he called after them but it was to no avail.

"It's okay. I just wanted them to leave us alone." Astrid pulled her husband in for a kiss.

"But you know, this is a pretty cool invention. I call it a stitching machine and it'll make saddle repair so much-"

"Hiccup!" Astrid shouted suddenly, making her husband jump.

"Huh?"

"Just shut up and kiss me." she whispered.

But just as he was leaning in, she pulled back. "Okay now you're just confusing me."

"What is that?" Astrid asked, looking at something just over his shoulder.

"I just told you, it's a stitching-"

"No, that. Above the window." Astrid pointed to the blue and pink object hanging above the remaining flowerpot.

Hiccup turned around to inspect the object. "Looks like a weapon's rack. But I didn't make it. And I sure didn't paint it those colors."

"Yeah, looks like Anna got her hands on... oh." Astrid smiled. "I think our kids made that for me."

"Wow!" Hiccup exclaimed, inspecting the rack further. "Look at the detail on that. They did a great job."

Astrid reached down and removed Hiccup's much more satisfactory present out of a sheath on her belt. She placed it on their children's masterpiece. The moment she let go of the dagger, the hook gave way and the weapons rack went clattering to the floor.

'Yep. They really _are_ your kids."

"Well I never thought they weren't but now I might worry about it some." Hiccup said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sure the rack just needs a few tweaks." Astrid winked at him and pulled him in for a kiss.

They later believed it was a good thing the kids weren't in the house.

* * *

><p><em>As you can probably tell, there are a few more Hiccup inventions on the way, some that work and some that don't. I hope you've enjoyed this story. <em>_**amyboomerang**__ and I laughed very hard while writing it._

_~KateMarie999_


	5. Grandma's Bonnet

_What happens when Gobber babysits? Quite a few things actually. To brand new future fans of mine, take a look at the references to __Under Pressure__ in this story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Gobber'd: Grandma's Bonnet<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ah, ah, ah, put the sword down, boy!" Gobber chided from the other side of the forge.<p>

"How'd you know I was holding it if you didn't turn around?" Finn asked with a scowl as he reluctantly obeyed.

"You're talking to the man who spent most days with your father when he was a little older than you. I see _everything_ that goes on in here." Gobber replied, still not looking up from his task. "Mind you, he was less likely _playing_ with the sword and more likely trying to turn it into something."

Adrianna grinned at the sight of her brother being scolded. She certainly had more common sense than that. Instead she started sorting through baskets of equipment under the workbench, looking for something to play with. Their parents had gone with the other grown-ups to search for a fishing boat that had not returned after the latest storm. With the freeze about to set in, they needed every fish and able bodied man available. Except for one. Gobber had been given babysitting duty. _Again._

Admittedly, he wasn't the worst babysitter, in fact he was great with kids, however he always felt a little overwhelmed when it came to watching the twins, though he wasn't certain if that was to do with the stress of nowadays or the traumatizing flashbacks of babysitting gone by. He was just going over to the other end of the forge to pry a mace out of his almost-great-nephew's fingers when the girl uncovered a suspicious, bright pink bonnet.

"Umm... Uncle Gobber... why do you have a girl's hat in your toolbox?" she asked, holding it up and inspecting it. "It has flowers in it."

Gobber crossed the room with amazing speed for a man of his age and snatched the offending article form her hands. "Now, you don't need to go looking at that."

"Oh." Adrianna's face fell. "Shouldn't you throw it away, then?"

"NO!" he exclaimed a little too quickly, holding the bonnet several feet over her outstretched arms.

"Is there something you need to tell us?" Finn said, acting a little _too _old for his age with his hands on his hips in a way that was strongly reminiscent of Astrid.

"No, I... you really don't remember this, do you?" Gobber asked, sounding, quite possibly, a little bit hurt.

Adrianna raised an eyebrow. "Should I?"

"Yes, considering I wore it every time I used to babysit you." Gobber replied with amazing nonchalance.

"Umm... why?" Finn asked, finally distracted from the dangerous weapons in the corner, albeit not in the way Gobber would have wanted.

Taking advantage of the opportunity to distract them from further mischief, Gobber gestured to a pair of stools by the door. Finn, still giving his almost-great-uncle a suspicious glance, slowly sat down on one while his sister hastened to the other, excited to hear another Uncle Gobber story.

"It was actually a lot like today. Your parents had to rush out because several Outcast ships had been spotted near our beaches. Your Poppy did what he always had done when your father was little. Dumped the kids on me." Adrianna's face fell. "Not that I minded, of course. I loved every second of it. Well... almost every second..."

* * *

><p>"Now they're not allowed to play with sharp objects." Astrid said, handing a wiggling Finn to Gobber.<p>

"Yes, I could have figured that much out myself." Gobber deadpanned, having a lot more trouble than he expected keeping the young boy in his arms.

"Well we wanted to make sure." Hiccup said. "Oh and they need to be tucked into bed by eight. Addie might fuss a bit but trust me, she'll fall asleep. Eventually."

"Do you really think you'll be gone that long?" Gobber asked incredulously.

"We aren't sure." Astrid dismissed his concern. "And by the way, they will tell you they are hungry right at bedtime. You can give them a little milk but don't let them have any solid food. Anna will be up all night and trying to tuck Finn into bed will become next to impossible."

"Got it." Gobber nodded. "You'd better go before those Outcasts get here."

"Right. Keep them safe. Don't let them go outside." Hiccup reminded his mentor. "You'll never find them. Remember last time?"

"Vividly. Trust me, I learned my lesson. Go." Gobber commanded, pointing a rather sharp looking hook at the door.

"Yeah. Umm, you might want to change hands. You're going to poke someone's eyes out." Hiccup said, eyeing the offending hook suspiciously.

"Not to worry! I have my special hammerhead yak attachment!" Gobber explained gleefully, grabbing a stuffed yak out of his bag.

"Okay. We'll just go now." Astrid raised an eyebrow at the attachment but decided not to comment. "Kids, be good for Gobber, okay?"

The two three-year-olds nodded quickly, and then dispersed to separate areas of the house to continue playing with what they had been playing with before their new guardian had arrived. In Adrianna's case, it was a soft doll with restitched legs; in Finn's case it appeared to be a pile of dirt that he was molding from one unremarkable blob to another. Gobber glanced from one quiet child to the other and smiled in a rather self-satisfied way. This was looking like a terribly easy way to spend an afternoon. He settled down on the couch and began flipping through the old, ratty Book of Dragons which Hiccup was constantly revising. The pages seemed so much more worn out since he had read it as a lad, and most of Hiccup's updated information was squeezed alongside the outdated pieces. He secretly wished he could tell Hiccup that if he left this book in the Great Hall, where it was meant to be stored, a little more often, then he would soon have the new copy which Stoick was working so meticulously on recreating for him as a gift.

Just as Gobber was getting to the pages on the Snap Trapper (which he still considered to be a rather dangerous beastie), he felt a tug on his hammerhead yak. Adrianna was standing before him, innocently eyeing his replacement limbs.

"Where did your hand go?" she asked.

Deciding that dismemberment was probably not the most suitable discussion topic with a three year old, Gobber replied "it fell off."

"How?"

"Well, it was an odd thing that. One day I woke up, and I just didn't have a hand anymore."

"What about your leg?" She continued unabashedly.

"Well, it felt awfully lonely without me hand, so it decided to go after it and try and convince it to come back. Then it didn't." Gobber explained.

Adrianna's mouth opened with a little "oooooh." She seemed to consider this for a moment. "Did daddy's leg fall off?"

Gobber nodded enthusiastically. "It just happens sometimes."

This was the wrong thing to say. Adrianna's eyes suddenly filled with fear. "Is my leg going to fall off too?"

"Eh?" Gobber felt like this was beginning to backfire. "No, of course not."

"But you said they fall off. Is my leg going to go where daddy's leg is?" Tears were now welling up to accompany the fear. "I don't want my leg to leave me! Don't let my leg leave me!"

"It's not going to leave you!" Gobber tried to reassure her between hiccups. "They don't just get up and leave, they have to... um..." He decided to change the subject. "Why, look at this! A hammerhead yak! Have I ever told you about the time I met a hammerhead yak?"

The trick did not manage to redirect the sobbing girl's attention. Gobber thought that expanding his audience a little might help to soothe her nerves. He turned to invite her twin to join her for the story only to realize that he was no longer in the corner now covered with mud balls. In fact, he was not in sight at all. He stood abruptly and searched the house desperately with his eyes, finally catching sight of the child teetering precariously on a makeshift set of steps made of books and buckets, reaching out to grab hold of a half-sharpened axe which had been abandoned on the table. Gobber lunged for the little boy, catching his hand just before it managed to close around the shaft of the weapon.

"Oh no you don't laddie." He hauled the boy off of the bucket and dropped him back on solid ground. "Now, I have a wonderful idea! Let's all play together for a little while. What do you want to play?"

"Wawior tackle!" Finn's arms wrapped firmly around both of Gobber's legs. "I've taught you!"

Deciding to play along, Gobber 'fell' to the ground, allowing the little boy to jump onto his chest to pin him to the floor. "Ack! I've been taken down! What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to... tickle you!" Finn did his best at tickling Gobber, though his lack of subtlety did nothing to actually irritate the older Viking's nervous system, and felt rather more like a muddy massage. Gobber pretended that the whole affair was torturous, and was happy when Adrianna decided to join in, poking him in the arm with a nervous giggle. The children entertained themselves with this pastime for a little while before tiring of it and deciding to change games.

"Let's play famiwy!" Adrianna said enthusiastically.

"Can I be the wawior?" Finn asked, grabbing a small wooden sword from the floor by the couch.

"I'll be da mommy." Adrianna agreed. Gobber nodded. This sounded like it would keep them occupied. Adrianna had begun to dig her own props out from various corners of the room, returning every once in a while with a spare doll (or baby, as she called them), until she finally returned with a pink bonnet.

"I fwound it." She announced happily. "Dis is for you, Unca Dobbew!"

"For me?" He asked incredulously.

"You'll be da Gwandma." Since Gobber was still sitting on the floor from the tickling game, she decided to help him into the bonnet by pulled it onto his head over his helmet. "Hmm," she backed up a little as she looked at it. "It doesn't look wight yet."

"Well, perhaps because I'm not a Grandma." Gobber offered hopefully. Adrianna shook her head and looked around the room, her eyes settling on the flowerpots in the window. "Unca Dobbew, can I have the fwowers?"

Gobber did not see any harm in letting her have a few of the many blooms pouring out of the containers, so he stood up and collected a handful of the flowers for her.

"Sit down." She directed. Gobber frowned a little, but did as he was told. The little girl went about tucking the flowers into the rim of the hat with great precision. "This is Grandma Dobbew's special hat that she got from the dwagon fairy. When she wears it she can fwy."

"I can fly now, can I?" Gobber said. "You know, Anna, I don't know what kind of games your father plays with you, but I really don't fit the role of a grandma."

Adrianna stuck her lower lip out in a pout, which fortunately for her Gobber misunderstood as the second coming of tears. He quickly reassessed his opinion of being the grandmother in Adrianna's family and announced his revised decision. Adrianna was thrilled.

"Now we hafta wock the baby!" Adrianna squealed in excitement. "And sing hew to sweep!"

Gobber wasn't so sure this was a good idea but he was even more sure that he didn't want his almost-grand-niece crying again. And so he reluctantly accepted the baby and began rocking it.

"You hafta sing!" Adrianna reminded him, crossing her arms.

"Oh. Of course. Umm... I've got me axe and I've got me mace and I love me wife her..."

"Not dat song! A wuwwaby!" Adrianna giggled.

"I'm a Viking. We don't sing lullabies" Gobber said, beginning to feel slightly awkward.

"Daddy sings dem." the girl said, sounding like she was explaining this to someone half her age.

"Yes well that's your father. He does all kinds of things Vikings don't do." Gobber rolled his eyes.

"So does Poppy. And Antie Wuffnut!" Adrianna cupped her hand near her mouth and whispered into Gobber's ear. "Her wuwwabies are scawy."

"Yes I'm sure they are." Gobber took a deep breath and faced the "baby" in his arms. "The dragon fairy wanted to climb a mountain tall..."

A loud hacking noise interrupted Gobber's off key and improvised lullaby. Finn was on his knees, half a plum still grasped tightly in his juice covered hands. Gobber immediately sprang to his leg and hobbled over to the choking child. Admittedly he had never dislodged anything from anyone's throat but now seemed like a good enough time to learn. After smacking Finn on the back a few times, he decided that this was not an effective method of extricating the foreign object from the boy's throat. He grabbed Finn around the middle and heaved upward. The plum's pit came flying out of Finn's throat and he began to gasp loudly. Satisfied that he would not have to explain to the boy's parents how a pitted fruit had sent their son to Valhalla, he turned to the daughter, who was now sobbing loudly.

"It's okay, Anna, it's okay. He's just fine." Gobber clapped her brother on the back and he fell forward. Ignoring the male child, who was now sprawled out on the ground but otherwise okay, he focused his attention to the female. "Everything is going to be fine." He bent down to grab the baby doll from the ground when both he and the girl were dismayed to hear a loud ripping noise.

The doll's arm and leg, as Gobber had so eloquently put it, fell off. Adrianna stared in silence at the now dismembered doll, her eyes wide with shock. This gave Gobber a few precious seconds to come up with a way to keep the child from shedding even more tears.

"Ahh look, the doll wants to be just like me!"

The loud hiccup emanating from the girl informed Gobber that this explanation had been ineffective mere seconds before the wails.

"You bwoke it!" she sobbed, tears splashing onto her shirt.

"Arr, it's easily fixable!" Gobber's eyes frantically searched the room for something with which to use to fix the doll. He spotted a piece of wood and a carving knife that were left over from the last time Hiccup had carved toys for the children. He immediately snatched them up and returned to the crying child. "Now take a look! This here can be the doll's new arm!" he shoved the wood into the socket. "And a new leg!" he shoved the knife into the place the leg had been.

Adrianna suddenly grinned through her tears. "It's just like daddy and you!" she squealed in excitement.

"Exactly!" Gobber returned the doll to the girl. "That was the plan."

"He's Dobcup!" she exclaimed.

"Dobcup?" Gobber asked incredulously. "Right. Okay. That works." he said. "Long as you stop crying for a minute." he muttered to himself.

While Gobber was distracted with the doll repair, Finn had decided that his mother's axe was a fun toy with which to play. He decided that he could throw it just as well as his mother and aimed it at the far wall (figuring that he wanted Gobber and Adrianna to remain alive and unharmed by the fierce looking weapon). He immediately threw it and... missed. The hilt and blade snapped apart and flew in different directions, the hilt hitting the wall and the blade colliding with the metal flowerpot, which was still on the floor after its flowers were harvested for Gobber's costume. His eyes widened in horror as he realized he had only seconds to act. The blade was more likely to get him in trouble so he quickly stuffed it into the flowerpot and turned to look at his almost-great-uncle.

Gobber was staring at him. "What have you been up to?"

"Just yooking at the fwowers." Finn said far too quickly.

Gobber had the distinct feeling that something was up. He eyed the boy suspiciously but could find no evidence of mischief.

"Well, come on over, then," Gobber said, gesturing to the yak-skin rug where Adrianna was now enthusiastically setting up their game of house. "Be the strong warrior for your sister, now."

The family game was possibly the best distraction that the children could have come up with, as it kept them occupied for a surprisingly long time. During the time that they played the sun officially set, Gobber managed to make some halfway decent fish for dinner (as Grandma, of course), babies were 'born' to Adrianna, Finn went to war three times (and won), and Grandma died, only to be brought back to life by a magical cake Adrianna had received from "the dragon fairy." Gobber was currently planning his next major disease, in hopes of lying down for a bit while Adrianna made 'soup' out of water and cabbages. Finn, meanwhile, had begun to get bored with the pastime, and was beginning to wander towards the front door.

"Oh no you don't, laddie!" Gobber yelled, catching the child's attention.

"When wiw mommy and daddy come home?" Finn asked, looking at the stars through the window, probably searching for the familiar shapes of Toothless and Stormfly.

"They will get back when the village is safe." Gobber replied.

"The viwage isn't safe?!" Adrianna's voice was filled with terror. Gobber was severely regretting that he had woken up at that morning.

"Aaah…" Gobber's voice trembled slightly as he considered the corner he was in. "No, of course the village is safe. There's no danger at all."

"But you said it wasn't!" Adrianna shouted.

"Then why haven't mommy and daddy come home?"

The fact that his stories had holes large enough for children younger than his boot to figure out was beginning to irk Gobber. He was not quite certain which child needed more attention right now—Adrianna, in the beginning of tears, or Finn, who was apprehensive.

"The village is safe, your mother and father just making sure that everything is clear around the village because that is their job." He said rapidly. "And they will be home as soon as they finish."

As suddenly as her tears had begun, Adrianna was suddenly overwhelmed by another feeling. "Unca Dobbew! Unca Dobbew!"

Gobber spun to fully face her on his peg leg. "Yes?"

"Outhouse! Outhouse!" She was dancing slightly and looking rather desperate. "Can you take me?"

Gobber felt a sense of urgency sweep over him. He grabbed Adrianna around the waist and began rapidly carrying her to the back of the house, putting her down to open the back door. She scampered through and ran to the outhouse, quickly followed by Gobber.

Finn, now left alone, noticed a darting flame outside the window by the bridge. Thinking it could possibly be his parents, he took the opportunity (checking over his shoulder as he snuck out) to go and greet them. He slid through the door and scampered across the lawn to the bridge, but was disappointed to see that the flames had not been the sparks of a landing dragon—they were, in fact, very small dragons. Fireworms, to be exact. Fireworms which, naturally, needed to be investigated. He stooped down and reached a tentative finger out to touch one, but it spotted him and darted across the grass to escape, quickly followed by its peers. Finn chose to track them through the grass (like a mighty dragon hunter) in hopes of "playing" with his new friends. The tiny dragons paused every few moments to cast a look a look at him, but made a beeline for a mound of rocks on the hillside (which were often utilized by Toothless and Stormfly for sunbathing).

Inside, Gobber had just realized that he was short one Haddock. He was not thrilled. He searched the house, hoping beyond hope that the little boy was hiding under the table or in a hole behind furniture waiting to pop out and scare him, but the child was not to be found. He even poked his head into the master bedroom—no luck. His stomach flip-flopped uncomfortably.

"Adrianna," Gobber said seriously, "I need you to sit down on the yak rug and play with Dobcup for a bit. Don't move. Don't follow me. Don't touch anything but your dolls, okay?"

Adrianna nodded, hesitantly and with a little surprise at her playmate's firmness. She had never seen Gobber like this before.

Gobber left the little girl on the rug (but left the door open, since he could not trust a three year old to sit still for an unspecified amount of time and needed to see if she decided to wander out as well), and went hunting for the boy.

"FINN!" No response. "FEARLESS FINN HADDOCK, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Finn heard his name being called, and glanced over his shoulder where he could see Gobber running about with all the speed he could muster. Finn looked back at his goal. He was… so… close…

The fireworms had crawled between the rocks and were lighting their cave brightly with their glow. He was doing his best to climb into the hole without scraping his bare knees on the rocks or falling into the dragons beneath him, but there was only so much he could do. He was sure if he could reach out and touch their little noses that they would be thrilled to be his…

He closed his eyes. His hand stretched out. He could feel the heat. He had seen his dad do this to Toothless when helping new recruits train their dragons. He knew it would work…

"GOTCHA!" Gobber grabbed the little boy by the ankle and hoisted him from the hole, accidentally scraping Finn's knee as he went. Finn howled loudly—loudly enough to startle and in turn upset his sister in the house—but Gobber was, at that moment, more focused with what the child had been doing.

"I realize you aren't happy with me," he said, pinning the boy against his side, still upside down and furious, "but you'll thank me later. It is much preferable to have a banged up knee, or even no knee at all, than to be burned to a fiery death by angry fireworms. Or have them burn your skin off, which is the least of what would have happened."

Finn was busy pounding his fists against Gobber's prosthetic leg, which, naturally, had no effect whatsoever on Gobber. He was marched into the house and deposited, face first, onto the yak skin rug beside his now screaming sister.

"I guess blood doesn't agree with you." Gobber said calmly, getting something to clean the wound. As he dug around for a bandage in the first aid, he spotted some cottony wool which he pulled apart and plugged into his ears to dull the noise. Between the chorus of screaming twins, Gobber felt he had earned this right.

Finally, the knee was cleaned, the sobbing stymied, and Gobber's nerves had been strengthened by a sip of fine ale he had found in a jug in the medical cabinet behind the dried herbs. The twins had taken an abrupt nap on the rug, Gobcup between them. Gobber had returned to reading The Book of Dragons on the couch, and didn't even notice when the door swung open.

"What. A. Raid." Astrid said. Gobber looked up at her and smiled.

"Back so soon?"

"Fifteen Outcast ships. FIFTEEN." Hiccup joined Gobber on the couch. Both he and his wife appeared to be completely exhausted.

"We had to chase them off on dragon back while fighting off changewing guards in the air, and avoiding bolas."

"We are lucky to have gotten back so early." Hiccup continued.

"We are lucky to have gotten back at all." Astrid countered.

"Sorry, what was that?" Gobber pulled the cotton out of his ears.

Hiccup opened his mouth to reply, but turned to look at Gobber just as the now yellowish fuzz came out of his ears. "Gross… Gobber, why do you have cotton in your ears?"

"The children were singing. For three hours. About bottles of yak's milk on the wall." Gobber replied. Hiccup and Astrid were too tired to note the sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh, that makes sense." Hiccup rubbed his face to try and waken himself a little more, but as he did managed to glance down at his offspring.

"Gobber…"

"Hmm?" Gobber was getting ready to leave. Hiccup looked up at him and did a quick double-take.

"Why are you wearing Astrid's gardening bonnet?"

"Oh, this… That was your daughter's work."

"Good. I was hoping it wasn't our son's. But about him, why is his leg all wrapped up?"

"Ah, yes, well…"

Astrid got a little closer to inspect Finn, and at that moment noticed Gobcup. She pulled the doll out of Adrianna's limp hands quickly—though not fast enough not to stir the child.

"Gobber, what is this?"

"It's a doll." Gobber replied.

"It has a knife sticking out of it!" Hiccup felt a little panicky all of the sudden. In some ways, envisioning his tiny daughter playing with a sharp object imbedded in her favorite toy was more terrifying than fifteen Outcast ships with bolas and a changewing guard.

"Technically, the knife is sticking _into_ it," Gobber said slowly, "since the blade is inside."

"Well, that just makes me feel so much better." Hiccup deadpanned.

"And look at its stunning new arm!" Gobber gestured grandiosely towards the doll.

Adrianna tugged on her mother's skirt gently. "Can I have Mr. Dobcup back?" she asked.

Astrid blinked at this. "_Mr._ Gobcup?"

"Great, the doll isn't just now missing two limbs and carrying a lethal weapon, it is also going through a gender change." Hiccup collapsed back onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"See, mommy, he has a hand wike Unca Dobbew and a foot wike Mr. Daddy."

"_Mr._ Daddy?"

"I don't think you need to be so formal with me, Addie, I've known you since you were born after all."

Adrianna glanced at her father, slightly confused by this statement, and then reached for her doll again. Astrid made sure to hold it out of her reach.

"I think we need to get some proper limbs on him first, Anna." She tried to soothe her daughter. "Then you can have… Mr. Dobcup… back. Maybe we'll even get him some new clothes. If it's a boy now, he probably shouldn't be wearing a dress."

"That's his nightie!" Adrianna insisted. "He's just gotten up fwom bed!"

"Ah, well, your father still needs to put a proper leg onto it, okay?" She handed the doll over to her husband and stooped to scoop the little girl into her arms. "It's time for you to go to bed, anyway, young shield maiden."

Adrianna, still fuzzy from her nap, struggled remarkably little as her mother carried her up towards bed (though she did have her mother make a detour to her father for a goodnight kiss before she was stolen away), a fact which Astrid and Hiccup both were willing to celebrate. By the time Astrid came down to collect Finn and continue her interrogation of Gobber, Gobber had already slipped out, leaving all his embarrassing incidents from the evening behind him. Or, at least leaving behind a lecture.

Well, almost all of his embarrassing incidents.

Gobber managed to get almost back to his home before loud snickering caught his attention. He glanced over and spotted the twins perched on a couple of barrels outside of the Great Hall.

"Nice hat," Ruffnut said. "I didn't know you were so into pink."

"Maybe he's letting out his feminine side. Wish you'd do that." Tuffnut continued.

Gobber would have threatened them, but fortunately Ruffnut seemed to think that punishing Tuffnut was her jurisdiction, and since that last comment merited a spirited assault. The noise drew out the neighbors, which drew more sniggering at his bonnet, but he managed to get back into his home (after removing the cursed thing) with only a few interjected commentaries and the explanation of "babysitting." He would never hear the end of this.

* * *

><p>"And I never have. People still mention it to me."<p>

Adrianna was giggling with barely muffled hiccups. Finn still seemed confused.

"So _why_ haven't you thrown it away?" He asked.

Gobber shook his head slowly. "Well, I always figure that I might need it again someday, if I have to watch other little girls." This was a lie. He really was just a sentimental fool at heart, but he'd rather die than admit it.

"Well. I see you've dug that thing out again." Hiccup commented through the open window of the forge.

"Daddy!" Adrianna vaulted up from the floor and hurdled towards him. He smiled and stepped into the door to catch her in his arms as she reached him, stumbling back slightly from the impact.

"Woah, slow down a bit Addie." He laughed. He started to unstrap the outer leather armor which he wore over his flight suit.

"Thanks for watching them at such short notice, Gobber." Astrid said as she came up behind her husband, who was now pulling a mangled warrior out from under one of his flight suit cross-buckles. It had spent the journey pinned down to his heart.

"Thanks for the good luck charm, Addie." He handed the doll back to her. A wooden hook, just like Gobber's, and a wooden leg, just like Hiccup's, could be made out from under its leather armor, a gift from Hiccup a few years before for Adrianna's birthday.

"I'm glad it worked," she replied. "Hey, dad… Whatever happened to the nightie Mr. Gobcup used to wear?"

Hiccup scratched his head awkwardly. "Well, I think I lost it when I was putting the new stuff on. Sorry."

"Uncle Gobber was telling us the story about how Mr. Gobcup became Mr. Gobcup, and when he played Grandma in our family game while babysitting us, and Finn nearly petted a fireworm—"

"A fireworm? Wait, when did Finn nearly pet a fireworm?" Hiccup searched his memory for this event. He knew that the other two had happened at the same time, so…

"Well, don't worry about that," Gobber said quickly. "It was so long ago, and there was no harm done."

"No harm? I think I have a scar on my knee." Finn began searching his skin for a minute scar.

"I think the scar is actually from a different time," Astrid remarked.

"What other time?" Finn asked.

"The first time Gobber babysat."

"So it was his fault." Finn pulled his pants leg down and stood up to join his family at the door.

Gobber laughed, "I think it was mostly your fault. You were definitely asking for it."

"Wait, what happened?" Adrianna asked. Hiccup laughed and tugged the end of her hair playfully.

"I think that's about it for today. You can ask Uncle Gobber for that story later. We need to get home; there's another storm coming in. Thankfully, everyone's on the island now."

The twins said their goodbyes and accompanied their parents from the workshop, badgering them with questions about their day. Gobber smiled at their retreating figures and began to put back the items strewn on the floor. He folded the pink bonnet and slowly buried it back in one of the baskets, hidden beneath the old Book of Dragons and a collection of other old sentimental heirlooms he couldn't bring himself to throw out. There were a lot of stories hidden in this particular basket—of the twins, of their father, and even of their grandfather. Maybe someday he would have time to tell them all.

* * *

><p><em>Writing these are far too much fun! We really appreciate your feedback. <em>_Under Pressure__ is coming soon!_

_~KateMarie999 and amyboomerang_


	6. Poppy

_Here's a very sweet Stoick story. We had lots of feels while writing it. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Poppy<strong>

* * *

><p>The mead was pouring, the bells were ringing, the dragons were still licking pie off of their humans after their children had pelted them with pastries, and the Haddock children were beginning to drift off in their parents' arms. Knowing that it was getting past their bedtime, even for a holiday, Hiccup and Astrid had already begun to rebundle them into their warmest furs for the long trek back to their home near the Academy.<p>

"Bedtime, I see," Stoick remarked as Astrid hauled Finn up into her arms and headed to the door.

"Yes, well, my child is ready," Astrid said pointedly, more to her husband than her father-in-law. Hiccup was still wrestling Adrianna's arms into her coat as she struggled to watch the festivities.

"I don wanna go bed…" She muttered, near incoherently. "I'm not tired."

Hiccup laughed a little. "Are you sure about that?" The little girl didn't answer.

"You never liked to leave Snoggletog yourself, son," Stoick reminisced for a moment. "Actually, even at this age you used to sneak away and hide. Mm… it all changed when your mother died, though, then I had to drag you along."

Hiccup smiled slightly and hoisted Adrianna up so that her head rested on his shoulder. "Well, since we're claiming children now," he said to Astrid, "I guess my kid is ready too." He turned to the hall of remaining Vikings and shouted over the music, "Goodnight everyone!" Many stopped to return the courtesy. Stoick accompanied them to the door where other members of the tribe were preparing to leave or were hauling out the empty barrels of drinks and liquors.

"Well, goodnight kids. Happy Snoggletog." Stoick clapped his son fondly on the back and smiled at Astrid. "Get the kids off to bed."

Adrianna, who was still mostly awake, tugged on her grandfather's beard rather affectionately. He leaned forward to respond to her beckoning, and she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"G'night Poppy. Happy Snogtog."

He smiled and kissed her on the top of the head. "You too, Anna. I'll see you tomorrow." He gently ruffled Finn's head, but as the boy was now completely asleep he didn't stir. When the door finally closed shut behind the couple, blocking out the icy blasts of snowy air, a hairy, unwelcome arm draped familiarly around Stoick's shoulder.

"Poppy?" It was Spitelout. He appeared to be rather tipsy, and was washing down his last mead with a pint of whiskey. "Stoick the Vast is called… Poppy? By a little brat?"

"That's my granddaughter you're talking about, Spitelout." Stoick shrugged off the man's arm.

"Still," Spitelout sniggered. "I have a hard time seeing a great warrior as yourself as a 'Poppy!' Couldn't you have come up with a more Viking title? Something more… rugged and manly? Becoming your son's father, you are!"

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" Stoick gave the man a hard look, but Spitelout was a little too far from his right mind to refrain from opening his mouth.

"Well, you know… _different._ Soft."

"My son, the dragon trainer, is far from not being a Viking." Stoick felt rather defensive, though he was certain Spitelout probably hadn't meant his comment in a malicious way. Well, not _too_ maliciously, at least.

"Poppy!" Spitelout continued guffawing for a moment before a handbell came to rest with a dull clang on his shoulder. Gobber, bell for a hand, was frowning at him.

"I think you need to sober up some, before Stoick sobers you up for good." He suggested. Stoick sighed.

"He's too drunk to kill, Gobber."

"Still, it sounded good." Gobber insisted. Stoick laughed.

It perhaps should not have surprised Stoick that so many of the remaining adults in the hall were interested in the goings on at the door, especially as Spitelout was letting his mouth hang looser than usual. They were shooting inquisitive looks at the trio, and Stoick was beginning to feel that perhaps this was the optimal time to share a little good cheer, by way of a rather amusing story.

"Well, Spitelout, if you must know," he began, his voice a little louder than it had been before, "I wasn't too keen on the name 'Poppy' myself, but as it happened, I didn't have much choice on the matter. But, well, you know children—and any child of Hiccup's would have to be just as stubborn as their father—"

* * *

><p>Stoick sat down at the roughly hewn table with a loud <em>thump<em>. Astrid was in the process of pouring him a stein of yak's milk while her husband was coming down the stairs with a bundle of loose leaves of paper.

"Thanks for coming over, dad," Hiccup was saying as he shuffled through the papers, a few falling unnoticed to the ground as he did.

"No problem. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Stoick drummed his fingers somewhat impatiently. "Gobber said it was urgent."

"Well, it's about the twins—" Hiccup began. Stoick's heart jumped a little in his chest. It seemed as though since the twins had been born it had been sleepless nights, bouts of colic, and screams of terror when one of the babies took a tumble. The parents had been high-strung since the children had been born, and Stoick had, on several occasions, received rushed requests to come fix the problems, as apparently Lotus could not be reached for every emergency.

"Well, tell me the worst of it."

"The worst?" Hiccup looked up from his papers. "It's just their birthday. Next week. We wanted to do something memorable for it."

"This was an emergency?"

"Not an emergency, per se, more like it was urgent because of time restraints. We were thinking about maybe throwing a party, and making something special for them. They are beginning to walk now, so we were thinking…"

"You do know that your children are too young to remember what you do for this occasion." Stoick interrupted Hiccup's train of thought.

"Yes, but it's their first birthday. It's a _momentous_ occasion. Just imagine, they both survived one whole year with Astrid and me as their parents!"

"I do suppose that is something to celebrate," Stoick conceded. "But I still don't see what you need me for."

"Well, my family didn't really celebrate my first birthday," Astrid said, placing the milk before her father-in-law. "We were wondering what you did with Hiccup."

Stoick leaned back, searching his memories. "Ah! Yes, I remember. I took Hiccup to his first war meeting for his first birthday. You know, it was quite funny; partway through the meeting—"

"I don't think that I really want to take them to a war meeting. And in any case, we aren't on the verge of war…" Hiccup cut in. "Didn't you and mom do anything else?"

Stoick seemed to consider this for a bit. "Well, I think we had a bit of a party all to ourselves, and we did have a rather good present for us all. I commissioned Gobber to-"

Interruptions were running rampant that afternoon, as a shrill cry echoed from upstairs where the twins had been sleeping in their nursery. The couple exchanged looks as if to ask whose turn it was to respond, and as it so happened, it was Hiccup's. He sighed, dropped his various ideas on the table, and turned to go back upstairs to his offspring. Stoick found himself chuckling at this, remembering similar experiences in his own past. Quiet, distant hiccups interrupted his reminiscences as the nursery door opened.

"Sorry to drag you over here for something like this. We just wanted to make it special and our ability for creative thought has been—" a cry interrupted from her from upstairs, "inhibited."

"When was the last time you two took a day off?" Stoick asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"No one wants to watch a pair of twins. Even the other twins don't. Well, they tried once and even with their parents there to supervise, _no one_ wants to watch a pair of twins." Astrid sighed.

"You haven't asked _me_."

"Yes well… you haven't offered. And we figured you were busy with all your duties as chief. Plus…" Astrid paused, thinking carefully. "You raised Hiccup. We figured you'd had enough stress for a lifetime."

"Thank you _so_ much." Hiccup retorted, coming down the stairs with a twin held to each shoulder.

Stoick wordlessly walked up and took the wriggling Finn from his son. Hiccup looked deeply thankful. The chief bounced Finn a bit as he walked back to Astrid, causing the small boy to calm down a bit.

"If you'd like, I can take the twins to my house for a few hours so you can get some rest." He offered.

Sensing that this was a one-time offer, Hiccup and Astrid jumped all over it. Hiccup deposited the drowsy little girl in his father's other arm.

"All right, guys, have fun with your… your… we don't have a name for you." The young father realized. "What should they call you?"

"They can call me chief." Stoick said dismissively.

"Cheeeef!" Finn squealed, grinning and clapping his hands.

"They are _not_ calling you chief." Astrid insisted. "How about gramps?"

"That makes me sound old." Stoick complained.

"Well, I mean, you _are_ a grandfather." Hiccup shrugged.

"Watch your mouth, young man. This is a serious discussion. We're talking about the name they'll call me for the rest of my life." Stoick glared at his son who, instead of being intimidated, rolled his eyes.

"How about Pops?" Astrid suggested.

"Popsy!" Adrianna exclaimed with a grin.

"Absolutely not. That's even worse than gramps." Stoick shook his head.

Adrianna paused for a moment, thinking hard. "Poppy!"

Stoick opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted by grandson's shrill voice.

"Poppy! Poppy! Poppy!" Finn shouted, wiggling excitedly.

Stoick's look of disgust caused Hiccup to howl with laughter. "I think it's settled. You're Poppy." He chortled.

"A poppy is a _flower_!" Stoick protested. "Do I, in any way, resemble a flower?

Hiccup didn't trust himself to answer this question and so he remained silent. Stoick immediately picked up on his hesitation.

"No smart remarks about my beard." The larger man demanded.

Ironically, this was the moment young Adrianna decided that her Poppy's beard was a good toy to play with. She grabbed a fistful of thick, light red hair and tugged very hard. Stoick, having not been expecting this, attempted to pry her tiny fingers loose with his massive one. This proved to be unsuccessful. Finally, ignoring his daughter-in-law's laughter now, he resorted to using his pinky to pry open her clenched digits.

"Poppy!" she said, putting her arms as far around his neck as she could reach (which wasn't very far).

Stoick bristled. He was going to need to have a talk with his granddaughter.

* * *

><p>They touched down in a flowery field coated in orange, red, and yellow an hour later. Stoick deposited both giggly children on the ground. Finn shakily stood up and took a few steps toward particularly large red flower before falling down on his bottom. Adrianna had not taken her first steps yet but she wasted no time in hoisting herself up using the leg of his pants and attempting to crawl into his lap.<p>

"Poppy!" she repeated.

"Yes, Anna. This is a field of poppies." Stoick explained slowly. "I am not a poppy. This is a poppy." The grandfather picked up a flower and held it up to his tiny granddaughter's face.

"Poppy!" she squealed, pointing to Stoick with a big smile.

"Nooooo." Stoick said, holding the flower up so the girl had no choice but to look at it. "This is a poppy. I am a grandfather." He pointed to himself "Grand-fa-ther." he said slowly. He then pointed to the poppy. "Poppy." He repeated this several times.

Adrianna looked deeply thoughtful for a moment. She then brightened up and tugged the flower out of his hands. Thinking that she had finally gotten the idea, Stoick smiled as she crawled into his lap and stood on his leg so that she could reach the lowest point of his beard. She weaved the flower into it as best she could.

"Poppy." She said in a delighted sounding voice.

"Yes, there is now a poppy in my beard." Stoick said, beginning to sound slightly defeated.

The tiny girl climbed out of his lap and crawled into the field to collect more specimens. Finn, on the other hand, was attempting to climb into Thornado's mouth. The Thunderdrum, who had only opened his mouth to yawn, had been bewildered to discover a pair of hands hoisting a little body over his lips and toward his throat. He coughed slightly, as the dry hair irritated him, but refused to close his mouth or even shift it the slightest bit for fear the child would be impaled on a sharp tooth.

"Finn!" Stoick called. "Get out of the dragon's mouth!"

"Dwagaaaa!" Finn shouted with glee.

Stoick reached forward and grabbed the boy by his belt (which his parents called his leash) and pulled him out of the dragon's mouth. Finn didn't seem to realize the danger he had just been in. On the contrary, he seemed to think that this was an excellent adventure and was keen to embark on another one. By the time Stoick had managed to deposit the wiggling toddler on the other side of his lap, away from the dragon's mouth but dangerously close to its tail, Adrianna had decided that her grandfather needed to display his more feminine side and that all his gesturing from the flower to his beard had indicated quite clearly what he had wanted.

"Poppy!" She exclaimed, weaving a fourth flower into the man's long locks.

"It's not Poppy!" he snapped, turning back to the tiny girl.

The second the words were out of his mouth, he realized he had made a mistake. Adrianna's green eyes widened in fear and a hiccup escaped her throat.

"All right, all right!" he consented, knowing full well what the hiccup preceded. He put on an exaggerated grin. "Poppy is fine! Poppy is wonderful! I love Poppy! Whatever my little princess wants!" he hoped this would satisfy her.

It did. Seeing that he was now happy, Adrianna instantaneously went back humming and putting more flowers into her Poppy's beard. The afternoon was spent, crawling, tumbling, tickling, and wrestling in a poppy field. And, though he would never have said it out loud, Stoick was beginning to feel a warm, fuzzy place in his heart opening up for the name Poppy and those who knew him as such.

* * *

><p>The first thing Hiccup and Astrid noticed when Stoick returned their now exhausted toddlers was that the older man's beard and a good amount of his hair were now littered with brightly colored flowers.<p>

"So… had a fun afternoon?" Hiccup asked, trying to keep the amusement in his voice to a minimum (and failing miserably).

"Very good. Now I'm off to see Gobber for a restful evening." Stoick replied.

"I'm _sure_ you are." Hiccup deadpanned, his mouth twitching.

"Now, now, Hiccup." Astrid said conspiratorially. "Let's not meddle into your father's private business."

"Especially not this." Hiccup agreed.

Stoick gave them a withering look. "You know very well that's not what I mean." He said.

"Then why did you get dressed up for the occasion?" Hiccup turned to Astrid and, in a very audible whispered, continued. "Who knew my father, the chief, was the woman in this relationship."

Astrid burst out laughing as Stoick smacked Hiccup on the side of the head. "This was _your daughter's_ doing!" he exclaimed.

"Oh good. I was beginning to wonder." Hiccup sounded legitimately relieved.

Stoick made a move to extricate one of the larger flowers but, upon seeing his granddaughter's rather proud expression, he found himself unable to do so.

"Poppy!" she squealed delightedly.

Hiccup and Astrid looked back at Stoick, who shrugged. "I have killed hundreds of dragons, fought in three wars, and was present at the operation when my son had the rest of his foot removed. I might be saying this myself but I am a very brave man. But, despite it all, I have discovered that I cannot win an argument with a one year old girl who, under the threat of tears, has utterly defeated me."

"That's my girl!" Hiccup smiled and picked up his little daughter, who put her arms around his neck.

"I should have known you'd be involved in my downfall." Stoick said, shaking his head. "But I really do have to get to Gobber. We've set up a date- I mean _meeting_ ever week at this time." He added, seeing his son's sly grin. "You know it's not like that."

"Oh I know. But what can I do when you make it so easy?" Hiccup chuckled.

"Right." Stoick said, realizing that he had absolutely no argument. "I'll just go then."

It wasn't until he was out of sight of the house that Stoick the Vast carefully removed the brightly colored flowers from his hair. His first instinct was to toss then but then, remembering his granddaughter's smile as she had weaved them into his beard, found himself unable to part with them.

* * *

><p>Spitelout looked very amused as Stoick's story came to a close. Stoick had, of course, failed to mention the fact that he had kept the flowers, but the other Vikings were still raising their eyebrows at him.<p>

"Call it what you may, but you won't understand until you have a granddaughter of your own. She'll have a very specific power over you, the kind that sneaks up on, grabs you from behind, and throws you into the prison of her heart forever." Stoick explained in a surprisingly gentle voice.

"I'm not convinced." Spitelout slurred. "You're just soft."

"Better soft than stubborn." Stoick retorted.

Within minutes, Spitelout had passed out, his head on the table and drool slowly emanating from his slack mouth. The next morning, through a pounding headache, he would remember absolutely nothing about this story. Neither would most of the town.

But Stoick woke up that first day after Snoggletog clear headed, warm hearted, and beside his book of pressed poppies.

* * *

><p><em>Due to this installment's unfortunate (okay… intentional but still unfortunate) timing, I am aware I may have some very emotionally distressed readers. You all should know that… I don't regret a thing. For some reason, people seem to like emotional distress, otherwise no one would read this series.<em>

_Also I definitely don't ship Stobber but I think they're the most epic bromance ever._

_In all seriousness, I guess I can say without spoiling anything that Stoick centered stories will continue to be written. I hope you enjoy._

_~KateMarie999 and amyboomerang  
><em>


	7. Mini Fables: Nothing, Mistakes

_Well I promised some mini-Fables and my writing partner hasn't had time to write so I decided to just write these on my own. From this point on, I think the stories are going to be a combination of funny and touching. Because I keep getting these really sweet but not necessarily funny ideas. Though there will still be humor! _

_These are two stories I came up with yesterday. They're out of chronological order but I'm posting them in the order I wrote them. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Nothing<strong>

* * *

><p>Aside from Stoick, Hiccup didn't tell anyone about his secret hideaway during days filled with too much stress. His childhood home stood deserted most of the time and, aside from the muffled noises of the village square, silent. He didn't like to venture in very often, only when he needed a break for a little while.<p>

It had been a noisy week. Adrianna had been sullen and moody for what seemed like no reason at all. Attempting to get her to follow the simplest orders was more difficult than snatching a fish from a hungry Terrible Terror. She had done quite a bit of shouting and Finn had determinedly shouted louder than she so that he would be heard. All-in-all, Hiccup felt like he deserved this break as he walked through the front door.

There was something oddly comforting about his old surroundings. Stoick wasn't big on change and so, aside from a few modifications for the dragons, it stood exactly the same as it had been when he was born. He had vague memories of his mother sitting down on the very bench upon which he sat and telling him stories she had made up. When she died, the stories were some of the things he missed the most. Stories of trolls and dragons and the heroic Vikings who went up against them. Even Stoick would listen in, though he often pretended he was only in the room so that he could do a task that, in all honesty, didn't need doing.

But though both were gone, his mother to Valhalla and Stoick to a boring council meeting, they lingered like shadows in the flickering light of a candle. He could almost see his father telling him it was about time he learned dragon killing, could almost hear his own voice as he desperately attempted to change his mind. His mother's contended humming sometimes echoed when it was quiet enough. Hiccup sat still, a cup of hot tea in his hands, and closed his eyes, willing his mind to bring back all the sounds he remembered so that it would fill the quiet of the room.

"Poppy!"

Hiccup sighed deeply, a small smile on his face. Today just kept getting louder and louder. A second later, the door burst open and a tiny boy with red hair darkened the doorstep ever so slightly. He cocked his head like a confused Night Fury when he saw Hiccup sitting in front of the glowing fire pit.

"Well if I had known I would be having company, I would have made another cup of tea." Hiccup said cheerfully.

Finn grimaced. "Ew!"

His father breathed a laugh and surrendered to the fact that he wouldn't be getting much alone time that day. He patted the space next to him on the bench and Finn, after shutting the door, sat down and stared into the embers.

"Why are you here?" he asked, placing his head in his hands and both elbows on his knees.

"Well it's quiet here. And not at home. I was starting to miss it." Hiccup explained, placing his cup of tea next to him and emulating his son's pose. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk to Poppy." Finn replied with a sigh.

"Oh?" Hiccup gently nudged the boy. "What about?"

"Nothing." Finn said through his teeth.

"Well Poppy's going to be gone all day. Mondays are always busier. More fights to break up and things to fix." Hiccup watched the embers slowly darken. "Things still break on the weekends when most of us are resting up for the next week."

"Oh." Finn sighed again.

"You can tell me, buddy."

The four-year-old looked up at his father for a few seconds, furrowed his brow, and shook his head. "No, I just have to talk to Poppy."

"Is it something about me or mommy or Addie?" Hiccup coaxed. Finn paused for a second before nodding. "Are you not happy?" The pause was longer before the subsequent nod. Hiccup put a hand on his son's back. "Me neither."

"But... but..."

"Oh I'm not angry at them." Hiccup backtracked. "I love your mommy and sister very much. But that doesn't mean they don't make me want to go away for a little bit so I can do... nothing."

The look of confusion crossed the boy's features once more. "What _is_ doing nothing?" he asked.

"Well... I suppose it means going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering." Hiccup smiled. "It's when people say, 'what are you two doing?' and you say, 'oh, nothing.' And we do it."

"Oh." Finn turned back to the embers.

"This is sort of a nothing thing we're doing right now." Hiccup nudged his son once more. "It's nice to get away from everything once in a while."

"I guess." Finn picked up a poker and started moving the embers around, enjoying the process of making sparks fly out of them and over the pit for a few seconds. "Why do you come here?"

"I grew up here." Hiccup breathed a laugh. "I used to sit just where you're sitting and poke the fire with that very poker myself when I was the same size as you."

"Wow. That was a long time ago!" Finn exclaimed, his blue eyes alight with mischeif.

"Watch it! I'm not _that_ old!" Hiccup chuckled.

Finn giggled. "Okay." he conceded. "But Poppy is old."

"Oh yes. Your Poppy is a very old man." Hiccup agreed, his smile widening.

"So is this why my house is sometimes sweltering when I get back from work?" came a booming voice from the doorway.

"Oh no, that's just old age. Men your age are often confused." Hiccup called, knowing full well he deserved a good smack for that comment. Finn let out a laugh and covered his mouth with his hand.

Stoick stomped into the room and gave his son a withering look. "I'm not even going to dignify that statement with a response."

"Wouldn't that statement count as a response?" Hiccup dared.

He got his smack.

"Meeting ran shorter today so I thought I'd come home for a bit of relaxation. I wish I'd known I would have company." Stoick sat down on the bench across from his son and grandson, stretching out his muscles.

"You can relax. We're just doing nothing." Finn supplied with a grin.

"Nothing?"

"Yes, dad. I know you're not familiar with the concept." Hiccup winked and braced himself for another smack.

"I'll have you know that I did plenty of nothing in my day. And a whole lot more after you moved out."

Now Finn was laughing at Hiccup, who looked a bit sheepish. "Well raising me wasn't an easy task. I know that now. This little guy is hard work."

"No I'm not." Finn vehemently shook his head.

"Oh yes you are. Just wait until you have kids of your own." Hiccup chuckled. "But we love you anyway."

"I'm not having kids. I'd have to marry a _girl_." Finn stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Both Stoick and Hiccup laughed at this statement for quite a bit longer than Finn anticipated. What was so funny? Girls were _icky_!

"One day, you might not find them so bad." Stoick said, shaking his head with a smile still on his face.

"And your mommy was a little girl once." Hiccup added.

"Yes but she's _mommy_." Finn said as if this explained everything.

"Yes she is, little man. Maybe you should thank her once in a while." Hiccup put his arm on the boy's shoulder.

"I thought we were doing nothing." Finn reminded them. "I don't want to talk about _girls_!"

"Ahh. Of course not." Stoick winked at Hiccup, who shook his head in amusement. "That would be wasting our nothing time."

Finn smiled and went back to work poking the embers. For the next hour or so, three generations stared into the flames and listened to all the things they couldn't hear. And through the occasional crackling sounds and muffled noise outside, all three Haddock men heard the noises of times gone by. The ghosts that inhabited the old house were always present but it took a good deal of nothing to sense them. And by the time they had to leave, the Haddocks felt like it was the most relaxing and most enjoyable nothing they had ever done.

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><p><strong>Mistakes<strong>

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><p>Things in the Haddock house weren't quite back to normal yet. True, Adrianna had finally begun to sleep in her own bed and her laughter became more frequent and less forced. But there was still an aura of uncertainty that hung over the house, of the fear that harm would befall the girl once more. Things that deviated from the norm and were once overlooked often made everyone, even Finn, a little bit jumpy.<p>

After kissing Astrid goodbye and waving to Stoick, who was taking Finn away for their typical Thursday activities, Hiccup noticed that his daughter hadn't made an appearance. She was a late sleeper, something he was letting slide quite a bit more thanks to her frequent nightmares, but she still hadn't gotten out of bed. The young father had a strong feeling that something wasn't quite right.

He climbed the stairs slowly so that any sudden noises wouldn't distress his daughter. Lately, he found himself needing a few seconds to mentally prepare himself for dealing with Adrianna. He would take a broken child over no child at all but it was still greatly upsetting to watch her cope with something that shouldn't have happened at all. And that, perhaps, might not have happened if her father had been more diligent.

_No,_ he thought. _What's done is done. The person who is at fault is Trista and only her. I did the best I could with the information I had._ It wasn't a comforting thought and, truthfully, he couldn't quite believe it yet, but he reminded himself of this as frequently as he could.

He gently knocked on his daughter's door and pushed it in. "Addie?"

The little girl looked up at him and immediately averted her gaze. She was sitting up, her blankets covering her legs and her hands gripping them very tightly. Even with everything that had happened just under a month ago, it was a bit out-of-character for her to refuse to look him in the eye.

"Addie, what's the matter?" Hiccup strode forward and got on his knees next to his little girl.

Adrianna shook her head and still refused to look at him. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Hiccup smiled at her. "Hey, whatever it is, it's okay."

Her daddy reached forward to tug the covers from her grip. She let out a squeak and held onto them so hard, her little knuckles were white. Hiccup was perplexed. She looked perfectly fine, albeit a little bit sweaty, so why was she holding her blankets with a death grip as if hiding something horrible? The answer hit him a second later.

"Addie?" he asked, his voice as gentle as he could make it. "Did you have an accident last night?"

He had apparently guessed correctly. The little girl's resolve finally broke and she began to cry into her hands. Hiccup immediately put his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulder.

"Aww, honey, it's okay. Accidents happen." he muttered, holding her tightly and feeling the jolt from each hiccup.

He had never seen her this... _mortified_. She had the coordination of a drunk Terrible Terror and didn't even seem phased when she tripped over something in front of people. In fact, she often laughed right along with them. But that was before her ordeal which, he thought, might have played a big part in what had happened.

"You're really embarrassed, aren't you?" Hiccup continued. He felt her head bob up and down on his shoulder. "Everybody makes mistakes, baby."

"B-but I'm not s-supposed to." she wept, her entire body shaking.

"Who told you that?" Hiccup pulled her away for a moment so he could look into her eyes. She sniffled loudly and he wiped away her tears as best he could. "Because that is just silly. Everybody makes mistakes. Finn makes mistakes. Mommy makes mistakes. Poppy makes mistakes."

Adrianna shook her head and covered her face with her hands. She looked almost frightened. No, she looked _completely terrified_. Like finding out about her little accident, which wasn't even a big deal in the grand scheme of things, was the worst thing in the world.

After a few seconds, she found her voice again. "D-don't let them t-take me away again."

"What?" Hiccup gasped, completely shocked. "Addie, what that woman did to you was wrong. Listen to me." he put his hands on her shoulder and waited until she met his gaze. "You were _not_ being punished. You did _nothing_ wrong. And no one will _ever_ take you away again. No matter how many mistakes you make."

She didn't avert his gaze this time. "You p-promise?"

"I promise."

"You m-make mistakes?" she continued, now gripping his arm with her little hand.

Hiccup laughed. "Yes, Addie. I make mistakes. A lot. Every single day. I made a big mistake yesterday."

"You did?"

"I sure did. Erick's mommy wanted me to get her some flour from the food storage. You know how the bakery is aaaall the way across the village?" Adrianna nodded. "Well on the way back, right in the middle of the village and in front of everyone, the bag exploded all over me. I was completely covered in flour and I had to walk all the way across the village looking really silly and white." the little girl let out a timid giggle. "Oh I looked very ridiculous. Everybody saw me. Everybody laughed at me. But you know what I did?" she shook her head. "I made fun of myself. I laughed with them."

"Is that why your hair was white and you had to take a bath?" Adrianna asked.

"It sure is. I was embarrassed. Just like you are right now. Everybody saw me make that big mistake. But you know what?" Hiccup tapped her nose with his pointer finger. "You and me are the only ones who are _ever_ going to know about yours."

Adrianna sniffled. "Not mommy?"

"Nope, not mommy. I'm not going to tell anyone." Hiccup kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Addie."

"I love you too, daddy." Adrianna wiped away the last of her tears.

"Now let's get you all cleaned up and then we can make a snowman outside."

Hiccup ruffled her messy hair and was pleased to see his daughter genuinely smile.

* * *

><p><em>Okay this doesn't usually happen to me but I had MAJOR warm fuzzies writing that last story. I seriously wanted to jump into the story and give Addie a big hug. Did I mention I love her? I really do!<em>

_And the first story was in response to the requests that Hiccup and Finn have some father/son time. Now that __Under Pressure__ is finished (if you haven't read it yet, go read it because now you won't have to deal with cliff hangers), I can really take some time and map out the father/son elements of __Stowaway__._

_I hope you all liked these two little stories! I've got a few more coming, most of which are funny!_

_~KateMarie999_


	8. Mini Fables: Stampede, Perfect, Addie

_Well all of these have been available for a while via tumblr or just me offering to send them but I thought I might as well post them all here._

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><p><em>This is Finn's version of events the day he set the boars loose at the beginning of <em>_Stowaway__. He's probably about 17 or 18 as he tells this._

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><p><strong>Stampede<strong>

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><p>If you're on Berk long enough, you're probably going to hear about the boar stampede that went though the village. Everybody likes to tell that story and they tell it to all the guests. So it's probably best that you hear it from me before somebody else exaggerates everything and gets the details wrong. I know what happened. I was there! Actually, I was the knucklehead that started it.<p>

My grandfather died when I was almost five. We used to do a lot of things together, you know, hunt, fish, fly, all that junk. So when he died I was really upset. Then all this crazy stuff happened with the laws being all stupid and my dad almost getting himself killed but that's not really important. It was probably two years later... yeah I remember, I was seven. So my dad hadn't been chief too long. I'd say this was his fifth or sixth big incident as chief. Figures I'd have been at the center of it.

I was climbing rocks mostly. I used to like to do stuff like that as a kid. Climb to the top of a giant rock and jump off it. I actually managed to break my ankle when I was 6 because of that. That's a different and slightly less embarrassing story. So I was off doing all that stuff when I saw this pack of boars.

I don't know what I was thinking. I think I was trying to prove my manhood. And be like my grandfather. Whatever it was, it was stupid. I sneaked up on them and jumped on top of one. It squealed and started running in all directions. I managed to hold on while they were all running like mad right into the village square.

It was about this time that panic set in. Not just about the wild ride, though that was scary enough, but about how much trouble I was going to be in when my parents caught me.

Anyway, now I think about it, I bet I looked pretty ridiculous riding a boar all over town. The stampede came through and started knocking over carts and people and smaller dragons. The one I was riding ran straight into the food storage and threw me into a pile of fish.

At that point, I could hear my dad yelling for everyone to keep calm. And Gobber panting as he tried to round up the boars. And kids screaming because it was probably pretty scary. I'm told my sister had wandered off with Erick and completely missed this incident. Definitely for the best.

So I walked out of the food storage just in time to see my dad try to face down this really big boar. Well, sort of. It charged at Inga and he ran in the way and ended up taking the hit. He was lying there for a couple of seconds before he could get back up. My mom tried to round up the dragons to put a stop to it and once we did, most of the boars ran off.

Except now the village was in shambles. My mom grabbed me by the ear and took me straight home. My parents are always really conservative in the harsher punishments, they usually save them for the REALLY bad stuff Anna and I do. I'd say trashing the village warranted a pretty harsh punishment and my mom did not hold back. A week of being forced to stay in the house except when I had to go into the village to help fix the damage. The worst of it was finding out that this big basket of fresh berries had been ruined so I had to go pick another basket. It took all day and the bushes were covered in thorns so I had a lot of cuts by the end of it. Again, I deserved it.

So there, now you know what happened. If anyone tries to tell you the story, you can just tell them that you know it. And hey, maybe I'll tell you about that time I broke my ankle at some point.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I guess one good thing did come out of this because I got to try bacon for the first time. Gods, it's like Valhalla on a plate. I have been kind of addicted ever since.

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><p><em>Posted this to tumblr ages ago but it's too cute not to post here!<em>

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><p><strong>Perfect<strong>

_I'm a mom_. The thought flitted through Astrid's mind as she stared into the face of her little son. His eyes were drooping now and she knew that he would be asleep well before the healer would arrive. She hadn't held many babies before. She'd done it once when a woman needed to talk to Gobber for a moment but that child was crawling already. This baby wasn't just a newborn, he was an unusually _tiny_ newborn. She'd never seen a person this small before. Whose movements did she feel? How many of them were his?

She was sore. More sore than she'd ever been in her life. She felt like she had just gotten out of a battle. But she only vaguely registered the pain. It was worth it. Every agonizing second had been worth it. She had been so terrified of giving birth, frightened that she would never love her baby. But now that she was holding him, her little boy, she couldn't believe she had ever felt that way. From the tip of his head covered in red fuzz to the ends of his tiny toes, this little baby was perfect. The way he moved his hands and grasped her shirt, pulling a little bit and then releasing it... the way he stretched out his legs and then brought them in a bit almost like he was exercising... the tiny noises coming from his throat. These babies were the most beautiful things she and her husband had ever created.

She knew that there would be time to hold her daughter but she didn't want to give up her son. Not yet. From the moment he was in her arms, he was hers. He had been born mere seconds and he had already changed the way she thought about everything. He had made a difference by his mere existence. He had turned her jaded, pessimistic heart into one that felt like it was going to burst open. She leaned down and kissed his impossibly soft cheek. His eyes fluttered in response but he seemed to appreciate the closeness to his mother.

She had known she was going to have a boy. Like he was whispering in her ear every day, telling her that he was coming. She had been so worried about not loving her baby that she had neglected to realize just how badly she had wanted a son. The men in her life up until she had gotten married had ranged from annoying to abusive. She wanted a chance to turn a boy into a good man. The kind of man who would treat the women in his life the right way. And that good man was nestled in her arms. It wasn't going to be easy but she was going to do everything in her power to see that he grew into that man. It didn't matter if he was scrawny like Hiccup, big and beefy like Stoick, stocky and muscular like Snotlout... she would love this little boy no matter what. For months, she had been dreaming of him. And now he was here. He had already taught her a beautiful lesson about love. She knew that he would keep teaching her, that her journey was only just beginning. But if her beautiful, perfect little boy was there along the way, it was a journey she would cherish.

* * *

><p><em>The following is my personal favorite and I know a lot of you have already read it but I figured that those who haven't should. It's too adorable!<em>

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><p><strong>Addie<strong>

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><p>A funny phenomenon happens when a couple becomes parents for the first time. For nine months, they prepare for the impending arrival of a new human being. Yet once that human being <em>does<em> arrive, every rational thought seems to fly out of their heads. They spend months practicing changing diapers on baby dolls and rocking their friends' babies to sleep and babysitting rowdy children but once their own child comes into the world, it's like they start back at square one.

Nowhere was this more obvious than the night after the Haddock twins were born. The euphoria of having two brand new babies wore down just enough for panic to set in.

Fortunately for the exhausted and sore Haddocks, babies sleep a very long time after birth. It didn't take much time for the entire family to fall asleep in the healer's house. The healer herself, an elderly woman named Tasha, thought it was best not to disturb them. Inevitably, the babies awoke well before their parents might have liked.

Hiccup and Astrid jerked awake at the piercing wail that came from the crib next to their bed. Astrid groaned groggily and nudged her husband. She was still far too sore to get up so it fell to him to see what was wrong.

One of the babies was fussing while the other stirred, moments away from waking up and joining the chorus. Hiccup knew he had seconds to act before both he and Astrid would be tasked with attempting to calm down one irate baby each. He reached in and gently lifted the crying baby, immediately turning and leaving the room so that at least the sounds were muffled.

"Shh, what's the matter, buddy?" he asked, trying to rock the baby back to sleep.

The light was dim but he was pretty sure it was Finn who was, for some reason, upset. The new father thought back to the events of a few hours earlier. Astrid had nursed both babies on the ride back from the island on which she had given birth. Was he hungry again?

A moment later, an unpleasant odor emanated from the newborn.

"Ahh. Yes, I imagine that's a bit uncomfortable, little guy." Hiccup smiled and placed the baby on a table, reaching into a pile of clean diapers and hoping he remembered what to do next. "All right, first I have to take off the dirty diaper... how do I do that?"

It wasn't easy attempting to figure out how to take off the smelly cloth but in a moment, he had figured out what he was doing. The unpleasant smell intensified but Hiccup was so determined to figure out what he was doing to be bothered with reacting. He found a box of clean rags with which he had been told to use to clean off the baby before placing him in the new diaper.

"Hang on a second." Hiccup muttered, finally centering the baby on the clean diaper. "You're not Finn." He rolled his eyes, chuckling to himself. "Gods, one day as a dad and I'm already confusing my children. The next seventeen years are going to be a blast."

The baby responded by wiggling a bit, her cries quieter now that she was more comfortable. Hiccup fastened the diaper at both sides and stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"Right... not exactly a work of art but it'll do."

He reached forward to lift his little girl from the table and was dismayed to note that she hadn't stopped crying completely. He began to rock his body, hoping that the gentle movements would lull Adrianna to sleep. No such luck.

"Hey, come on." Hiccup whispered to her. "What do you want, sweetie? You're all cleaned up. Tell me what's the matter."

Adrianna, to be fair, had only been born yesterday so she was incapable of telling her exhausted father what she wanted. Instead she hiccuped rather loudly.

"Woah, don't hurt yourself." Hiccup adjusted the swaddling cloth so that it would keep her warmer. "Shh, don't cry, Adrianna." he frowned slightly. "You know, that's a bit of a mouthful, little lady. You think I should shorten it a bit?"

For all the good it did, he might as well have asked her if she was a cabbage. She continued to fuss, kicking her little feet inside the cloth and waving a fist around almost like her father had said something offensive. Hiccup strode across the room and sat down in a rocking chair, tucking her little arm back into the cloth before it got cold and she cried _louder_.

"Hmm, what do you think of Anna?" Hiccup asked. He had a feeling that talking to her, simply talking, might be enough to calm her down. "Yeah I don't like it either. Adri?" the baby continued to fuss almost like she hadn't heard her father speak at all. "I agree, it's not very you, is it? So what about... Annie?"

Adrianna's crying grew a bit louder. Hiccup continued to rock her, feeling horrible for not being able to provide his baby girl with what she so clearly wanted. Whatever that was. He began to rub her back, bringing her a bit closer to his face so that he could look her in the eye.

"Come on, tell me what's bugging you, Addie!"

The nickname had slipped out of his mouth completely on its own. He didn't have to think about it. There was something natural about it, almost like an instinct. What was even more surprising was that Adrianna seemed comforted by this simple word. She stopped mid cry, blinking a few times almost like she was surprised.

"You like that?" Hiccup asked, his face breaking into a smile. "I like it too. Rolls off the tongue. Goodness knows I need something easy to say."

The baby yawned widely, making little noises with her throat almost like they were residual cries that she no longer felt like fully letting out. Her little eyelids began to droop.

"That's my girl." Hiccup whispered as he continued to rock her. "Just go to sleep. I've got you."

A conflicting emotion began to rise in the new father's chest as he spoke. Part heart stopping fear and part unexplainable joy. He thought back to the conversation he'd had with his father only a week ago. How he had said out loud that he wanted a baby girl. It seemed so long ago. In such a short time, he had become a father to a son and a daughter. He knew his relationship would be different with each one. But this little girl, this miracle... she was special. She was _his_. His heart was bursting with love for her the moment she was in his arms, so much that he didn't think he could possibly love _anyone_ more but now, with her drifting to sleep, placated by a name that only they shared now, his heart expanded again.

But something else came with it. As his love for her increased, so did his fear. This little baby was completely helpless. She didn't just need him for diaper changes and snuggles. As she grew, she would need him to teach her to walk and talk, to bandage up her little cuts and scrapes, to make her feel safe again after a bad dream, to teach her about the kind of man who would someday... _nope_. That last thought was far too painful. There was no way he was giving up his little girl just yet, whether it was for a day or the rest of her life. Besides, any man who could possibly marry her was probably toddling around the- _no_. He was the man in her life now.

Adrianna's breathing grew deep and Hiccup knew she had fallen asleep at last. He didn't want to move. As tired as he was, there was something so wonderful about staring into his baby daughter's face as she slept and thinking about all the days that lay ahead. He wondered what she would be like, whether she would be clumsy like him or perhaps fascinated with weapons like her mother. Would she be right handed or left handed? Would she want to be the center of attention or would she shy away from groups of people? What sort of dragon would she eventually pick... oh _gods_, he was going to have to teach her how to _fly_ one day! The thought made him shiver a little

But right now, he didn't care. He didn't care if she cried all night and woke up half the village or if she would one day break his heart. Today... _today_ she was his baby. Today she was his Addie.

He leaned down and kissed her impossibly soft forehead. She stirred slightly but remained asleep. And so the father, overwhelmed with love for his newborn daughter, remained rocking until the moon rose high in the sky. But he didn't care.

He would do anything for his baby.

For his daughter.

For his _Addie_.

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><p><em>And there you go, extra chapters to pad this down while <em>_**amyboomerang**__ and I stop being lazy and actually write something for this series. I have 2 half finished ones but I can't seem to motivate myself to finish them off._

_Chapter 2 of __Taming Hearts__ is coming on our Dragon Day! Be sure to keep an eye out for it or follow/favorite it if you haven't already!_

_Let me know what you thought!_

_~KateMarie999_


	9. The Mud Bath

_A bit __**EmmerzK**__ wrote for __Stowaway__ inspired me. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>The Mud Bath<strong>

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><p>Fearless Finn Haddock was a rambunctious little boy on the best of days. For this reason, he almost always needed supervision. Left to his own devices, he was likely to wander off and get himself into trouble. This was already something he'd done on multiple occasions so Hiccup and Astrid thought it was best to assign the dragons babysitting duty when they needed to run an errand. Toothless and Stormfly's enthusiasm fluctuated quite a bit. Some days they were quite happy to babysit the bright eyed toddler. Other days, they would rather eat a whole basket of eels than chase the little boy all over Berk.<p>

Today was one of those days in which Toothless rather enjoyed the little boy's company. It was fun to chase him around and keep him distracted from all the sharp objects and large rocks of which he would immediately try to jump off. The boy had turned three about a month ago and since then, his speaking was getting a little bit better so Toothless at least had an idea of what was running through his head when he was misbehaving.

"Toofwess!" he called, running away from the dragon as fast as his little feet would carry him. "Catch me!"

Toothless grinned and pursued the boy, careful to remain behind him but slowly gain on him until his nose was periodically bumping up against Finn's back. The toddler giggled loudly every time the Night Fury did this and Toothless liked that sound so much that he pursued the boy far outside of the limits his rider had set up. Soon they were in an unfamiliar clearing. Toothless looked around, feeling a bit sheepish and hoping he'd be able to find his way back.

"Wun, wun!" Finn hopped up and down in front of the dragon. "Catch me!"

Toothless grasped the boy's shirt in his gums so that the game would be over. He had to think. How was he supposed to lead his rider's young back to the house when he didn't even know where the house was? He snuffled and watches as the child made a beeline to a very large black... thing in the middle of the clearing. Toothless crept forward to investigate and managed to stop the boy from jumping into it before inspecting it.

The rain the previous day had left a very large mud pit. In fact, the middle of it was deep enough for the small boy to wade. Toothless was about to grab Finn's shirt again and get him away from the mess when the redhead leaped out of his reach and landed with a squelch on his bottom. He let out a squeal of delight.

"Yook Toofwess!" he grabbed a huge handful of the stuff and let it run down his fingers. "I aww messy!"

And messy he was. Toothless glared at the toddler through narrow eyes. He took several steps forward to attempt to retrieve him and suddenly slipped in the substance, landing face first into it. Letting out a growl of frustration, he wiped his eyes off. His legs were covered in the stuff... and it was quite nice, actually. The warm summer weather had made the mud very warm and it was like taking a hot bath. Toothless splashed in it, spraying mud in all directions. He looked over at Finn, a gummy smile on his face.

"Pway with me Toofwess!" the toddler called again, overjoyed that his daddy's dragon had figured out that getting dirty was a lot of fun.

Toothless backed out of the mud, making Finn's face fall a bit. Seconds later, when he had gotten a good distance away, the Night Fury wiggled his hindquarters and ran at top speed into the mud. Once he had submerged all four legs, he slid next to the young, sending a tidal wave of mud all over him. Finn screamed with laughter and splashed in the stuff with his little fists.

"Again! Again!" he squealed.

Toothless laughed at the sight of the toddler once he had gotten a good look at him. Finn was covered head to foot in the substance. His once bright red hair was now a sludge brown and dripping all all down his face. His green tunic was now the same color as his hair and arms and legs. The dragon was going to have a lot of explaining to do when he got back... and he didn't care one bit. This was loads of fun! He was so fond of this little boy and they were having the time of their lives out there.

When the time finally came for the muddy dragon and boy to return home, Toothless was slightly concerned that he would lose Finn because he was now the same color as the ground and trees. Finn stayed close by, however, hoping for a second adventure.

Berkians stopped to stair at the pair of them as they walked by, tracking mud everywhere they went. Gobber laughed to himself as they passed the forge. He so wished he could see Hiccup and Astrid's reaction to them but he was a bit behind on his work. There would be many, _many_ more funny moments to come.

* * *

><p>Stoick the Vast had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. The council meeting had gone on rather long as he took his frustration out on just about everyone there. Hiccup had tried to make himself look invisible but this only made the chief round on him too. After bellowing orders for the last few hours and terrifying a group of rowdy ten-year-old boys, Stoick decided that he hadn't lectured his son enough so he set off toward the Haddock home as soon as possible.<p>

His granddaughter was sitting outside the house when he arrived. She was completely distracted by the doll she was playing with, which had a blue nightie and restitched legs. It wasn't until Stoick was only a few feet away that she noticed him.

"Poppy!" she shrieked in delight, sending the doll flying in the opposite direction.

The little girl bounded forward and threw her arms around one of her grandfather's legs. Stoick, despite his sour mood, felt a tiny spark of happiness at this affection.

"Hello there, Adrianna." he patted the girl's head. "Is your father home?"

"Uh huh!" Adrianna said, letting go of his leg at last. "Look what I founded out in da gawden!" she pointed to Astrid's garden, which was surprisingly well kept considering how young her children were.

"I need to talk to your father." Stoick boomed.

Adrianna took no notice, instead scurrying over to the garden and picking up a rock. "Seeeeee?" she chirped, handing it to her Poppy.

"It's a rock." Stoick said in a slightly exasperated voice.

"Noooo it's a dwagon wock!" the child was hopping from foot to foot as if she had been bursting to show this to him all day.

"Well... that's nice." Stoick sighed and looked at the rock again. For a moment, he couldn't figure out why his tiny granddaughter had been excited about this find... but then he noticed a tiny fossil in it, apparently left by a Fireworm long ago. "Oh I see." he handed the rock back to the girl. "I'm sure your father will like it."

"No, it's for you!" Adrianna shoved the rock back into Stoick's hand.

Before the chief could respond, the door opened and out came Hiccup, grinning at the sight of his father and daughter spending time together and marveling at just how tiny she was compared to him.

"Dad!" he greeted. "Never thought you'd show up..."

"Hiccup, we need to talk." Stoick boomed at his son in a voice that, at one time, would have made him cower in fear.

"And I'm sure it will be a wonderful discussion." Hiccup deadpanned.

Stoick huffed and opened his mouth to reply when Hiccup caught sight of two brown blobs approaching the house, one very large and the other small and hopping around like a hyperactive Terrible Terror. At the sight of his son's diverted attention, Stoick turned to look just in time for Astrid, who showed up at the door a moment later, to figure out what had happened.

"Ohhhh _Finn_!" she exclaimed.

Sure enough, it was Finn and Toothless who had arrived and both were completely covered in dark, wet mud. Hiccup sighed deeply. If it were someone else's child, he would have found this amusing but his son had such an aversion to bathing that it would be a real hassle to get him into the tub.

"Finn's all diwty!" Adrianna giggled and hiccuped loudly, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Yes he is, Addie." Hiccup bounded forward, his eyes on Toothless, who grinned. "Toothless, what in the name of sanity possessed you to think that this was a good idea?"

Toothless stopped walking and stared at his rider with narrowed eyes. He sighed. He didn't like lectures.

"You know you're not supposed- what are you doing?" With a gleeful sparkle in his eye, Toothless tensed his muscles and began to shake his head. "No! Toothless, don't you dare- GAH!"

The Night Fury shook his whole body, mud flying in all directions and coating everything within a few feet of him. Finn howled with laughter as his father put up his arms to block his face from the dark brown substance. Unfortunately, his leather flight suit wasn't so lucky.

"AWW COME ON!" he bellowed. "I JUST WASHED THIS!"

Toothless chortled defiantly as the laughter of Astrid and Adrianna joined in. Hiccup looked sadly at his flight suit and tried to brush the dark mud off of it. He was only successful in getting his hands covered in the stuff. He turned back to the house and Astrid let out a shout of laughter at the sight of him. Adrianna was covering her mouth with both hands, her whole body jerking with hiccups.

"Yeah that's right!" Hiccup attempted to keep a straight face as the hilarity of the situation began to dawn on him. "Just laugh at my misfortune."

Finn scampered over and put his arms around his father's leg. "Toofwess made you messy, daddy!" he reiterated.

Hiccup patted his son's head, a tiny smile finally forcing its way out of his face. "Yes. Yes he did, buddy."

The two of them sauntered over to the house. Adrianna took a step back, her green eyes alight with laughter.

"Addie, hey, how about a nice big hug?" Hiccup threw out his arms and began to pursue the toddler.

"NO!" Adrianna squeaked, running as fast as she could into the house and hiding under the kitchen table.

Hiccup pursued his child but Astrid stepped in front of him.

"You are not tracking mud in the house!" she said sternly.

"Aww come on-"

"No, I am not going to spend the next few days attempting to scrape dried mud off the floor." Astrid flapped her hands to shoo him away without touching him. "Or, rather, you won't want to spend the next few days doing that because I'm not touching it."

Hiccup crossed his arms in a pout but stepped away from the house. Finn giggled at his mother's insistence, glad that it wasn't him to whom she was speaking that way.

"Hey Anna, do you want to splash water on your daddy?" Astrid called into the house.

Adrianna toddled forward excitedly. Hiccup's eyes widened dramatically.

"Oh no!" he shouted when Astrid filled a bucket with water and handed it to the girl. "Not the water!" he pretended to flee in terror so his daughter would have to chase him down. She caught up with him seconds later and splashed his right leg. "GAH!" he fell down dramatically.

Suddenly, they heard a booming laugh. Stoick's sour mood had finally dissipated at the sight of his son and grandchildren having such fun. He couldn't even remember what he'd gone to the Haddock house to tell him. Something insignificant, he supposed.

"Here, Astrid, let me get the water." he said through guffaws.

Hiccup, Toothless, and Finn stood next to each other on the front lawn a few minutes later. Stoick, Astrid, and Adrianna all had buckets of water (Stoick's was technically a barrel) which they poured on the trio's heads. Mud came running down their bodies and puddled at their feet. Toothless glared at Astrid, who had soaked him, but acknowledged that this was probably better than his original plan, which was to attempt to lick all the mud off. Stoick doused Hiccup in one go and Adrianna was delighted to pour water onto her brother's head. Once they were finally clean, Astrid allowed them in the house (after taking off their boots and leaving them on the front porch).

Hiccup and Astrid invited Stoick to stay for dinner, an invitation he heartily accepted. He sat down on the couch and watched all the excitement going on around him. Finn had begun to run in circles around the fire pit and the kitchen table, babbling excitedly about everything he had done that day. Hiccup and Astrid worked on dinner, smiling fondly at their rambunctious little boy. Meanwhile, Adrianna snuggled up against her Poppy to watch everything rather than participate in the action. The evening's excitement had worn her out.

There was something about children that seemed to disarm everyone around them. And the Haddock children, Finn with his propensity for getting into mischief and Adrianna with the little discoveries that made her so very happy, disarmed even the toughest of people. This was why, though he would never say it out loud, Stoick simply adored the two of them. They could turn any bad day into a good one with their enthusiasm. He was so looking forward to watching them grow up.

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><p><em>Oh the ending was horribly cruel, I know, but think of it this way: Stoick does watch them grow up from above! In fact, I really want to assure the readers of that at some point in the series but I haven't found a place for it yet.<em>

_Anyway, the rest of this fic was fun to write. I kind of feel like it's choppy but it's been a while since I've written about the twins as toddlers and these little cutesy scenes are getting harder and harder to write what with all the angst I've been planning. But this series was due for an update._

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	10. Reader Submissions: Autocorrect, Hungry

_Hello everyone! Long time, no posting. I am so sorry! I thought that, since I'm being so lazy about posting some of the ideas I have for this series, I'd dedicate a whole chapter to reader submissions. I did a bit of light editing to fix grammatical errors or strange wording but aside from that, it should be about the same as how I got it. If you want to submit your own story, let me know and I'll post it and give you all the credit!_

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><p><strong>Autocorrect<br>by night-fury-baby**

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><p><em>A modern AU of an embarrassingly autocorrected conversation between Finn and Astrid. The Haddock kids aren't twins in this universe; Finn is 2 years older than Adrianna.<em>

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><p>Finn took the spare key out of his jacket pocket and unlocked the front door to his house. He was home from <em>another <em>day of high school. This was beginning to seem like torture to Finn. He had been in high school for only a month and a half, and every day seemed to get longer as he watched the clocks tick. The only time of the day he thought was okay was lunchtime. This particular day had sucked. A teacher had caught him listening to his music while she was talking, and she took his new phone from him and made him get it at the end of the day. At least she didn't call his parents. Then he would have gotten his phone taken away. _Again. _Yes, today was pretty horrible. Not to mention after all his stupid classes, he had football practice, which seemed to drag on for hours. Two hours on the field shoving guys around was _exactly _what he wanted to do when he was already tired. Finn ordinarily loved football but this was the sort of day that made him wonder why.

When he walked inside, he saw his mother dressed up in a coat and stuffing some papers into her purse. She turned around at the sound of the door shutting and smiled to see her son.

"Hello Finn, glad to see you home before I leave." she threw her purse over her shoulder as she talked, walking around and apparently looking for something. "How was school?"

The boy gave her his best fake smile and slid off his backpack and duffel bag, throwing them on the couch. "It was fine, Mom. Where are you going?"

She looked back at him a moment, before searching a few pots in the kitchen. "To pick up Adri and go grocery shopping. But I won't be going anywhere if I can't find my car keys." She looked in her purse, giving a soft sigh.

Finn scanned the kitchen for a moment and then rolled his eyes. "Kitchen counter." he grinned impishly. "You're so old, mom, they were right in front of you." Astrid narrowed her eyes at him and he merely snickered before walking over to the fridge and opening it."Hey mom, if you're going shopping, can you get me some apple juice?"

He saw his mother grab the keys and throw them in her purse. "Sure you can trust me to remember that the whole way to the store with my aging brain?" she snarked.

"I'll take the risk." Finn shrugged. "Text me if you forget."

Astrid nodded at him. "I'll be back in about an hour. Got to stop at the library first?"

Finn grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and shut the door. "Why are you going to the library?"

Astrid buttoned up her coat. "To pick up Adri. Erick walked her there after school."

Finn shook his head, unable to understand why his sister was so fascinated with a place where loud noise and boisterous behavior was prohibited. "Oh, right." He took a drink from the water bottle, enjoying the icy blast.

Astrid nodded, walking to the door. "Oh and Finn? Your dad won't be home for a while. He's got a staff meeting tonight."

"All right." Finn watched Astrid walk to the door and took this opportunity to sling his duffel bag over his shoulder and go upstairs. But he only got halfway up the stairs when he heard his mother's voice again.

"Finn? Don't even about doing _anything _until your homework is finished!" He heard the front door close and lock, and then the sound of his mother's car starting. He let out a groan, opening his bedroom door and flopping on his bed. Realizing that he really couldn't do anything _but _his homework, he opened his duffel bag and pulled out his history textbook.

Finn sat on his bed, his black earbuds in his ears while he tried to do his stupid history homework. He was so sick and tired of all this homework. He was so worked to bone, and it was only Wednesday! But he knew if his grades weren't high enough, he wouldn't be allowed to play football anymore. And if he didn't play football, he wouldn't get a college scholarship. But this didn't stop him from envying his little sister, whose workload was a significant amount lighter. Though, he supposed, he probably had as much free time as she did when he was in seventh grade. Dang, he _really _missed the days when he could study for the shortest time and use the rest of the time to play on the Xbox or join his friends outside. But high school brought its own challenges and Finn was looking forward to his later years when all the required classes would be out of the way and he could choose as many electives as he wanted.

He continued studying the textbook, writing down answers as fast as he could, hoping to breeze through this, quickly finish his math, and then look over his English. He looked at the clock next to him. It had been a whopping fifteen minutes. His mother had probably already picked up Adrianna and was heading to get his apple juice. He looked back at his homework, writing down three more answers before his phone beeped. He paused his music, and looked to his message box. It from his mother.

"_You were right, I am going senile. What kind of juice did you want again?"_

Finn snickered and quickly typed,

"_Apple juice."_

He turned back to his music, tapping his foot to the beat as he wrote down two more answers before his phone beeped again. He almost didn't turn back to messages, expecting an _ok _or _I love you_, but he changed his mind. When he flipped it back pm, he was confused by her answer.

"_Uhhh…I think you outgrew the need for that over a decade ago…"_

He scratched his head in confusion. What was wrong with apple juice? Everyone loved apple juice. How did he outgrow the _need _for it? He scrolled up to his past message and his eyes widened. He had certainly _not _said apple juice. With shaking hands, he looked at his phone.

"_Nipple juice."_

Autocorrect. Ever since he got the stupid iPhone, he'd been autocorrected almost every word. It was annoying, but it never gotten him into much trouble. But how in the world had apple been changed to_nipple_? And why was that even in the word category? He could never recall texting someone the word, and it wasn't a word people used often. He quickly typed back in a mix of anger and embarrassment.

"_APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE OMG NO!"_

He quickly corrected all the words and sent the message. He felt heat rising his cheeks. He looked to his mirror on the left side of his room, seeing his cheeks were tinted red. How embarrassing. He felt his phone beep again. He quickly reached for it, praying that she would just laugh and say _ok_.

"_Your sister and I are cracking up."_

Crap. She showed it to Anna?! She was NEVER going to let him live this down. Oh he was SO screwed now. He felt even warmer. Oh lord…why?!

"_What? No!"_

He sent the message, but as soon as he did, his phone beeped again.

"_I sent a screencap to your dad. He said that he laughed right in the middle of the meeting."_

Holy….crap. No way. Oh my god, could this get any worse? Seriously! First his sister, and now his dad? His mom was obviously trying to torture him. He quickly typed up a new message and looked back at his mirror. His cheeks were now a pale red.

"_No…"_

He flopped back onto his bed, in complete embarrassment. His grabbed a fistful of his hair. Why oh WHY did he get an iPhone?! Everyone at school had one, all his friends did, so he wanted one... but now he had one, he was starting to understand why Adrianna had opted for an Android. He really wished he had listened to her. This autocorrect was driving him nuts. He heard his phone bleep again.

"_Gobber says hi"_

"GOBBER?! HE SENT IT TO GOBBER?!" Finn finally shouted. He felt a surge of anger, but then it all just melted into embarrassment. He looked at himself in the mirror one last time. Yep. It was official. His whole face was as red as his hair. In both embarrassment and anger, he turned on the all caps.

"_HE SENT IT TO GOBBER?!"_

This day could NOT get any worse for him he thought. He would hopefully live this down, but it was a slim chance. He sat up and buried his hands in his face. He sincerely wanted to throw his phone against the wall so hard right now. But if he did, how would he listen to music? He heard his phone bleep again, and quickly picked it up.

"_Adri says this is why she got an Android."_

Screw it. He wasn't even going to answer. He was DONE. He would just wait for his family to get home so they could get his torturing over with. He wanted to do his homework, eat dinner, have a shower and go to sleep. But after all what had happened today? This was probably not going to happen.

That's it.

This was officially the worst day ever. He was ready to die now. He REALLY wanted to throw his phone, but instead, the moody teenager simply unplugged his headphones, wrapped them around the offending electronic, and shoved it in a drawer.

"Great…now I gotta wait for Mom to get home…" The embarrassed redhead simply shut up and tried to finish his homework.

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><p><strong>Hungry<br>by abbiewarmheart51**

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><p><em>Set a few days after the Naming Ceremony in Unexpected. EmmerzK and I actually came up with this idea a long time ago but never could work it in so I'm really glad someone thought of it and made it work.<em>

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><p>Astrid picked up the crying infant; his sister screamed louder as she felt her mother's touch grab her twin instead of her.<p>

"Fearless Finn Haddock… Why are you always hungry?" She asked and went to sit down in a chair, this was the third time in the past six hours she had fed him.

The baby girl kicked and screamed even harder and Astrid took a deep breath. "Just wait sweetie! I'll feed you in a second…" she mumbled and started slipping her shirt off her shoulder to feed her wailing son.

She brought Finn to her chest so he could drink, and she sat there as a he suckled and made small gurgling noise as he swallowed. She jerked her head up as the oh so familiar 'step _thunk_' sound filled the house.

Hiccup stopped and stared at his tired wife feeding their son, and as he heard Adrianna hiccup and cry even harder he walked to the cradle and scooped her up. He didn't even need to ask to know what is going on.

"Hungry twins?" he joked as he bounced his daughter lightly in his arms.

"Very hungry twins… bring her here, she needs to be fed as well." Astrid pursed her lips and carefully slid the other side of the shirt down her shoulders.

"That old tunic working?" Hiccup asked and handed the tiny baby to her mother. Astrid glanced down and watched Adrianna suckle and dribble milk down her chin.

"This old tunic is making life easier, I just slide the wide neckline off my shoulders and bam, I can feed the twins." Astrid rambled and sighed as the girl stopped suckling and spit out a mouth full of milk, sending it down her mother's chest.

Hiccup sat in a chair he had pulled up, watching the twins drink, and his little daughter spitting out the milk and then drinking more. "Why do you think she does that? Spits out a mouthful of milk and then continues drinking?" He inquired curiously.

Astrid looked intently at the tiny face staring at her, and then at her husband. "I have no idea. It is like she doesn't like the taste and just can't handle drinking it, and then she wants more. I wish I knew." She replied and held Finn a little tighter as he squirmed.

"Take him, he's done." She stated and held the wiggling infant. Hiccup stood and grabbed his son, patting him on the back until he burped and then carrying him over to a window so he could see. Looking out windows appeared to be the boy's favorite thing.

Astrid held Adrianna close; the tiny girl never seemed quite full. She suckled until finally she stopped and just kept her mouth latched to her mother's breast; it had become a habit Astrid didn't dare break. Unless there was an emergency, Astrid carried her around as she kept her mouth there, ready to be fed at any moment.

Hiccup turned his head and glanced at his wife, she was leaning back in her chair, Adrianna still latched onto her, both his girls were nearly asleep.

He put Finn down in his cradle, where he quickly went to sleep, and then he walked as quietly as he could over to Astrid and Adrianna.

He looked at exhausted Astrid, sleeping, with her arms tightly around the baby. She was so tired, up feeding the twins, then taking care of them every moment he was away working in the blacksmith shop. He still worked, the villagers, his father, Gobber, everyone told him to go home, take care of his family, that they were fine, but he needed to make saddles and earn money. That was important as well. But, now he could see it. Why his family needed him to be home every minute of the day, and not gone from morning until early afternoon making enough money to buy supplies that the villagers would be happy giving to him instead.

Even that small time he was away working, was wearing Astrid down, she had to do everything, and she was tired.

He reached under her legs, and then wrapped his arm around her neck. He could still do this, yeah, of course he could. He was strong.

He picked mother and daughter up and with a heave carried them to the nearby sofa, where he placed them gently together, baby on top of mother, and set a blanket over Astrid's legs.

"Rest up." he said and kissed her forehead; she opened her eyes, saw him there, managing things, and went back to sleep. He was taking care of them.

Working at his desk, Finn asleep beside him in one of the many cradles placed in the house, Hiccup tinkered with the new designs, wiping out the blueprints and doing them again, over and over. This would help Astrid out so much!

He heard a tiny wail, and then a punctuating hiccup, and then more crying and hiccuping. His little angel was awake…

He carefully managed his way downstairs, and then picked her up, off of her mother, and into his arms. He pulled the blanket up over Astrid so she would be warm while she slept, and then he took the girl upstairs.

"Adrianna, sshhhh, your mommy is asleep, but I'm here. Yeah, daddy's here, you just rest." He bounced her in his arms until she drifted to sleep, and then he placed her in her cradle, and she started crying.

He picked her up and held her out at arms length. "What is wrong baby? I'm right here." He whispered to her. Her blonde wisps of hair curled and tickled her sweet little head.

He grabbed a small blanket and wrapped it over one shoulder, then he tied it where the two ends met and made it secure. He placed Adrianna in it and smirked at his quick invention. "A little sling for you to sleep in while I work." he said to her cheerfully and she curled down in the hammock like sling and gripped at the fabric surrounding her.

He sat down in his chair, glancing at Finn as he did, and went back to designing this new invention. He sketched a new pattern, "Perfect." he said under his breath excitedly, and glanced at tiny sleeping Adrianna. She was curled up, her head against his body, warm and snug inside the sling. Just to pay attention to him as well, Hiccup leaned down and scooped up Finn. He let his baby boy sleep on his shoulder, supporting him with one arm while he cleaned up his desk. He moved carefully so that the twins wouldn't wake up, and after making sure his new designs were safely placed in the right drawer, he leaned back and closed his eyes, absorbing the warmth and precious feeling of his two babies sleeping on him.

His eyes snapped open and met the gaze of a smirking blue eyed Valkyrie above him. "That was the best sleep I've had in a long time." Astrid said and sighed happily. Hiccup grinned and adjusted Finn's sleeping body.

"Awww, look at that! Daddy Hiccup letting his babies sleep on him." She gave a little smirk and then squinted at the blanket contorted around his body.

"Is our daughter sleeping in a sling?" She inquired and tilted her head in confusion. Hiccup laughed and grinned at Astrid. "Yes, she is indeed sleeping in a sling. It is actually pretty nice, she can sleep curled up on you, but you still have two free arms to use."

Astrid nodded and thought about the convenience this new sling would be. "I like it, I'll be using it from now on. So, any requests for our dinner?" Hiccup thought about it, and then nodded. "Yeah, anything but your cooking." he joked and promptly received a light smack to the shoulder before she kissed him. "I love you." she said and stared into his eyes.

"I love you too, Astrid. Forever and always. No matter what happens we will love and protect our family." Hiccup said and the couple looked at the two infants sprawled across their father, sound asleep. It was a treasured moment throughout the rest of their lives.

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><p><em>I hope you enjoyed these contributions and don't hesitate to contact the writers and thank them! I'll post any more I get here. You're more than welcome to write one and, of course, you'll get credit for it.<em>

_The guest writers worked really hard on these so please leave a review so they know how they did!_

_~KateMarie999_

_P.S. I recently had an issue with a reader who wrote a small section of one of my chapters because she claimed one of my side characters as her own (since that character was in the scene she wrote). Long story short, that's not okay. Thus I've had to change the rules a teeny bit. Any submissions entered will hereby be declared non-canon unless specifically stated otherwise. This means that the only canon stories in this series are the ones written by **amyboomerang** and me (or just me)._

_My sincerest apologies for any confusion this may cause. _


	11. The Dragon Fairy

_Sorry it's taken so long to update this! With a lot of setbacks with Growing Pains, I thought I'd do my best to keep something updated to satisfy you as you wait. This fic has been co-written by __**amyboomerang**__, who has also agreed to take up some of the slack in the next fic so EmmerzK has some time off to do other things. This fic, unlike some of the others, is actually fairly important to the future of the series, if only to make a few jokes in it a bit funnier. So without further ado, here is your next Fearless Fable!_

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><p><strong>The Dragon Fairy<strong>

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><p>Benen had always loved snow. The thick, crisp whiteness of the landscape outside his window made his heart feel freer than it had in a very long time. Snoggletog morning had come at last and he was excited to spend it with loved ones and new friends. Not wanting to waste a second of the holiday, he quickly rose from bed and put on his heavy jacket to brave the cold outside. As he exited the building, he was surprised to run headlong into a small, red haired blur rushing up to the door to greet him. The child hurled himself into his friend's arms, already chattering incoherently.<p>

"Slow down, Fearless Finn!" Benen exclaimed with a cheerful smile, returning the rather impromptu hug.

"Sorry!" Finn chirped. "I'm just _really_ excited because guess what, it's Snoggletog!"

"So I've heard." Said the elderly man through a laugh. "It's all anyone talked about for a month."

"Yes but this one is special!" Finn grasped his best friend's hand. "'Cause now you get presents too!" he tugged on Benen's arm. "Come on, Dad says you have to be there before we start opening them."

"Ahh so there is an ulterior motive." Benen winked at the boy. "Well, I guess there's no point standing around in the snow. Lead the way!"

The little boy skipped alongside his friend, trying to keep up with Benen's much longer strides. As they walked, he continued to ramble about the many traditions shared by the villagers during this special time of the year. Benen listened patiently, a smile on his face. He liked to see Finn happy, especially considering what he had gone through four months previously.

The Haddock house looked more like a decorated confection than anyone's dwelling. The Snoggletog lights were draped around its front, the coating of snow sparkling in the sun's rays. Benen was not given much time to enjoy the idyllic scene before a little girl threw open the door and, echoing her brother's footsteps a few minutes before, plunged into the man's arms.

"Happy Snoggletog, Anna." Benen patted the girl's head, which came up to his stomach.

"You're here! Finally!" she squealed. "Now we can get started!"

"Their devotion to you is very touching." Hiccup deadpanned from his position in the doorframe.

"Isn't it?" Benen smiled widely. "Well let's not keep them waiting any longer!"

"Hear hear!" Finn nearly dived into the house, his sister at his heels.

"Hello there, Benen." Astrid greeted him as he walked into the house. "Let me get your coat."

"Thank you but I can manage. I'm not wasting away just yet." Benen hung his coat on the stand next to the door.

He turned to the Snoggletog tree, which was nearly buried under the wrapped parcels beneath. Gobber was already sitting at the kitchen table with a large tankard filled with what Benen guessed was some very strong tea. He sat down next to the tree and watched Finn, who already had a present in his lap, fidget as he waited for everyone to sit down and watch him tear into it.

"All right, you two, I guess you've waited long enough." Hiccup said through a chuckle. "Go for it."

There were several loud ripping noises as the twins got started on what promised to be a very exciting morning.

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><p>And it <em>was<em> an exciting morning. Besides the new, properly fitted armor for Finn and four new books, filled with colorful pictures, for Adrianna, as well as the regular weapons collection from Gobber, updated wardrobe from Astrid, bizarre inventions from Hiccup, and hand carved sculptures from Benen, there was also one tooth mysteriously found in Finn's breakfast, which he claimed was _not_ the reason for the gaping hole in his mouth, and a precursory look into Adrianna's hand gifted birthday present for Erick (a picture book of one of their adventures that she had written and illustrated with some help from Hiccup).

"It's really awesome. They're all going like BOOM and BANG!" Finn exclaimed very suddenly with no lead-in.

"They… what?" Benen asked in confusion.

"The eggs!" Finn explained as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. Benen eyed the eggs from breakfast suspiciously. "Not _those_ eggs! The dragon eggs!"

"Oh." Benen said, his curiosity mounting. "That sounds exciting."

"It is!"

"But why would there be dragon eggs in all this snow?" Benen asked.

"Because-" Finn began but a louder voice cut him off.

"All right, you!" Astrid called. "It's time for your bath!"

"What?" Finn shouted indignantly. "No it's not! I bathed last week!"

"And that was one week too long ago." Hiccup said, making a face. "Listen to your mother."

"But mooooom-"

"You aren't allowed in the Great Hall if you haven't bathed for more than three days. It's the law." Hiccup said quite seriously.

"No it's not!"

"Well it will be when I get to the Great Hall for the party." Hiccup crossed his arms and stared down at his son. "You wouldn't want to miss the Snoggletog party for something so petty, would you?"

Finn scowled but did not respond. "Fine." He grumbled, following his mother to the washroom.

"Well now I have to go home and take care of some… things." Gobber sounded irritated made a face at Hiccup's now amused expression. "Meet you there." He left the house without another word

Adrianna turned to Benen. "They got the eggs!" she attempted to explain. "From the Dragon Fairy!"

"The _what_?"

"They have an easier time of it because they can fly." Adrianna said quite seriously. "Can I go to Erick's now?"

"Party is at four, Addie." Hiccup reminded her. "Don't go running off with him all day or I'll send out the entire Berkian fleet to look for you."

Adrianna nodded once and bolted out the door, running as fast as she could toward the village, her book clutched to her chest. Benen watched her run through the window for a moment before turning back to Hiccup.

"Should I ask questions or just accept the explanation I've been given?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hiccup laughed. "Well…"

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><p>The Great Hall was packed. Ordinarily, Hiccup enjoyed these harvest festivals because of good food and fellowship. Unfortunately, this one just had to fall on a rainy day, which trapped every single Berkian inside with very little to except east, talk, and, in the case of the younger ones, ask lots of questions.<p>

"And that's why ships need masts." Gobber was saying.

"Oh." Finn said, significantly wiser in his limited knowledge of ship building.

"Yes." Gobber said in a tone of finality that went completely over the three-year-old's head. "Now why don't you go play with those nice looking boys over there."

"But I was gonna ask why you is your hand a hook?"

"You know, Finn," Hiccup interrupted, thinking that dismemberment was not an appropriate topic for a child so young, "those boys really do look nice. Go play with them. You don't want to listen to all the boring adults talk."

Finn nodded and scampered away. Snotlout and Heather laughed as they watched him go, the latter shaking her head.

"You're so good at this." Heather said, eyeing Hiccup with an expression of admiration. "How do you do it?"

"Practice." Hiccup replied. "Lots and lots of practice. And getting to know your own children."

"Shouldn't be too hard then." Snotlout slipped an arm around his wife. "If Hiccup can do it, I mean."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence." Hiccup deadpanned. "And right in front of my daughter too. Your tact astounds me."

"Of course it does." Snotlout said, not missing a beat. "And Anna here doesn't mind learning new things about her dad."

Adrianna grinned and leaned on her father's side. Hiccup instinctively put an arm around her.

"I'm hungry." Heather stood up and patted her husband on the shoulder.

"Again?" Snotlout asked rather loudly.

Hiccup, Adrianna, and Gobber grinned amusedly when Heather cuffed her husband across the head. Snotlout made a face at her but she blew a kiss at him and turned toward the banquet, leaving Adrianna to be the lone female in a table full of men. Which was not altogether unusual for her.

"Daddy," Adrianna asked very innocently. "Why does Aunt Heather have a big tummy?"

"Well she's going to have a baby." Hiccup explained.

"Did she swallow it?" the girl's eyes widened in concern.

Snotlout let out a guffaw that he quickly turned into a hacking cough. Hiccup kept a straight face, though only barely.

"No, sweetie, babies can't breathe or eat by themselves so they have to grow inside their mommies so she can help them get ready to be born."

"Oh." Adrianna nodded. Her brow suddenly furrowed. "How do they get there."

Hiccup blanched. This was an even _less_ appropriate topic for his innocent little princess. "Well… ummm…"

"Yes, Hiccup!" a booming voice from above the Hooligan heir's head made everyone jump. "How do they get in there."

"Well, _Dad_," Hiccup said meaningfully, "you would know, now wouldn't you?"

Stoick chuckled. "Well yes but it's been a while and you're always so good at explaining technical things. You know, how… all those bits and pieces fit together in your workshop."

"Yeah… like pipes and such." Snotlout added conspiratorially.

"You built us in your workshop?" Adrianna asked, her eyes wide with innocent admiration. "Do you build all the babies in your workshop? Did you build Aunt Heather's baby?"

"He'd better not have." Snotlout said with a teasing dark tone. "He knows perfectly well who built that baby."

"Poppy, did you build Daddy in a workshop?" Adrianna turned to her grandfather.

"No, from what I remember, I built your father out in a cove somewhere…"

"Okay that was creepy!" Hiccup said, hoping the cove he was thinking about wasn't the one to which his father was referring. Although that would explain a few things…

"I wouldn't be surprised if your parents built you and Finn in the workshop." Snotlout muttered in a carrying voice.

"We didn't _build_ them anywhere!" Hiccup shouted over his friends' laughter, his face as red as his father's hair. "They were… gifts."

"Like Snoggletog gifts?" Adrianna's face brightened up at the idea of being given to her parents at such a happy occasion.

"Umm, yeah, that's the general idea." Hiccup scanned the Hall nervously for something to help him, his eyes finally landing on a portrait of a Nano-dragon. "You and Finn were gifts from… the Dragon Fairy!"

"Wow!" Adrianna grinned widely. "Really?"

"Yeah. That's exactly how it works." Gobber chortled.

"So why don't daddies carry the babies?"

"Well," Hiccup's mind scrambled for an explanation. "Because the daddies have to… climb the mountain."

"You had to climb a mountain?" Adrianna gasped. "Was it hard?"

"Oh yes. It's a long and treacherous journey. Full of obstacles and stuff. But daddies have to do it because they have to prove to the Dragon Fairy that they will be good daddies."

"So Uncle Snotlout's going to be a good daddy?"

"Well," Hiccup deadpanned as Heather returned with a plate overflowing with food. "Someone thought so."

"What happens when you get to the Dragon Fairy?"

"Well, the daddies then have to… dance." Hiccup continued.

"I've never seen you dance! Will you show me?"

"No." Hiccup said firmly. "It's a dance you only do on top of that mountain. AFTER you get married. And NEVER before. Very bad things happen when you do that particular dance before you're married."

"Hiccup… she doesn't know the dance yet." Heather said reassuringly. "But she might learn a few things if you keep going on about it."

"Is there something wrong with the dance, Aunt Heather."

"No but you can't do it until you're older." Snotlout told her.

"And married." Hiccup added.

"Okay. Then what do you do after the special dance?"

"Then the Dragon Fairy gives you a… an egg." Hiccup told her.

"An egg?"

"Yes. Which daddies then carry down the mountain and makes omelets for their wives."

"Oh so _that's_ what they're supposed to do, Snotlout!" Heather said rather loudly.

"Well I'm not making you another one until you're done digesting this one." Snotlout insisted.

"Oh. So then does the baby grow?" Adrianna asked.

"Yes. After the mommy eats the magic dragon egg, the baby starts to grow." Hiccup finished his story, feeling rather relieved.

"And then?"

"And then what?"

"How does the baby come out?"

"Oh, well… look at the time, I think maybe you should take your nap!"

"Daddy!"

"Now now, Hiccup," Stoick patted his son on the shoulder, "you can't leave your daughter with incomplete information. You've gotten this far, you might as well tell her everything."

"I don't remember _you_ telling me everything, dad."

"Yes, I believe that duty was delegated to me." Gobber muttered darkly.

"And I'm still scarred for life." Hiccup deadpanned.

"Daddyyyy…" another whine reminded him of his task.

"Well… the thing is… I don't know. I wasn't there."

"Mommy said were there."

"Oh… right… I forgot."

"You _forgot_?" Adrianna looked scandalized.

"No, no, my mind went blank for a moment. I was there. You see… you and Finn just kind of popped out!"

"Out of where?" Adrianna pulled her shirt up to look at her stomach. "Out of mommy's belly button?"

"Yes!" Hiccup exclaimed, glad that his daughter had supplied him with a good enough story. "It gets bigger and the baby comes out of it. There you go. That's where babies come from. Why don't you go play with your friends?"

Adrianna nodded, kissed her father on the cheek, and hopped off the bench. "So… why do boys have belly buttons?"

"Well… we'll talk about that some other time. Look! Why don't you go play with Taryn? She looks sad that she doesn't have anyone to play with."

Adrianna immediately scurried off to give Taryn some companionship and Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief.

"You did good, son." Stoick clapped Hiccup on the back, nearly making him do a faceplant into his food.

"Yes. Thank you for all your help." Hiccup grumbled at his laughing friends.

"Now you just have to figure out how you're going to tell her the real story when she's grown up." Heather grinned at the look of irritation on his face.

"I've already figured that out."

"How?"

"I'll let Astrid take care of it." Hiccup immediately took a large bite of chicken so that he wouldn't be able to answer any more questions.

* * *

><p>"And that was that." Hiccup concluded through Benen's gales of laughter. "I don't think it's quite time to set her straight yet."<p>

"I should say not." Benen agreed. "But don't wait too long or she might find out from someone else."

"As long as she's not going out and experiencing it, I can wait. I'm in no hurry." Hiccup shuddered at the thought.

"Well I can't fault you for lack of creativity." Benen said. "Although I wonder how she'll react when she finds out it was all a lie."

"Considering what the truth will entail, I think she'll be glad she didn't find out sooner." Hiccup shrugged. "It's not like I'll be telling her the sun never moves or something crazy like that."

"Very true." Benen agreed. "Finn, on the other hand, may experiment a bit so mind you explain things rather clearly."

"I'll leave that to you." Hiccup patted Benen's shoulder.

"Oh, is that why you brought me back to Berk?" Benen laughed. "I don't believe that's in my job description."

"I'll add it. Along with that law about bathing." Hiccup announced.

The door to the room suddenly burst open as Finn, half naked (fortunately his upper half), streaked through, looking wild with sopping wet hair.

"I don't want my hair cut!" he bellowed.

"It's coming down to your shoulders!" Astrid sprinted forward. "No girl is ever going to like you with that hair!"

"I don't wanna be liked by girls! That's gross!" Finn shrieked. "Girls are disgusting!"

"Well, maybe don't have to worry about Finn anytime soon." Hiccup said, laughing as he watched his wife grab his son and hold him down. "Let me give you a hand. Looks like you'll need one."

* * *

><p>The Great Hall was bright and loud with uninhibited celebration. The taps were flowing, the children playing, and adults singing loudly. Adrianna and Erick were running in circles around the adults' table playing a strange mixture of charades and tag—catch, act, and run—while Finn was, quite animatedly, showing off the tensile strength of his new armor before an admiring crowd, and a playfully ferocious Terrible Terror. Olaf, Benen, Astrid, and Hiccup were in an intense discussion about the chances of Gobber defeating the Village Elder in an arm wrestling discussion using his left arm.<p>

"I think they'd be rather evenly matched," Hiccup insisted.

"But all the Village Elder would have to do to win would be to twist off the attachment—" Olaf grabbed a hunk of bread off of the table to demonstrate, "and he'd have no leverage left to speak of."

"But her arms are as wide a Terrible Terror tooth!" Hiccup interjected.

"She's strong, though," Astrid added helpfully, "I once saw her wrestle a yak out of a storage shed."

"We were four!"

"And she was like a hundred!"

"Aye," Benen said, "and one should never doubt the power of a centenarian."

Hiccup opened his mouth reply that Benen could hardly know that while still in his spry sixties, but was cut off by Heather throwing the remainder of a tankard of ale on her husband.

"How DARE you speak that way to me!" She shrieked. "After all I do for you! After the children I have birthed, painfully, and raised, carefully, for you!"

The children's playing around the room came to a stop so that they could watch the unfolding theatrics. Even the adults seemed to quiet down somewhat so that they could spy, however indiscreetly, on their neighbors.

"Ah," Astrid muttered quietly into her husband's ear, "is it my imagination or might it be *that* time of the month."

"I just meant that you are a very healthy size for a woman who's painfully birthed my children. It was a compliment!"

"You think I'm hideous!" She threw a drumstick at him, the meat flying into a fire behind him. "You wish that you had never married me!"

"No, I—" Snotlout struggled for a reply that would not end in one of the pies being smashed onto his face. "I was just trying to say that you're a strong, resilient type—"

"You think I'm masculine?!" Heather seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"No! I—"

"Perhaps not," Hiccup whispered back, "perhaps it's another baby."

"Should we start a betting pool?" Astrid asked conspiratorially as Snotlout continued to struggle for an acceptable explanation to why he had described his wife as "more filled out since marriage" while comparing her to the tiny bride in a newlywed couple at the adjacent table.

"Nah," Lara chipped in helpfully, "trust me in this one. She's had enough babies for one lifetime."

"You said the same thing, dear," Olaf interjected, "after Aud was born." He jerked his head towards Erick, who was creeping towards Hiccup alongside a confused looking Adrianna.

"Daddy," Adrianna whispered, trying to stay quiet enough that only the immediate company could hear her. Hiccup turned to her just as Heather stormed out of the Great Hall in tears, her husband left defeated amongst the remnants of his dinner.

"What is it sweetheart?" The noise in the hall began to return to usual, after the obligatory nervous laughter as the audience all suddenly realized that the spying had been a communal, and not particularly secretive, act.

"Erick and I were wondering," Adrianna began innocently. Hiccup felt relief flood him. She was not about to ask about the scene that they had just witnessed. "What's 'that time' of a month?"

Hiccup's mouth dropped. He couldn't believe the tiny ears had overheard that conversation over the noise. Olaf choked on the cinder he had just taken to drink.

"What? Oh, um… The Harvest—"

"No, not that, Chief Hiccup, sir. The time that the women in town talk about it. They always say that it's 'that time' or 'not that time' when they are talking about each other." Erick clarified helpfully.

"Children hear and see everything," Benen chuckled. Hiccup stared blankly ahead, desperately attempting to find a convenient way out. Suddenly it came to him.

"I don't really know, Addie," he said quickly, standing up from the table. "I mean, it's a woman's business, now isn't it? So, Astrid, Lara…" The other men at the table took the hint to quickly remove themselves from the situation. "Please, illuminate them. I have, uh, laws to go write."

"Laws?" Olaf whispered as they fled the table.

"About bathing," Benen replied quietly.

"And the duties of freed slaves on Berk," Hiccup added.

Astrid glowered after their retreating backs as the children turned their attention on the designated teachers of the evening. "I'll get you for this later, Hiccup!" She shouted after him.

"I'm sure you will," he shouted back, "but I think I'm gonna write a law about that as well!"

"Half of the Council is female! We will overturn your laws!"

"Yea," Hiccup turned to face his wife from the door leading out of the Great Hall, "but by the time you do that, you'll probably have forgotten what you want revenge for."

"I'll remind him Mommy!" Adrianna chirped helpfully. Astrid smiled at her, hoping she had managed to forget her question amidst the men's scramble to escape.

Her hopes were unfounded. As she reached for another swig of her yak's milk, Adrianna took the lull in the conversation as an opportunity to restate her question.

"So… what is 'that time' of the month?"

Astrid spat the milk across the table as she began coughing heavily. Yes, Hiccup was definitely going to pay for this.

"Well, sweetie," she said, wiping her mouth and turning to the two children at her elbow, "as a girl gets older…"

After this, both Adrianna and Erick learned never to ask their mothers questions about biology, or anything related to women. Ever.

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed this one! Believe it or not, this one-shot was actually set up in Little Miracles but we never got around to writing it until now. I hope you like amyboomerang's writing because she will be coming onto the Growing Up Haddock project as a sort of tertiary writer and creative consultant. Hopefully this will speed up the chapters.<em>

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	12. Reader Submission: Spring Day

_Another reader submission! When I posted in the first chapter of Growing Pains that I was looking for a co-author, I came up with a prompt to kind of get an idea of where anyone who wanted to help stood by way of talent and accuracy for the characters and their interactions. So I gave the prompt to one interested person and she come through splendidly! I did a lot of editing, mostly to add some dialogue to make it flow a bit better, but most of it is the same. I shall post the prompt itself in the author's note at the end of the story. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Spring Day<br>****by waiting4princecharming**

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><p>The sun was shining, Terrible Terrors were singing from the rooftops, and it was a beautiful spring morning. But Erick Larson wasn't paying attention to the sunshine or the warm temperature. On this particular day, his mind was focused on other, more important things. He had been looking for his best friend all morning in all their usual spots: Troll Bridge, the funny little cove they'd run across, the arena, the beach... but she was nowhere to be found. He wanted to surprise her with the small leather pouch he had made for her flower clips, but it seemed like all the work he had done last night trying to finish it in time to give it to her that morning had been for naught. And his voice was hoarse from calling her name all over the village. The Larson boy sighed, moments away from giving up and hoping that he'd see her skipping by his house by midday.<p>

Discouraged, Erick walked back up the path to his house, kicking rocks away as he went. The sun was high in the sky, and the weather was unseasonably warm, with no clouds in sight. It was a truly rare day in Berk when it was spring and it wasn't raining. Pushing open the door to his house, Erick sighed again, unhappy that he couldn't spend the warm spring day with his best friend. Trudging into the kitchen, Erick spotted his father immediately. Olaf Larson wasn't hard to miss, though not for the most pleasant reason. Still, he didn't let his wheeled chair get in the way of his life. Today, he was kneading some dough. When he saw his son, he smiled amiably. The youngest Larson plopped into one of the old wooden chairs that sat around the worn table in the center of the room.

"Why the long face?" Olaf asked.

"I can't find Annie" Erick explained. "I've looked everywhere."

"I see. Nice day like this? I would have thought she'd be pounding on our door first thing in the morning." the Larson patriarch chuckled. "She's probably wandered off somewhere. That girl would lose her head if it wasn't attached."

"Maybe..." Erick put his chin in his hands. "You think she's avoiding me?"

"No!" Olaf exclaimed as if the statement had been in some way offensive. "At least she'd better not be. If you two stopped being friends, you'd never leave the house."

Erick made a kind of offended huffing noise at this statement. "I would! I'd need to go to the outhouse a few times!"

"You know perfectly well what I meant." Olaf narrowed his eyes at the boy and pointed a spatula at him. "You know, you could try putting that dragon of yours to good use. Don't Nadders have a keen sense of smell?"

"Well sure, but do you think he'd..." Erick trailed off. The suggestion had some merit. Actually the suggestion was so obvious, he was mildly annoyed that he hadn't thought of it. "Well I guess it depends on what flower she's wearing today."

"He'd find her. She's not hard to miss." Olaf waved the spatula as if attempting to make his son obey its movements. "Off you go, come back this evening with grass stains and a wild story about some new world you two made up. Any day that doesn't end that way is a wasted day for you two."

Erick grinned. "You're a lifesaver!" the boy slid off the chair and scampered over to his father, hugging him quickly and running out the door. "See you later!" he called as he bolted to the dragon pen.

Olaf chuckled and wheeled his chair back to where it was before, continuing his work on the dough mound and hoping that Adrianna would keep his son occupied for most of the day so he wouldn't realize his father was making his favorite cookies for dessert that night.

Erick was usually a quiet boy but he was excited so, naturally, he made quite a bit of noise as he bounded over to the pen and threw open the door.

Charger raised his head in surprise. "Charger!" the Larson boy yelled excitedly. "Want to go on a t-" He was rather abruptly interrupted when, picking up on his riders excitement, Charger had head butted him as he tried to get the saddle on. Erick flew into the side of the pen, groaning when his body hit the hard wood. "Charger! NOT helpful!" Preening, the dragon bounded in circles, avoiding his rider and congratulating himself on the excellent headbutt. "C'mon you useless reptile, I just want to find Annie."

Her name caused a funny little shiver to travel down his spine and linger in his stomach, making him slightly nervous again. The thought of her made him jittery sometimes, and he couldn't place why. It was still a mystery to him. Then again, he had worked _so_ hard on her present and he _really_ wanted her to like it. That had to be it. There was no other explanation that made any sense.

Finally succeeding at strapping the saddle to his dragon's back (it took a record ten minutes; clearly he was starting to get accustomed to his new dragon), he climbed on and they took off into the sky. Erick watched as the village got smaller and smaller, but Charger had no intention of stopping. He gave a little victorious trill at the thrill of being in the sky until Erick coaxed him back down so he could scan Berk for a little blonde head with a flower clip in her hair, a flowing, brightly colored skirt, and a cheerful gait. He finally spotted her and guided Charger down to the bridge she was sitting on, swinging her legs over the water. But something was wrong. For one thing, the girl wasn't at one of _their_ bridges, which made him think that she might want to be left alone. For another, she certainly didn't look like she'd skipped over in the carefree manner he had always come to associate with her.

However, the most disconcerting thing was when he touched down. The girl didn't even look up. At all. "Annie?" he ventured carefully, knowing full well that the wrong words could shut her down completely when she was this upset.

"Erick." She wiped her eyes before looking up. "Wh-what are you doing here?" She asked with a sniff.

"I came to..." Erick shook his head. The pouch could wait. He sat down next to her as closely as he dared. "Doesn't matter right now. Are you okay?"

"Fine." she mumbled to her knees.

Erick usually could tell when someone was lying but he didn't need to think about it this time. Adrianna Haddock was a lot of things but gloomy was not one of them.

"What's wrong?" Erick tried again.

"You're not a girl" She said in a small voice.

"Umm... no. Is that a problem?" Erick furrowed his brow.

"No!" Adrianna exclaimed, now a little distressed that she may have inadvertently insulted her friend by insinuating that his gender was a problem. "But you wouldn't understand."

"Your skirt clashed with your shirt?" Erick quipped with a small smile. "Gods, that was a bad joke, sorry."

But Adrianna let out a tiny giggle, which made him feel rather proud of himself. "No. At least I don't think so. I'm not very good at... but no, that's not why."

"So... why then?" Erick scooted closer to her. "Come on, tell me."

Adrianna bit her lip and paused for a few seconds before spilling everything on her mind in one long exhale. "I was just out walking and I saw Morgan and Taryn and they were playing a game but when I asked if I could play, Morgan said no because I was weird and I'd mess it up." she wiped her face with the heel of her hand. "Am I weird?"

"No." Erick said in a very firm voice. "They're weird for not liking you."

"What?" Adrianna looked directly at him, the redness of her eyes making their emerald green color pop in a way it only did when she was most upset.

You're amazing." Erick said with conviction, blushing a little bit at the end. "And I don't say that about a lot of people. Actually..." he scratched his chin idly, "I don't say that about anyone except Dad. But I mean it. You're one of the most amazing people I know."

"Do you really think so?"

"Of course! You're my best friend." Erick said unabashedly. "And Charger likes you too." Right on cue, his dragon squawked and nosed her cheek, blowing into her hair. She giggled and hiccuped, a tiny smile returning to brighten her face once more and making the boy don his own smile at the sight. "You know what else?" Erick added, trying to see if he could make her smile more. "I bet they don't like you because you're so smart, you make them look stupid. I've never met anyone who could think her way out of a problem like you can. Like remember last week when the evil king cornered us and you thought of climbing the tree and knocking him out with a branch as he walked by?" he was, of course, referencing one of the many adventures they'd had in the past few weeks since spring had started. "Morgan and Taryn would have never thought of it! They're not smart enough."

Just as he'd hoped, Adrianna looked delighted. Suddenly, without warning, she leaned over and grabbed him around the middle, hugging him rather tightly. "You're the best friend anyone could have, Erick." She said cheerfully.

Erick's face reddened at the contact, but he didn't waste a second in hugging her back, closing his eyes and taking in every detail so he could ruminate on it next time his mother lectured him for some stupid reason. The way the soft breeze blew through the treetops and the way the water gurgled in the stream beneath his feet... every piece of the scene was logged in his brain. He tried not to pay attention to the way she fit perfectly in his arms but even that seemed to register in his mind, as awkward a thought as it was...

"You're my bestest friend too, Annie." he said, smiling into her hair. "And hey," he pulled out the pouch and let go of her just long enough to hand it to her, "this is for you. To store your hair clips." _Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush!_

"Erick, I... you..." Adrianna was lost for words, which was a rarity for a girl who was usually so charry. Suddenly she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

Erick blushed.

As they began to talk about where they had left off in their previous adventure, the Larson boy's spirits soared. Maybe they could still enjoy the spring day after all.

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><p><em>Short and sweet, just the way I like it! Well, sweet mostly seeing as I don't mind long submissions in the slightest. Reading Growing Up Haddock material that I didn't write myself is one of the most fun parts of writing these fics, as all of my helpers can attest! Thank you SO much, <strong>waiting4princecharming<strong>!_

_Anyway, the writing prompt is simple: write a one-shot about your favorite ship for either twin and send it to me! I'll do some edits and post it here! I really hope I get some submissions because I'd love to know what you all think of these two cuties or perhaps Finn and one of his girls._

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	13. The Second First Anniversary

_Time for a lighthearted piece!_

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><p><strong>The Second First Anniversary<strong>

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><p>THUD.<p>

"Why does Mom have so much junk?" Finn asked as they dumped the third chestful of miscellaneous items onto the kitchen table.

"Why do you give Mom so much junk?" Adrianna retorted, pulling a poorly carved miniature bow and arrow set which Finn had made for their mother's birthday when he was six. "Oh dear, it's broken. And the blueberry-staining is wearing off."

"Shut up." Finn snapped. "Its not like your one-glove wonder is much better."

"It was supposed to be decorative."

"Calm down, you two," Benen called from under the heap of discarded knickknacks. "Your parents will be back any time now from the Academy. We only have a few more minutes for you to finish your...er... 'cleaning.'"

"It was your idea we do this instead of making something for Mother's Festival this year." Finn said as he began to sort through the items to "re-sort" into drawers which they would be able to close. "Father's Festival is always better than Mother's. All we do for Mother's is clean, and decorate, and have dances, and sewing competitions, and other girly things."

"We have a baking competition," Adrianna threw in, helpfully. "And we all know how much you like-"

"Eating," Finn interrupted, reddening slightly. "And I do love _eating_, but in all honesty it's much more exciting watching the ax-throwing and the sports meet, and the great hunt-off. I mean, when else get to eat fire-roasted eagle?"

"When someone accidentally shoots one into forge?"

Finn glowered at his sister over Benen's laughter. "That was a rhetorical question."

"Wonder who taught you that one..."

Finn's comeback was choked back in his mouth as he opened the worn out parchment he had just pulled from inside of a misplaced slipper. The smudged and faded charcoal on the outside of the folded sheet was labeled, "To My Beautiful, Talented, and Patient Wife".

"What in Asgard's name is this?" Finn gingerly began to pull open the document.

"Don't read that! That looks like it's a personal letter from Dad to Mom!" Adrianna took a swipe at the paper, but Finn pivoted on his heels to prevent her grasping hands from taking their prize.

"Oh, come on. When will we have this chance again? And its not like she was hiding it, really—I mean, it's in the kitchen!"

"But it could be a love letter, and do you really want that?"

"If it's Dad, yeah. Mom's letters to him, not so much." Finn cleared his voice to begin reading aloud. "'A Proclamation of My Love, on This Day, Our Second First Anniversary, to My Dearly Beloved Wife-"

Adrianna groaned, "This is going to be horrible! What on earth is a 'second first anniversary'?"

"Sounds like he messed up pretty badly," Benen winked at Adrianna. "Are you sure you don't want to know?"

It was too late, Adrianna and Finn were both poring over the writing at once, stifling giggles and battling for prime reading positions.

"What on earth is this? It makes no sense-" Finn began, just as the main door swung open.

"-But if they can't keep their dragons out of Gobber's outhouse, they can't very well complain about us telling them to bathe them more often, Hiccup!"

"Look, it's not their fault that Gobber-" Hiccup stopped speaking suddenly as his eyes landed on the paper his children had. He made a mad lunge for it, snatching it forcefully from their hands.

"What did you have there?" Astrid asked, raising an eyebrow at her husband's behavior.

"We were just about to ask _Dad_ that question." Adrianna replied.

"Its nothing. It should have been burned. Destroyed. I already have to hear about it every October-"

"Oh!" Astrid's eye lit up with realization. "That! How could I ever destroy that? Its the perfect pick me up after a bad day!"

"Whose?" Hiccup snapped back.

"You should have heard him singing it to me... in front of the whole village..."

"They did, but they were crying the whole time." Hiccup deadpanned.

"Maybe they thought you were crying as well?" Astrid quipped, grabbing the paper out of his hands. "We had a bad day today, perhaps I should read it aloud for us all."

"Or for the full effect," Benen added helpfully, smiling quietly, "you should sing it."

"I can't carry a tune," Astrid stated without looking up, "then again, neither can Hiccup."

The twins grinned mischievously as they saw their father shift uncomfortably from leg to peg. "Mom, why was Dad writing you a love song?"

"Obviously for our second first anniversary." Astrid pointed to the top line on the sheet. "You should have at least read that far."

"What happened at the first first anniversary?"

"Nothing worth talking about." Hiccup grumbled, resignedly sitting beside the still partially buried Benen at the table.

"Now, now," Astrid grinned wickedly, "we might as well begin at the beginning. And you did only have one job, dear..."

* * *

><p>"Hiccup, how could you forget to get a babysitter?!" The village seemed to shake with the force of Astrid's anger.<p>

"I was busy!" Hiccup shouted back.

"With what? You've been out scouting all week with Toothless, while I've been watching the twins. Alone most of the time!" Astrid's voice seemed to hit a new decibel at this point.

"I thought you loved mother time!"

"I would love it more if they spent _some_ time with their father!"

"I hold them every night when I get home before we put them down to bed!"

"For a half hour! I hold them, and nurse them, and clean them, and clean up after them all day!"

"I do it on weekends!"

"Rarely! You know, I've noticed, when they're calm they're _your _children, but if they start to cry or stink or spit up, they're _my _children."

"Have you ever tried to wash spit up out of leather? It's worse than dragon drool!"

"Have you seen my clothes?" Astrid made a wild gesture to her outfit. Hiccup was struck momentarily silent. In fact, the whole village center where the argument was taking place had momentarily gone silent. Every person was watching, waiting to see how he would talk his way out of this one.

"Look, you sprung this on me this morning! How was I supposed to get a babysitter in that amount of time?"

Astrid's chest heaved as she tried to lower her voice back to a more controlled speaking tone. "No, _dear_, we discussed this a week ago. We made _plans_ a week ago, to spend this evening, just the _two_ of us, and I _reminded_ you this morning."

"Sunday evening is a rather random time to go on a date, Astrid, and I had to prepare for tomorrow's dragon rider tests!"

"It's our anniversary! Our _first_ anniversary, how can you manage to forget that?" Astrid wadded up the edge of her skirt in rage, trying not to throw one of her axes in her husband's general chest area.

"We have children!"

"Oh, they're _our_ children now!" Astrid began to finger the axe on her right hip menacingly.

"You know exactly what I mean!"

Astrid, in a lightning flash, pulled the axe from its place and implanted it with a solid THUD into one of the planks framing the well on which Hiccup was currently leaning. Hiccup hurled himself to the side as the axe sailed past him, and glowered back at his irate wife.

"Killing me is only going to make things more difficult in the long run, you know!"

Astrid grabbed the handle of her axe and ripped it out of the wood with splintering force. "Well," she hissed at him as she waved the weapon under his nose as she turned to stalk off, "it will certainly make me _feel_ better."

Hiccup glowered at Astrid's retreating figure. A somewhat sheepish Gobber crept up alongside Hiccup and cleared his throat calmly.

"Well, that brought back memories." he announced in what he hoped was a firm, but friendly tone.

"And what does that mean?" Hiccup growled back at his old mentor.

"Well, your parents were similar when you were a baby," Gobber replied. "I mean, once they came to blows over a misplaced belt buckle—but, well, I imagine it is somewhat... complicated... by the presence of twins."

"So what should I do to prevent blows?"

"Well..." Gobber thought aloud slowly, "I might suggest dressing in full armor until she calms down, and maybe getting a touch better at hand to hand combat—"

"Not really helpful," Hiccup massaged his forehead with his thumb and index finger, brainstorming a way to work his way out of this mess. The village square had, thankfully, returned to its regular deafening roar, and he was out of the spotlight for a few minutes.

"Well, you should probably get a babysitter. And, well, if that still doesn't make her happy, you might consider the last resort of apologizing."

"I don't think she is very willing to listen to me right now." Hiccup countered.

"Well... Ask your father what he did in such circumstances," Gobber suggested in an almost too cheerful way. "I'm sure that what he did would work for you as well."

* * *

><p>Hiccup never made it to his father that evening, as shortly after leaving Gobber he was stopped by Heather who had offered to take the twins for the evening as a 'parental trial-run' for Snotlout, her prospective fiance. Hiccup, for once, decided that while it may be against his better judgment to leave anything precious in Snotlout's hands and had easily abandoned them to the young couple. They embarked on an evening of cuddling, cooing, and playing in Heather's main room, while Hiccup and Astrid embarked on a far less enjoyable evening of stony silences, avoiding eye contact, and awkward conversation. It got so uncomfortable that Hiccup opted that rather than sleeping with his seething wife it would be far warmer and more inviting to sleep with Toothless in his pen behind the house.<p>

So much for anniversaries.

The next morning, after a cold and somewhat less than appetizing meal of vaguely carbonized fish and stale bread, Hiccup made the frigid early morning walk of shame up to his father's house.

"Dad, my wife hates me," he announced upon entering the house.

"So I heard her say yesterday, loudly." Stoick the Vast was still draped in his less than formal evening-wear. "In fact, I think the whole village heard it."

Hiccup groaned and sunk into a chair. "How do I fix this?"

"Have you considered apologizing?"

"She was oddly deaf anytime I tried to speak to her, so, no, I didn't. Oh, gods, my marriage is over. It's only been a year and it's over. Do you think I will be allowed to raise one of the children?"

"No, I-"

"Of course not, who would want a father like me? I'm horrible. I'm irresponsible. The gods never should have given me children-"

"Well, you played a role in-"

"Do you think I will have visitation rights? No—of course not, I will only get to see them once a year on their birthdays to apologize for being such a deadbeat-"

"Son!" Stoick shouted over Hiccup's confused ramblings, smothering a smile. "How long has it been since you got a full night's sleep?"

"I don't know. A week. A month. A few months. I don't know. I don't remember. I almost got one last night, though, minus the horrible thoughts of divorce and losing my family forever, and Toothless's snoring, and the itchy hay, and whatever it was that was digging into my back—"

"Son, I think you may be overreacting... _just_ a touch."

Hiccup looked rather close to tears at this point, possibly from sheer desperation—or the lack of sleep, but who's to say—and was having a hard time absorbing his father's advice.

"It's over, you don't understand!"

"Just apologize, Hiccup! Women like it when men admit that they're wrong!"

"What if she doesn't accept it and I can't raise my children and I can't be there when they walk and talk and to teach Finn to shave or chase the boys away from Addie because she's so pretty and-"

"Run-on sentences are not going to help you win your case with Astrid, son." Stoick interrupted again. "You are going to need to find some way of expressing your feelings sincerely to your wife. Now, when your mother was angry with me I would write her love songs and perform them for her, or I would collect her favorite wild flowers from Itchy Armpit Island—I had to row there overnight to get them you see, among the wild, and then at war with us dragons—and she did always manage to forgive me once we cleaned the bloodstains up."

"Dad, what are you saying?"

"I am saying, that you need to perform an act of love for your wife that will prove your utter devotion to her, despite whatever circumstances might come against you."

"And if she won't take me back?"

"You're not moving back here."

"Thanks, Dad. Really encouraging."

* * *

><p>Astrid was still stewing by that evening as she sat with two small infants, like bookends, swaddled on either side of her. Her food was basically untouched before her, which was rare as it was a feasting night on Berk, and the food was uncommonly tasty. She had not seen her pitiful excuse for a husband since early that morning, and Astrid was not feeling particularly forgiving at that moment. The babies had screamed all day, and without her husband to assist with diapers, cuddling, and playing between feedings, she had not been able to accomplish a single thing since she'd awakened.<p>

Heather and Snotlout were, incidentally, not helping, as they sat on the opposite side of the table, giggling, occasionally canoodling or going in for a quick snog, between making faces at the twins and saying things like, "I hope our kids are cuter than Hiccup's."

"Our kids are beautiful!" Astrid had interrupted at once. "My genes made sure of that!"

Before Astrid had managed to work up enough ire to strangle the couple across from her, she felt a sudden, albeit slight, series of pinches and thwacks as something light, pointy, and distinctly floral fell onto her head. She just managed to catch sight of the offending delivery Terrible Terror as it took off, chattering to itself in its own tongue and whizzing around the Great Hall. She pulled a bouquet of large, though now somewhat bent, red flowers—complete with an ample arrangement of thorns.

"Ahem!" A voice cut across the general din of the eating Vikings. "AHEM!"

Silence. Astrid spotted Hiccup standing atop one of the tables in the front-most and most elevated sections of the room.

"Well, as I'm sure you all know, I have been somewhat... stupid recently."

"Here, here!" A few Vikings shouted in response to this opening, mostly female.

Hiccup pinkened slightly at the attention, suddenly beginning to regret that the entire tribe was staring at him during his confession of love. "I have felt the need to apologize. Just as publicly as our argument. So hopefully my wife can't walk away." He cleared his voice, feeling nervous. "So on the advice of my father," Stoick could be seen behind Hiccup, vehemently shaking his head and making slicing gestures across his throat, "and with the assistance of Gobber," who was holding up his panpipes and grinning widely, "I am going to present my adamant song of love to my wife."

Astrid could feel the eyes slowly shift from her husband to herself as at least a hundred Viking bodies rotated in their seats so that they could get a better look at her. Gobber blew a few notes on his pipes to warm up, and Hiccup cleared his throat as he pulled a peace of parchment out of the inside of his shirt.

Astrid already knew this was not going to go well.

"'A Proclamation of My Love, on This Day, Our Second First Anniversary, to My Dearly Beloved Wife, Astrid. A Song, by Hiccup, her Husband.'" He read. As soon as the introduction was finished, Gobber began to play a series of somewhat doleful notes on his panpipes. Hiccup glanced down at him in concern. "Gobber, I told you to play a song that I knew how to sing _and_ one that would fit the poem!" He hissed.

Gobber paused his performing to hiss back, "I did read the poem, and this song is definitely the one which will best represent your relationship with Astrid when this is over."

"A _funeral dirge_? You have nothing more upbeat?"

"It's this or 'A Viking Through and Through'. Take your pick!"

The audience had begun to giggle. Astrid could feel her face beginning to flush in embarrassment.

Hiccup cleared his voice again, and opened his mouth to release one of the saddest, off-pitch, and possibly most painful sounds known on the island of Berk. His singing.

"'_Your eyes are as blue as the sea,  
><em>_And it makes me so happy when they're looking at me.  
><em>_So don't look away, my love!  
><em>_I pray to all the gods above.  
><em>_I love you more than flowing springs,  
><em>_I love you more than studying dragon things,  
><em>_And we all know how much I love that  
><em>_Because you're always yelling at me to do my housework instead of that,'"_

Hiccup and Gobber had obviously not thought to match the line length to the pattern in the song, and they were beside themselves speeding up and slowing down their tempos to match the words.

"'_I love you more than the things we pilfer,  
><em>_Which is nothing but if we did I would love you more than the gold and leather and the silver.  
><em>_Your kisses are much better than a yak's,  
><em>_And you look so much better from the back... than a yak of course...  
><em>_You are such an amazing Mom to Finn and Addie,  
><em>_Much better than their crazy deadbeat daddy!_'"

It was beginning to get hard to hear the song over the gales of laughter, but judging from the fact that Astrid's face was no less red than the flowers she was smothering her face into, it was plain to see that Astrid could hear every horrible word. She had, in fact, begun to shake, almost violently.

"'_I love everything about you from head to toe,  
><em>_And from flask to flagon!  
><em>_If I had to choose between you and Toothless, it'd be hard  
><em>_But I wouldn't choose the dragon!'"_

Astrid got up and quickly began to walk towards the entrance to the Great Hall, a fact that was not lost on Hiccup, who instantly sped up his singing in hopes of being able to chase her out before she managed to hide herself. This was not working out as well as he had hoped.

"'_Astrid, dear, forgive this wretched man  
><em>_And take me back into your heart agan!'"_

As soon as the last, painfully forced, rhyme had left Hiccup's mouth, he raced across the table top and jumped to the floor, giving chase.

"Wait, Astrid!"

He got to the door just before it slammed close, and he slipped out into the cold October night right behind his red, shaking wife. He could hear her breathing heavily and she turned resolutely away from him.

_'Great,'_ he thought, _'I've gone and made things worse. Now she's really mad!'_

Fully expecting her to explode at any moment, Hiccup crept forward gingerly. "Astrid?"

He had barely gotten the name out from his lips before Astrid exploded into laughter. Her body shook and she had to drop to her knees on the stone steps to keep herself from falling. When Hiccup finally got a look at her face, he could see that she was in tears.

"You _idiot_!" She smacked him hard on the shoulder. "Why would you sing that? It was terrible!"

"Eh?" Hiccup felt somewhat confused, and was not sure if he should be insulted or not. "I was just trying to express my sincere apology for upsetting you-"

"By embarrassing us both in front of the whole village!" Astrid was finally catching hold of herself again and was able to look at her husband (though, not quite in the eye yet).

"Look, Astrid... I'm really sorry. I just didn't want you to leave me or to stay mad at me forever."

Astrid stood up, still smothering the last of her giggles, and looked at her husband as steadily as she could.

"So... would you forgive me?" He asked, feeling terribly nervous and suddenly not as confident that this would go well.

"Of course. I wasn't thinking of leaving you or anything." Astrid replied honestly.

"Really?" Hiccup's face broke into a smile.

"Yeah, not at least until the kids were old enough to use the outhouse on their own. Trying to change all those diapers by myself is a real pain." Seeing a look of terror flood back into Hiccup's face caused Astrid a slight twinge of regret at her painful barb. She smiled slightly and leaned forward and pulled her husband into a well missed kiss. After a moment of surprise, Hiccup wrapped his arms around her and returned the affections.

"So..." Astrid pulled out of the kiss after a few moments. "Do I want to know how you know I kiss better than a yak?"

"No. Let's just say that some of our friends have a cruel sense of humor." He kissed his wife on the brow, "I missed you, Astrid."

"I missed you too."

The serenity was broken by a shrill, anguished cry from inside the Great Hall—which was rapidly reinforced by a second, slightly quieter and hiccup-filled cry. Suddenly the young couple realized that they had, in fact, been missing something in their touching scene. Two somethings. Two _unhappy_ somethings.

"The twins! I left them with Heather and Snotlout!"

"What?!"

They turned and began to run up the steps, only to be met by the couple in question at the door.

"Hate to interrupt this precious moment," Snotlout said, "but I think these two want to eat."

"Ah, thanks, I was just coming back for them," Astrid reached for the nearest child.

Snotlout handed Finn over with no regrets. As Astrid looked around for a comfortable place to feed them, Heather leaned over an whispered into her ear. "Give the twins back when you're done. Snotlout and I will watch them for a while. He needs more practice... and, I think you two might like some privacy."

"Thanks," Astrid whispered back. "I think we'll take you up on that. It is our second first anniversary, after all."

* * *

><p>"And to this day, we still celebrate our second first anniversary." Astrid ended the story resolutely.<p>

"Well, _we_ don't. Everyone else does."

"I wondered why everyone sang at you the day after your anniversary." Adrianna chirped, smiling widely to now be in on the joke.

"Does this mean we can join them this year?" Finn asked excitedly. "Since we know the words now, and all."

"Not on your life!"

"Will you write me a song for my birthday then?" Finn tried again.

"And me!" Adrianna chimed in.

"No, and no!"

"Wouldn't you choose _us_ over Toothless too?" Adrianna tried again.

"Won't you stop asking loaded questions? Now you've had your stories, go to bed!"

"Its the middle of the afternoon!"

"Then take your naps!"

"We're twelve!"

"I'll take _my_ nap then!" Hiccup stormed up the stairs, still red around the ears, and muttering under his breath.

"Now, now, kids," Astrid laughed, "it'll probably be a good ten or twelve years before you can tease your father about that and he won't stomp out."

"Though, admittedly, it does make a wonderfully memorable piece to your love story," Benen laughed.

"Did you ever write any love songs for Aida?" Finn asked, dropping down in front of his mentor.

"No, and I think she thought that was best as well. Especially after she heard about the song I wrote for my mother after I broke her favorite vase."

"This I have to hear!" Adrianna sat beside her brother and looked eagerly at Benen for the next story.

Benen opened his mouth to begin the tale only to be cut off by Astrid. "Before we start another story, does someone want to tell me what in Thor's name is the reason there's a huge mess in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, about that Mom... we'll get back to that! You go take a nap with Dad!"

"I think I'd rather hear the story," Astrid said, taking Adrianna and Finn's rapidly vacated seats.

"Well, then, as you clean, I will share with you my story of abject humiliation. It all began when my sister and I decided that, to defeat the winter blues, we should play a rowdy ball game in the house..."

* * *

><p><em>Hooray, double update! Anyone reading the main story can mosey on over to Growing Pains when you're doing reviewing this one!<em>

_Special thanks to the amazing **amyboomerag**, who actually carried most of the story herself. It's nice to know I have someone who helps me out with comedic pieces (not that **EmmerzK** isn't hilarious either, of course she is). I thought, after the heavy stuff in the main series, it was time for you guys to laugh!_

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


	14. Waiting For Joy

_This was a tumblr only story but I loved it so much, I thought I'd put it here. It is an Inside Out crossover but you don't necessarily have to have seen the movie to know what's going on._

_This is told from the perspective of Erick's Joy. Takes place in Growing Pains._

* * *

><p><strong>Waiting for Joy<strong>

* * *

><p>Everything used to be <em>so<em> much better.

But that was before _it_ happened.

Sometimes I wander over to the core memories and stare into the glowing yellow light of the only one not marred by another color. Sometimes I squint and pretend the other colors aren't shimmering nearby. But to pretend that they aren't there, well… that would be wishful thinking. And you can only do that for so long.

Oh sorry, I bet I'm confusing you. My name is Joy and I belong to the most conscientious, creative, intelligent little boy named Erick.

I'm not the only one here in his head, of course. There's also Fear, who keeps him safe, Anger, who makes sure everything's happening the way it should, Disgust, who keeps him from getting poisoned, and Sadness, who… well, he's sort of the boss of all of us.

Don't get me wrong, Sadness is important, he's vital to what we do! Without him, my memories wouldn't be as bright as they would otherwise. Sadness brings meaning to my job and for that, I am really glad he's around.

But sometimes, I wish he'd give it a rest. Unfortunately for me, life isn't working that way. My job isn't as important anymore.

It was fine until that Snoggletog. It was perfect. You should have seen us before it happened. Not all of Erick's memories were bright yellow but most of them were. I kept everything upbeat. The whole place was decorated with streamers and banners and confetti because not only was it Snoggletog, it was Erick's birthday!

I _love_ birthdays, they're the best. And this one was particularly good. I got to take down the idea bulb I'd been saving and polishing and staring at for years. Mistletoe was above our heads and I wasn't going to let that opportunity go to waste. I skipped over and jammed it in the console. And for a moment, everything was perfect.

Let me take a second to backtrack and tell you all about Erick's best friend. Her name is Adrianna but I call her Annie. And she is the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I should know, I picked her. Out of all the kids Erick could have set his sights on, I knew she was special. Sometimes I'd direct Erick to places I knew she'd be so I could stare at her. Something about Annie reminded me of, well, _me_! And I wanted Erick to have the perfect friend. The best friend ever! I stared at her and I memorized things like how she always liked to wear purple and she would hiccup every time she giggled. Disgust was the one who stopped me from making Erick run over and profess his undying love for her. I mean I supposed it was a little bit early. The middle of the village isn't the best place for that kind of interaction. He probably would have been pretty embarrassed.

But then one day, Annie was sad about something so I gave Erick the perfect idea. I had him draw her a picture in purple ink and give it to her. Fear was going crazy that day but I didn't care! I knew Annie needed to be Erick's friend and I knew this was the perfect time. And she loved the drawing!

That's when they became friends. And the bright yellow glow of a core memory flashed in the headquarters. We watched as it rolled forward and positioned itself in the center. And then a new island showed up: Friendship Island.

And for ten years, that was one of my favorite islands. Sometimes at night, I'd sit and watch through all the best memories with Annie. Discovering a bridge with a troll underneath (it was really a Gronckle taking a snooze and snoring loudly) and reading books with her and playing games and making up stories and talking about life and… well we had a great time! And those bright yellow memories kept on rolling through! Everything was perfect! And then it was Snoggletog ten years after she and Erick became friends and they were under the mistletoe and… well you can probably guess what happened. I inserted the best idea ever and before we knew it, sensors were going off, Erick's heart pounded so loud it shook us like an earthquake, and even Sadness smiled, which is really saying something.

_Erick and Annie kissed_!

And everything was perfect.

And then it wasn't.

Because right after that, Erick's dad died and then they got into a fight. A _big_ fight. And before I could stop him, Anger grabbed his part of the console and threw it forward. And I heard Erick yelling and saying some horrible, mean things.

And then she was gone. Just like that. And a bright red sphere was racing down the pipes beneath the floor and glowed alongside the other core memories. Friendship Island fell into the abyss.

And Erick was alone.

Anger pretends he's glad Annie's gone but we all know that Sadness guides us now.

Every day, I watch as Sadness controls the console, his melancholy expression never wavering. Sometimes Anger takes over and makes Erick blow up at people. For a while, I got to control it. Then the fire happened and his big sister, who was really helping him deal with his sadness, passed away.

Now I know exactly why he's upset. He's lonely. That's why Sadness oversees everything. And meanwhile, I keep an eye out for that beautiful girl. I know she's the only one who can really bring me back, who can give me my job again. And at nights when I'm on Dream Patrol, I watch the best memories of Annie and Erick again. Beautiful Annie and confident Erick toddling hand in hand through the woods in search of more adventure.

So today I'm digging through Erick's ideas. So many bulbs but I know the one I'm looking for. I don't know what it looks like but I always know it when I see it. It's the most important bulb of all.

My eye falls on the bulb I want just as my willpower begins to run out. There it is, the idea that will fix everything. I cradle it in my arms and tiptoe to the console, where the other Emotions are watching Erick eat dinner, probably with a big scowl like always.

"Mom's nagging again." Anger grumbles, his arms crossed. "She's _always_ nagging."

"Don't say anything stupid or she'll get mad!" Fear warns them.

"I can handle it!" Disgust shoots back. "Just avoid the topics that make her mad."

"But why bother when _everything_ makes her mad?" Anger snarls. "We might as well give her a piece of our mind."

"And get grounded?" Fear grabs Anger's arm and clutches tightly. I rub my upper arm, remembering all the times he's grabbed mine like that. "You've gotta think-"

"I'm done thinking!" Anger stomps forward.

"Ugh, he has to wear this uniform to work, why's she telling him he looks stupid in it?" Disgust huffs. "If she hates it so much, she can help him get a better job."

"Come on, let me control for a bit!" Anger reaches for the console but Disgust slaps his hand away.

I clear my throat so they know I'm here. All four of them stare at me as if they've never seen me before. Have I been hiding away that long?

"I found something." I say as I hold up the idea bulb. "And I was thinking we could try it."

"Here she goes again." Anger seethes. "Look, he doesn't _want_ to do it now so there's no point in-"

"Hang on a second." Sadness says, speaking up at last. He shuffles over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "You know it's not time yet."

I speak up. "I was just thinking that if we screw this in, we could-"

"I know." Sadness gently tugs the bulb out of my hands. "It would make him happy. But he's not done feeling sad."

I huff a bit. "But how long? It's been a year and a half!"

"His sister died." Sadness pats me on the shoulder reassuringly. "And right now, I haven't been able to finish my job." he stares at the bulb wistfully. "I want him to be happy as much as you, Joy."

I hang my head. "I haven't been able to do anything in a long time."

"I know." Sadness sighs. "You will. But I want to wait to use this." he looks at the bulb longingly. "I want to make sure it's the perfect moment. You know that if we use it at the wrong time, he may not get you back for even longer."

"He needs this!" I cry out, my fists balled at my sides. "He's so lonely!"

"I agree." Sadness hands me the bulb as tenderly as I was holding it moments before. "Keep it safe, Joy. The time will come. But now Erick needs to cope with these feelings and this could make them worse."

I nod my head in agreement. Done wrong, this idea could backfire badly. I stare out at the open space where Friendship Island had once floated. Next to it is the disintegrating Family Island. Erick's brother and sister keep it going but bits and pieces of it break off and fall into the darkness beneath. I look out just in time to see Erick storm into the village outside. Anger rubs his hands together in a satisfied manner.

"Erick!"

We all tense. _Cliff_!

"Buddy!"

"Not him _again_!" Anger growls, his head sparking. "We already deal with him all day at work!"

"He's not _so_ bad!" I counter him with a shrug. "Chatty perhaps but he's funny."

"Humph." Anger taps his foot. "I'll get rid of him."

"No!" I bolt forward and knock Anger out of the way. "I can handle this!"

"Joy!" Fear says in a shaky voice. "What are you doing?"

"If we can't have Annie," I say as confidently as I can, "we _can_ have Cliff."

"You just like him because he smiles a lot." Disgust groans.

"No, I want Erick to stop feeling lonely." I reply as I work on Erick's reactions to Cliff's words. "I'm tired of him being sad all the time.

They all watch me press buttons and flip switches until it happens. A joyful sound fills the room.

Erick is _laughing_!

I stare at the bulb in my hand as I continue my work. "I haven't forgotten about you." I whisper. "When the time is right, I will use you."

The bulb remains in my hands until my work is done. As I walk away from the console, I polish it until it sparkles.

"You and Annie are going to be friends again, Erick." I say to the bulb. "I promise. But not until you're ready. Not until you know how to be truly happy again."

I watch Fear and Sadness control the console as Erick's mother shouts at him. I hear the door slamming and Erick collapsing into bed. Another day is over.

I stare at the day's memories and smile at the sole yellow memory in a sea of blue, green, red, and purple. A new friend.

Maybe I am needed after all.

Even so, I'm keeping this bulb safe because Erick and Annie need to be friends again. And I eye the button on the far right of the console, the red one with so many warning labels, it looks like the back of a pill bottle. If Annie and Erick are friends and I press that button, there's no going back.

But a part of me knows that that's what he needs. So I curl up next to the idea Erick isn't ready to use and wait for Erick to awaken and start a new day.

* * *

><p><em>I've never written anything in present tense before so I quite like this. I think it works well. It's not perfect but hey, if you want more, I can definitely do more. I know it's not strictly Hiccstrid parenting related but oh well.<em>

_Don't forget to review!_

_~KateMarie999_


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